Page 23 of Gua rdian of Blood and Shadow

My stomach clenched as I recognized the blood tincture–only this vial had to contain Gavin’s, not Javier’s. Just seeing it made my chest ache with his absence, that empty space in my newly formed harem like a phantom limb. Would I ever be complete? Or was I destined to always be missing some part or other of my heart?

“This will help you access your full strength. You’vecommunedrecently enough with the others,” Isador explained. “Then we’ll ask the goddess to bless your bonds with your consorts. If the ritual is successful, we’ll see a projection of your heart sigils within the ritual space, allowing us to measure the strength of your existing bonds and ensure their long-term viability.” Isador directed me to stand in the center of the chamber, directly under the crystal moon.

I licked my lips and approached, Bastian’s hand in mine. “How, exactly, do I do that?”

“You use yourwillto call forth the bonds,” Isador said, taking Bastian’s hand from mine and exchanging it for the vial of blood tincture. “You pull the bonds out of the spirit realm and into physical reality.” Isador guided Bastian to stand on the full moon sigil. “And if the goddess approves, she’ll grant you the power to temporarily make the invisible visible.”

A lump lodged in my throat. “I’m not good at controlling my Will,” I confessed.

Isador smiled mysteriously, leaving Bastian behind and heading for Ash. “Of course you aren’t.” She guided Ash to stand on the waxing gibbous moon sigil. “Which is why we’re down here in the Selenarium, where the goddess can help guide your power.” She approached Javier next, moving him to the new moon sigil. “But you must learn this most basic diagnostic ritual.” She made her way toward Thane. “It’s necessary for both your safety as well as that of your consorts, and it’s essential you become comfortable communicating with the goddess.” She moved Thane to the waning gibbous moon sigil, effectively dispersing my consorts evenly around me.

“Now drink,” she said, turning to me. “And let us begin.”

I uncorked the vial with trembling fingers. The instant Gavin’s blood tincture touched my tongue, completely scrubbed of his usual spiced chocolate flavor, power surged through me like electricity. The crystal moon blazed brighter, and the sigils on the floor flared.

“Now,” Isador said, “feel your connection to these immortals. Sink into the bonds. Wrap them around your hands like ropes. Hold them tight. And once you have them, pull them to you.”

I glanced at each of my consorts, uncertain about my ability to do what was necessary. With this. With saving Gavin. With protecting my son or ending this war or fending off the Shadow King or, well, with pretty much everything.

Releasing a resigned sigh, I closed my eyes and focused on my sense of my consorts around me. On their emotions, the shapes of their thoughts, their steady support and unwavering confidence and hopeful expectation. On their love. On their fear.

I reached out, mentally and physically, actually raising my arms. I felt the bonds coiling around my hands. I curled my fingers, gripped them tight, and pulled.

The consequences were immediate and horrifying. Thane groaned, and my eyes snapped open as his body went rigid, his muscles locking as he crashed to the ground, apparently paralyzed by whatever I had done. Through our bond, I felt his terror—not of me, but of being trapped again, helpless.

Ash dropped to his knees, his hands out in front of him, as he searched blindly, all senses stripped from him. “Thane?” he called out, panicked. “Sophie?! THANE!”

“Shit, Soph!” Bastian gasped, his form blurring as he shifted uncontrollably—first panther, then raven, then bear, his bones cracking and reforming as the shifts tore through him too quickly for the magic in his blood to keep up. Pain sliced through our bond like razor wire. His amber eyes, usually warm with devotion, clouded with feral ferocity as he lost control of his own body.

“BASTIAN!” I cried, but he couldn’t hear me anymore.

The transformations accelerated, his body no longer settling into any shape. Fur sprouted and receded, feathers burst from skin only to dissolve into scales. Limbs stretched and contracted, his face elongating into muzzles, then snapping back to human features distorted with agony.

The forms began to merge—panther’s claws extending from human hands, raven’s wings erupting from a torso covered in gilded scales. His pupils split and multiplied, amber bleeding into gold that glowed with an ancient power that didn’t belong to Bastian at all.

What emerged was a chimera of impossible parts. Through our bond, I felt his consciousness fracturing, the part of him that was Bastian drowning beneath animal instinct and something older, something that felt like sunlight and the wild heart of the forest.

The creature that had been Bastian threw back its head, now crowned with curved horns that glowed like heated metal, and roared. The sound carried harmonics that shook the stones beneath our feet. The sigils flickered, responding to a power they hadn’t been designed to contain.

He lunged for me, rage in those inhuman golden eyes.

Javier moved with preternatural speed, intercepting Bastian. They crashed together, Javier’s body absorbing the impact of claws that left deep furrows in his flesh. Bastian’s raven wings unfurled, thrashing wildly.

“Control it, Sophie!” Isador barked. “You pulled forth their greatest fears, not their bonds. Release them!”

But how could I when every instinct screamed for me to flee? To hide. To stop the ritual and run away and abandon it all, because that would be better than this, than trying and failing and having to face the proof that I truly wasn’t enough.

Bastian’s monstrous form thrashed against Javier’s restraint. I had no idea how Javier remained relatively unaffected by the ritual—maybe an extension of his Prime Consort immunity to my Will—but I was so incredibly grateful for it nonetheless.

Through our bond, I felt Bastian’s terror—not of me, but of himself. Of being trapped in a form he couldn’t control, of the ancient wildness threatening to consume him. If I let go, if Ireleased himas Isador instructed, he feared he would be lost forever.

“I can’t,” I choked out. “I’ll lose him!”

Panic surged to life within me like a miniature version of Bastian’s beastly form. I would lose him, just like I’d known I would. Like I’d lost everyone I ever loved. My mom. Amaya. Javier. Wes. Micah. Gavin. I’d known this would happen. I hadknown. I hugged my middle, sobbing as I attempted to hold myself—and Bastian—together.

“I lose everyone,” I whimpered.

“You won’t, Soph,” Wes said, his voice echoing through me as he wrapped his arms around me, cocooning me in his ghostly essence and sending tingles over me from head to toe. “You won’t lose him, and you didn’t lose me. I’m right here. Javier is right there. Amaya is upstairs with Micah, who is here with you. Gavin is waiting for you. You didn’t lose us, Soph. We’reright here.”

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