Page 123 of Tides That Bind

We shuffle down Ship-Slapped’s steps, and I lead her across the street and onto the boardwalk to an empty bench near a lamppost. But when I stop, Harper drops my hand, continuing onto the sand. The breeze down here is more aggressive and she shrinks deeper into the hoodie for a minute before tilting her face up to the sky.

I sink onto the bench.

“I get it. I get there’s a lot going on here and it was all fast and furious last week …Harper, if you want space, I’ll give it to you. I’ll go and stay with Finn and Caroline until I find my own place—”

Harper spins around.

I hold up my hand. “No. We both lost Nate. And the irony here is you were always jealous of the historywehad, but really you lost more of him than I did. You…your grief, it’s bigger than mine. It’s more important than mine.”

Harper sighs. “It’s not a competition.”

“It’s not,” I agree. “It just is what it is. And trust me, I’d do anything to take more of your pain, I swear I would. I can’t. But I can’t live knowing I’m causing you more pain when I’ve done more than enough of that already.”

Harper tugs at the sleeves of my hoodie, pulling them well over her hands. “It’s notyou…it’s everyone else.”

I know Finn has kept our secret. If he told my sister she would’ve wasted no second cross examining me.

“Who?” I ask, but really I want to scream,who else matters?Because the one person who does matter isn’t here and never will be again.

I twist away, turning my head down the beach toward The Shack. My eyebrows raise.

“Silas?” I ask, facing Harper again. “What did he say to you the other day?”

Harper shakes her head.

I step forward and tilt her chin up to look at me. “I only care about whatyouthink,” I say before adding, “And Lucas. Not anyone else. And sure as hell not Silas.”

I don’t know what I hate more—the way Harper’s lips tremble or how she shakes her head, trying to rid herself of the emotion.

“You and me together might raise eyebrows. It might make people wonder things. Fuck what anyone else thinks. It’s not like when you were a kid afraid of what people might say about where you came from. When you’re a kid, you get a hall pass. But I’m calling you out on your bullshit.”

Harper hangs her head. “Riley…”

I place my hand on my chest. “Ask me whatIthink.”

“What?”

“Ask me what I think.”

Harper looks off to the side.

“Fine,” I begin. “I’ll tell you. I think you’re the best mother because you know what the worst is like. I think you love big because you want to be loved back even bigger. You’re smart and determined. You like to have fun. But you’re a hypocrite.”

Harper whips her head back to me, mouth opening in apparent surprise.

“You told me not to care about what others think. And you know what? I don’t anymore. I don’t care if people think I’m stupid because I know I’m not. I don’t care if people think whatI’m about to do for Tides is crazy. Because I know what that dog means and it’snotcrazy.You’re the one who taught me that. When are you going to take your own advice?”

My chest heaves.

“Forget what everyone else thinks. Think about howthisfeels.” I take her hand and press it against her chest. “This heart? Me? I’m yours. And call it fate or whatever, but I could only be yours in this very moment. After Nate died, I thought I was just seeing you in a different light. I was wrong.”

I move Harper’s hand from her chest to my cheek.

“You’re lighting everything up around me and now I see how lucky I am to be in this life with you in it. My life looks different now. And…and I love it. And…”

Harper’s mouth trembles.

“And we’refamily. Screw anyone who doesn’t get it.”

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