Page 18 of Gua rdian of Blood and Shadow

“Bas,” I said, placing my hand on his tense shoulder.

He turned his head, looking at me over his shoulder.

“Thanks for trying, but you can stand down.” I smiled up at him, hoping he could sense how much I appreciated him, even through my irritation at the others.

Relaxing visibly, Bastian moved aside. I stepped into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind me, and started toward the High Queen’s chambers with Bastian as my shadow.

I stormed into the sitting room to find Javier in the middle of the room, his arms folded over his broad chest, while Ash and Thane stood close together near the door to the study.

Hands balled into fists at my sides, I hovered in the doorway, Bastian at my back, and stared down my vampire consorts. The irritation simmering under my skin reached a boiling point, and I couldn’t hold back any longer.

“Whatthe hellwas that?” I demanded cooly, my gaze sweeping over each of them before settling on Javier. “I’m not a child to be coddled, and I sure as hell don’t need any of you to protect me from myown damn son.”

Just as Javier opened his mouth to respond, the door behind him swung open. A group of vampires and humans emerged from the study, their arms laden with sheets and cleaning supplies. They froze when they saw us, their eyes widening as they took in the tense scene.

Heat crept up my neck, and I suddenly felt incredibly awkward having this confrontation in front of the house staff. I mean, I was supposed to be the High Queen of the House of the Moon, not some petulant child arguing with her—much older and more experienced—consorts.

One of the humans, an older woman with kind eyes who seemed to be in charge, bowed her head. “Apologies, my lady. We were just finishing up in the bedchamber. We’ll be out of your way in a moment.”

I forced a smile, nodding an acknowledgment. “Thank you.”

As they hurried past us, I couldn’t help but wonder, yet again, where all these people lived. The mansion was large, but there was no way it could house everyone I had seen bustling about. I made a mental note to add learning about the layout and logistics of running the Moon Sanctuary to my ever-growing list of queenly duties. I didn’t even know who oversaw running the household. Had that been Gavin’s job? Or was there a head housekeeper?

Once the staff had disappeared down the hallway, I turned back to Javier, my earlier frustration returning full force. He met my stare, his jaw set stubbornly.

“Well?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

“With all due respect, Luna, you are my queen.” Javier glanced at Ash and Thane. “Ourqueen. Our lives are tied to yours, which makes your safety and well-being our top priority.”

I scoffed, shaking my head. “Bullshit.” I held up a hand before Javier could respond. “I wasn’t in any danger, and you knew it.” I huffed out a breath. “I need room to breathe, Javier. I need to be able to have a single damn emotion without you running to shield me from my feelings. Ineedto be able to have a conversation withmy sonwithout my consorts hovering over me. I’m not made of glass. I won’t break. I think I’ve proved that by now.”

Ash and Thane shifted uncomfortably, clearly sensing that this was more about Javier and me working through some shit and less about them wanting to protect their queen. I felt kind of bad that they’d been caught in the middle of our growing pains. I’d have been much less annoyed if they had all just waited patiently in the hallway, respecting the boundary of the door. But Javier just had to push.

My shoulders slumped, much of the fight going out of me. I was still hungry, thanks to my interrupted meal, and I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a solid night’s sleep. I was starting to think I might just spend the rest of my life teetering on the edge of exhaustion. I shuffled into the sitting room, making a beeline for Javier.

His stony expression softened as I drew near.

“I know I can trust you to protect me,” I said, stopping in front of him, just out of arm’s reach. It took everything in me not to sink into him, but we needed to clear the air before it suffocated us both. “But I’d like to think I can trust you to respect me as well.”

Outrage flashed in Javier’s eyes. “You think I don’t respect you?”

I shrugged and stared down at our shoes, his boots looking so polished and professional compared to my slip-ons. Maybe this wasn’t entirely on him. Respect had to be earned, after all, and what had I done to earn his? Run, hide, and be constantly afraid? Make shitty decisions in the name of survival? I had never really existed in the immortal world without him. Even before the uprising, he had been a constant fixture in my life.

I had been back for a few days, and look at the mess I had made of things. I didn’t know what I was doing. I could barely use my magic, and when I did, it was unintentional and with poor control. I’d already lost one of my consorts, and I nearly got Micah killed. Gods, I was a failure in every possible way.

My breaths came faster, the desperation from earlier rising anew. I gritted my teeth, refusing to fall to pieces right now.

“Leave us,” Javier said, his voice quiet and commanding.

I sensed varying degrees of uncertainty through my bonds with the others, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at any of them. Not when I was barely holding myself together.

Nobody moved. Not me. Not Javier. And not Thane, Ash, or Bastian.

“Go,” I whispered, then drew in a tremulous breath as my other consorts left the sitting room. I was more of a confrontation avoider, but this little chat between Javier and me would happen eventually. It had to. It was like an infection, festering the longer it went unaddressed. Sooner was better than later.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek, working up the nerve to raise my eyes to Javier’s face. To meet his gaze.

“I need to know you won’t hurt those guys,” I said, sounding tired. I needed to know I could count on Javier to do what I said when it really mattered. Actions speak louder, and all that. I wanted to avoid feeling like I had to use mywillon him every time I asked him to do—ornotdo—something.

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