Page 63 of Tides That Bind

“They have some wiggle room in the contract, but it can’t be much.”

Clearing my throat, I nod. “I don’t know…I mean is a lawsuit taking things too far? I hate that they took Tides, but what if it ends up being a lot of work for you all for nothing?”

I wonder if I have doubt written on my face that Riley can see, because that’s what I’m looking at on his own face—a gentle flex of his jaw and anxious fluttering of his lashes I’m only now realizing are long enough to cast shadows onto the top of his cheeks, on the smooth skin that isn’t covered by the scruff of his beard. My stomach twists and I wonder if maybe what I asked isn’t what Riley heard.

Maybe what he heard was more the lines ofare you really sure you can pull this off?

I change my tune. “You want to do this?”

“I need to,” Riley answers instantly. “Ineedto do it, Harper. And I can.”

The confidence in Riley’s immediate reply isn’t something I can ignore, let alone question. But he’s still staring at me as if he isn’t just waiting for my permission, but for my belief in him.

“Fine. But don’t go crazy on the retainer fees. I’ve got a kid to put through college.”

That hesitant look disappears from Riley’s face, much to my delight, and the knot loosens. And for the first time since Nate died, I relax.

“Retainer fees are you need to let me use your dining table as a desk, and not complain that it's messy. I need space to work.” Riley goes to tip his bottle to mine, but I pull it back.

“And, you’re going to teach me to surf.”

Riley folds his lips together.

I take a deep breath. “Riley, Lucas is afraid of water now.”

His face sinks.

“I want Lucas and me to have something together, something Nate loved. I want that to be the thing that helps him.”

The breath Riley releases is shaky.

“I want to be the one who teaches him, so I want you to teach me. Please, Riley.”

Riley takes a deep breath. “We’ll talk about it.”

I’m as surprised by this as I am by the idea of suing a police department over a dog. “Let the record show, you didn’t sayno.”

Lifting his head, Riley cocks it to the side. “Do you want me to?”

“N-no,” I stammer before bringing my bottle forward to clink it with his. Only this time, it's Riley who pulls back before the touch.

“Eye contact, Harper. Life has been pretty shitty. Let’s not make it worse. We don’t need to condemn each other to seven years of bad sex.”

Riley’s mouth snaps shut immediately, and it might be the first time I’ve seen him be uncomfortable with his own forwardness. Maybe he’s worried cracking jokes about sex to a new member of the widow’s club is inappropriate. Maybe it is. But I let out a half snort, half laugh anyway even though I’m bothered.

But what bothers me isn’t the joke.

What bothers me is the warmth that creeps up my neck when we both smile at each other after.

On a normal day, Tides would be the one to wake me, ramming his nose into my leg, demanding to be let out. But today, it’s after seven when I open my eyes, finding the empty dog bed in the corner of my room. It’s always empty. But I know his sleep spot of choice—at the foot of Lucas's bed—is also empty.

I reach for my phone to text Riley as I climb out of bed and head to the bathroom.

I’ll tell Lucas tonight. I don’t want him upset at school.

My phone dings while I’m rinsing my mouth free oftoothpaste and I stare confused when I see Riley’s name followed by a notification of a voice message.

Are you sure you don’t want to tell him now?