I hop to my feet and Riley reaches out, grabbing my hand. Taken by surprise, I freeze but find I’m not filled with tension. Instead, I relax and loosen under his touch, which is gentle but firm. I let him tug me back closer and now stand between his legs.My eyes find his and I’m transfixed on the green orbs, so much so I can’t look down at where he touches me to see if it’s all in my head or if his thumb really is circling the top of my hand.
I swear, he is.
And I swear, my heart sort of skips a beat and its new rhythm takes off.
“I didn’t mean right now,” he says, “Your lips are blue.”
When Riley drops my arm I bring my hand up to where he now stares. And the look? It’s palpable, like I can feel the caress of his sight against the corner of my lips before he sweeps to the center, hovering. I press them together, watching him take a quick breath before he sighs when I relax my mouth.
I must be high from surfing because I swear I now know what it’s like to be kissed by imagination. With just a look I’ve felt a mouth on mine and inhaled another’s breath. I bring ahand to my face, searching for skin that’s been warmed and scraped by a rugged beard.
That kiss might have been all in my head. But, in reality, I’m struggling to catch the breath Riley has stolen from me.
I quickly turn away. I don’t think this is surfer’s high. I must’ve rattled my brain when I fell from the board. Because Harper of sound mind wouldn’t miss what I do right now—the softest intimacy that has me yearning for a moment that’s only been gone for a few seconds.
“I need to get Lucas.” I pick up the board and begin walking up to The Shack.
“I thought Claire was getting him today.”
Riley’s words are a wave that crashes into me, but it doesn’t knock me off my feet. It keeps me frozen in place.
Claire.Claire as in mymother-in-law, the woman who birthed and raised myhusband.
It’s now, I realize for a minute, I forgot who we were—the widow and the dead husband’s best friend. How could I think we were anything other than exactly who we are? After all, Riley and I are on this beach at this exact moment because Natedied.
I’m hit again by another wave, a nauseous one, as if my body is determined to expel the betrayal I think I’ve swallowed down without realizing it.
“Harper?” Riley asks. “Is Claire picking him up?”
“Y-yes. She is.” I lurch forward when Riley pulls the board from me, but regain my balance and keep walking, fast. But leg length isn’t my greatest feature. It just happens to be Riley’s. For every two and a half strides I take, he only needs one. “I’ve got to run to the grocery store and then I’ve got some scheduling work to do for the studio.”
The sand scrapes against the board as he brushes it clean. “It’s your day off,” he reminds me. “Go relax. I’m here for a few hours but then I can pick up stuff on my way home.”
Great. Now Riley has decided to not only be handsome, but helpful as well.
“It’s okay.” I’m not sure at this point I could rid my head of this insanity enough to even formulate a fake grocery list. I point to the outdoor shower at the side of the small building. “Can I rinse off?”
Riley nods. “I’ll get you a towel.”
Flicking open the latch, I scramble inside before yanking the door shut behind me. I immediately turn on the water to mask the sound of my loud breathing, which isn’t from trudging up the beach. The high, tight neck of this wetsuit isn’t helping. I reach back frantically to grab the tie attached to the zipper.
Only I can’t reach it.
I twist and contort in a way only someone who learned to do the splits and a back walkover before riding a bike can.
Nothing.
I stretch my fingers and fan them out.
Nothing.
Leaning against the wooden wall, I do my best to listen over the water. I hear faint noises from the boardwalk, but no distinct, husky voice belonging to Riley.
“Finn?” I call out for the safer option.
“He went to get lunch,” Riley says, so clearly I wonder if he’s pressed his ear against the outside of the shower stall, listening to me panic. “What’s wrong?”
I turn my head, lifting my face into the stream of water. I want to scream.