Page 42 of Tides That Bind

Riley rubs his hand over his face.

I straighten, dropping my arms. “I don’t really know what’s the right thing to do here. But I want to do whatever I can to help him feel normal. And Riley, you’re part of that normal.” Shutting my eyes, I feel the tears begin to sting. “I’ll do anything to keep it that way. And I guess what I’m asking from you right now is to help me with that.”

“I shouldn’t have left,” Riley whispers.

“I don’t even care anymore. If you’re planning to come back,” I whisper. “I need you tostay. And maybe it’s a lot of me to ask right now. Because maybe you got a place or—”

“I was sleeping at work.”

While The Surf Shack might be one of Oceanside’s local, hidden gems, successful in its own right, the square footage would hardly be enough for Lucas to live in.

“Caroline and Finn forced me out, but the futon wasn’t so bad.”

“You just had surgery,” I remind him

Riley lifts his cast. “On myfinger.”

“Well…if you’d rather sleep on a futon Finn has probably had for a decade—”

“Two,” Riley says. “Since high school.”

My mouth twists as I attempt to block out the thoughts of what—and whom—that futon has probably seen.

“I want to be here for Lucas”—Riley pauses—“And for you. I wasn’t planning to come back just to be your tenant,” he continues, nudging my shoulder. The playful motion between us is foreign, something new.

But what it also is, isnice.

“Tenants pay rent.” I wipe my eyes. If Riley can make the effort to be light, so can I.

He waves his hand. “Semantics.”

I laugh lightly and take a deep breath. “I don’t know if I can do it alone. I don’twantto do it alone,” I admit, the honesty fueled by how raw my world is.

“You won’t have to.” Riley clears his throat. “I promise.”

There’s a certainty in the tone of his voice that sounds an awful lot like a promise. And maybe I should press Riley on that, to remind him what promises mean to children. They mean so much that when they’re broken, there’s no way to make up for it, no apology to make it better. Sorry becomes just a meaningless word.

But there’s something inside of me telling me Riley knows that already.

Riley sighs, staring off into the dark, front yard. “I know we aren’t”—Riley pauses, clearly contemplating his words—“friends. But we can be partners. For Lucas, we can. For Nate, we can.”

I look down at my lap. Riley is right. We aren’t friends. Maybe we’re the furthest thing from it. And with Nate gone, theobvious tether between us no longer exists.

But Riley coming today reminded me there’s one other string tying us together. And as much as I find Riley showing up to the hospital admirable, Lucas needs more—more of Riley’s time and attention, more of his presence. I can’t have him disappear. I can’t have Lucas lose one more person in his life.

“Swear,” I say. “Swear on Nate, you’ll stick around.”

“I told you—”

“I need more than just telling, Riley.”

Riley turns, his knees now pressing into my leg. “I swear.” His voice dips lower before he continues, “We do it together or we don’t do it at all.”

It is a yes day after all.

“Yes.” I nod. “We’ll do it together.”

“Promise me one thing,” Riley says.

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