Page 41 of Tides That Bind

I stand but start to sway.

Before I know it, Riley is at my side, gently pushing me back down so I sit beside the sectional. He sighs, seeming annoyed. “I told you, you need to eat.”

“I just got up too fast.” I look to Tides who has occupied my previous spot. The sight of him curled up with Lucas is sweet enough to continue to ignore the rule of no dogs on the furniture.

“Do you want a sandwich? You need to eat.”

I shake my head. “I’ll eat in the morning. I think I need sleep first. Almost as much as this guy.” I reach across, smoothing Lucas's hair back. My hand lingers against his head and I frown at his deep breathing, a tell of his serious exhaustion. Tides lifts one eye open but shuts it quickly.

“Both of them.” Riley laughs lightly before he moves to pick up Lucas. “Let me take him up.”

“No.” I motion at his cast. “You’re still hurt.”

“I have one good arm.”

“Well, try to keep it working. Leave him. Just hand me that.”

I accept the blanket Riley removes from the back of the club chair beside the bay window. When I drape it over Lucas, he stirs so slightly and even though Tides doesn’t sit up, he shimmies further up the couch where it’s probably still warm from my body. Lucas drags his arm down from the pillow, now resting it on Tides.

“Do…do you believe in reincarnation?” I ask.

“Reincarnation?”

I turn to face him. “Yeah, like when you come back—”

“I know what reincarnation is.”

Pressing my lips together, I look back at Tides and Lucas. “But do you believe in it?”

“Are you asking me if Nate came back as a dog?” Riley comes and stands beside me. He’s close enough that his cast scratches at the bare skin of my uninjured forearm.

“Yeah, I guess it’s crazy,” I decide. “And Tides has been here for years.”

“I think that dog has been an extension of Nate since the day he brought him home.”

My mouth parts and I push back the trembling of my lips to swallow down air.

“So yeah,” Riley continues, “Maybe, in some ways, he never really left.”

I’m met with flashbacks of earlier today, of Tides pushingLucas out of the way and putting himself in danger to keep him safe like it was the most natural, instinctive thing in the world. Like it’s something a parent would do.

My chest starts to tighten. “I need…I think I need a little air.”

The front door is closest, so I partially stumble toward it and grab the handle as my chest constricts more. As soon as I’m outside, I sink onto the front step, bringing my head between my knees.

“Harper?”

Riley’s feet shuffle behind me.

“Harper?”

Even though the stretching of the muscles hurts, I fold my arms, lifting my head and resting my cheek on them so I face Riley as he sits down next to me.

“He hardly smiles,” I begin, taking a shaky breath. “Not like before…. I get it, you know, his dad died.”

Riley’s shoulders slump.

“Everyone says how resilient kids are and…I can’t focus on anything when he’s just so sad and the only times he laughs or smiles is with Tides or…whenyoushowed up.”

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