Page 8 of Gua rdian of Blood and Shadow

I forced a smile that I hoped looked welcoming and gestured to the settee across the table from me. “Please, sit,” I said, though I had little hope that Helene would be a good fit for the role of my teacher. I sensed a vacancy within her. An absence of will. Of self. I thought of what Isador had said about Helene losing her consorts and wondered if that was the source.

After a few minutes of one-sided conversation, my suspicions about Helene being a poor fit for the role were confirmed, and I bid the other queen farewell. The interview with Doris went much the same, and once the door to the sitting room was shut and Javier, Bastian, and I were alone in the study, I sighed and slumped back on the settee.

“Isador, it is,” I said, sounding resigned.

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Javierroundedthesetteeand sat down opposite me, leaning forward and planting his forearms on his thighs. “She’ll make an excellent teacher.” He reached out, pushing the tray of tea and finger foods closer to me. “You should eat. Keep up your strength for the next order of business.”

I stared at him, Isador and my training forgotten as heat crept up my neck until my face flamed.

As if on cue, the door to the sitting room opened, and Ash walked in, accompanied by Thane. a.k.a.the next order of business.

Javier was adamant that I bind another consort as soon as possible to dampen the effects of losing Gavin. Except Gavin wasn’tlost. We knew exactly where he was; we just couldn’t get to him.

Ash shut the door, and he and Thane took up positions standing guard on either side of the doorway.

I licked my lips, my pulse racing, and looked at Javier. Bastian stood behind him, smirking. “If there really is a tincture made from Gavin’s blood,” I said, desperation forcing me to find the logic in the altered situation, “then we don’t need to rush things, right?”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to bond with Thane, but the memory of mycommunionwith just three immortalsat the same timemade me flush with a combination of embarrassment and insecurity. They had worshipped me, and I had loved it. But I didn’t feel like I deserved it.

They were each so perfect in their own way. How could I ever be enough for them? There was just one of me, and once Thane was added to the harem as my fifth consort, I would be divided further. The traditional size of a vampire queen’s harem included seven immortal consorts. Seven hearts and minds and bodies for me to prioritize. Seven people to keep in mind with every decision I made. Seven immortals with their own unique desires for me to satisfy. It seemed like an impossible task. A balancing act that was doomed to fail.

“Soph,” Bastian said, sitting beside me. “Stop.” He gripped my knees, angling me toward him, and gathered my hands in his. “Stop selling yourself short. You are more than enough.”

“But why?” I asked, my voice small and too high. “Because Isurvived?” Tears welled as my deep-seated inadequacy swelled. “Because I’m the High Queenby default?”

Bastian chuckled, low and deep. “There’s nothing default about you,” he said. “Everything you’ve been through has made youmore. You survived shit that would have crushed most people because you’re strong. Because you have the will to persevere. You’re not High Queen of the House of the Moon by default, Soph, but by right. By blood and struggle and, yeah, survival.”

The devotion in his gaze made my heart swell, and tears snuck over the brims of my eyelids.

The corner of Bastian’s mouth tensed, and the hint of a dimple appeared in his cheek. “And I can promise you that when it comes tocommunions, none of your consorts will ever be disappointed, because you give so fucking freely, and you take like a goddess who knows she deserves the world.”

An inferno ignited in my blood, and my face felt like it was on fire.

Bastian pulled one hand free and gently wiped away my tears. “Now eat,” he said, glancing at the tiered tray of food, then smirking at me, his eyes dancing. “So we can get you naked.”

I laughed and teasingly pushed him away. “You’re incorrigible.”

He leaned in and pressed a kiss to my cheek. “I’myours,” he corrected, then pulled away. He released my other hand and stood, starting for the door.

“Where are you going?” I asked, watching him walk away. With the way his jeans hugged his ass, it was an excellent view.

“To grab a snack,” he tossed over his shoulder, then made a show of flexing his muscled arms. He flashed me a dimple. “Gotta keep up my own strength.”

Ash huffed out a silent laugh as he pulled the door open. Bastian leaned in, speaking quietly to both vampires, and a few seconds later, all three stepped out of the room, and Javier and I were alone.

“You chose well with that one,” Javier said, eyeing the door like he could still see Bastian through the solid wood. He could likely still hear him, undead vampire hearing being what it was.

“Even though he’s a shifter?” I reached for the tiered tray and plucked a small sandwich off the bottom level. Cucumber and cream cheese, from the looks of it. Kind of weird, but yummy.

“Becausehe is a shifter,” Javier said, and my brows rose in surprise. “Empathy is one of their kind’s greatest strengths, and he is exceptionally in tune with that part of himself. He fits you so well because he instinctively understands the root sources of your fears and desires.”

I took a bite and frowned as I chewed, never having considered my connection with Bastian on so deep a level.

“It’s almost like Selene put him in your path because she could see you needed him,” Javier mused, his stare going unfocused, like he was seeing around hidden corners. “And that he needed you.”

I swallowed and asked, “How so?”

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