Page 167 of Tides That Bind

“Go easy on me, alright? This is the first time I loved someone I used to hate.” He drops his finger and leans down. “Make sure you’re the last one too.”

My face hurts from smiling.

“Come on,hateis a strong word."

“You’re right,” Riley agrees. “How I love you is so much stronger.”

Just when I thought I couldn’t smile any harder, Lucas's voice sounds from the living room.

“He’s here!”

We pull away from each other easily, not because we’re trying to be extra discreet, but because we’re in agreement that Lucas comes first—his happiness and sadness. Riley and I are going to be theretogetherfor all that and in between.

I barely make it out of the kitchen when I see the front door swing open, Lucas's bare feet skidding on the entry floor as he flies through it and outside.

Tides’s bark is like the most welcome punch to the gut that releases the breath I didn’t know I was holding this entire time. It stops me right in my tracks, another reminder that every moment is another opportunity to feel whole even if a second, a day, a month ago, you felt empty.

Our family feels as whole as it possibly can with Tides home. Between him and Lucas, we have so much of Nate here.

Turning, I find Riley behind me. I’m overwhelmed in a way I can’t explain, but he guides me through the door so I don’t miss this—Tides wrestling Lucas to the ground, pulling innocent laughter and magnificent giggles from my son who twists and turns, dodging Tides’s enthusiastic tongue lapping at his face. He doesn’t wear his K9 vest, but he’s back on duty.

I don’t command him to heel, to be easy, to back off and sit, or tell Lucas to get off the grass that now leaves stains on the white dress shirt.

Leaning against the door frame, I let them have this moment because it’s everything Riley and I have been fighting for. In allmy years, all my moments, my highs and lows, gains and losses—it’s the ecstatic whines of a dog and the giggles from my son that make me feel the most grateful.

And of course, the hand of the one who made this all possible, crooked finger and all, that guides me outside.

Clicking my tongue, I call Tides’s name, and I’m a bit surprised that he stops his loving assault, looking up and staring at me for a moment before he comes charging, jumping up so his dirty paws press against the top of my thighs. And even though I’m wearing light, linen pants, I’ll take the dirty laundry, the floor that will need to be cleaned later. I’ll take all of the mess life gives me, even if I just cleaned, even if life was perfect a second ago.

Tides only settles for a few ear scratches before he returns to Lucas and I look down the front lawn at Silas who stands at the passenger side of his cruiser, still in uniform. He lifts a hand, giving a small wave, a sign of surrender before he walks around the car.

“Silas!” I call out, taking the few steps quickly, walking down the path and closer to the street. I stop a few feet away. It was after we returned home Riley told me Silas had planned to approach us about what was going on with Tides, and, even after our altercation, came through to do the right thing.

“Thank you,” I say. “I imagine it probably hurt for you to go against the grain.”

Silas’s eyes are focused beyond me, at the joyful sight and noise on the lawn. “It took me a minute to figure outwhatthe right thing was,” he admits. “I was helping a friend file some old reports and one of them was from the hospital. It had your name, your address and…” He shakes his head. “I saw the write up and how you put yourself in danger for Tides and Tides put himself in danger for Lucas and I thoughtwhat am I doing?”

I smile sadly.

“I might’ve not been able to stop this, but I could’ve tried toput my foot down. When I went to help Riley and then saw you two—”

I open my mouth, but Silas continues.

“It’s not my business, I know. It’s not my place. I know Nate loved Riley. I never understoodwhy”—he pauses and I have to laugh, because neither did I—“but I also know he loved Tides. And he’d want them both looking out for you and Lucas.”

I nod. “I appreciateyoulooking out for us.”

He gives a gentle nod before lifting his head. “Take care of your dad’s pup, Lucas, alright?”

Lucas is too busy to answer.

“He will,” I vouch. “We will.”

It’s then Silas’s eyes flick toward Riley, still on the porch. I can feel the protective warning coming from him beat into my back. But I don’t want it. I don’t want the animosity, the tense space. Life might be short, but it’s big enough that all the pieces of who Nate was can fit together.

After all, it was true for me and Riley.

“We’ve got a few pizzas. Are you heading home or—”

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