Page 78 of Heir of Blood and Moonlight

“But what about the rest of them?” I asked, stopping just outside Javier’s cell and scanning the others. There had to be at least a dozen more locked cell doors. At least a dozen more queens.

“They’re not my priority,” Gavin said, handing Javier off to another vampire. “Bastian,” Gavin called out. “Leave it and get the hatch open.”

Bastian dropped the key ring without argument and stood, hurrying toward what appeared to be a large iron drain cover in the floor in the middle of the corridor.

Gavin gripped my elbow, dragging my attention back to him. “Sophie,” he said urgently, walking me further out of the cell. “This is not your fault.”

My brow furrowed, and I searched his face, his eyes, trying to understand his meaning. Slowly, I shook my head. “The queens . . .?”

“Someone has to stay behind to feed them,” he said, his expression solemn. “I will return to you,” he swore and leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, his breath warm on my skin. “I wish there was another way, that we had more time. I wish—” He growled his frustration and pressed his lips against mine in a desperate, searing kiss that felt like both a promise and a goodbye.

And then he was gone, the cell door slamming shut between us, and I was left with nothing but the taste of his lips and the shattered remains of my heart.

I stared at him through the bars, still not understanding what was happening. Why was heinthe cell?

“Sophie!” Bastian shouted. “We’ve got to go. Now!”

“But—” I gestured to the locked cell door. To Gavin, who had just willingly made himself a prisoner.

“Now, Sophie,” Bastian urged, gripping my arm and tugging me away from the cell. Away from Gavin.

I felt numb, like I was moving through a fog as I was guided to the hole in the floor and helped to sit on the ledge, my feet dangling into the flooding tunnel under the dungeon. Apparently he had already opened the hatch. Someone fitted a mask over my face, Bastian, maybe, then pulled me into the hole and under the water. My movements were robotic as I swam through the narrow hatch and out into a larger tunnel.

Gavin . . . He was back in the dungeon. Back in the cell.

And we were leaving him behind.

47

Istood under thestream in the shower in Bastian’s room, alone but for the suffocating company of my somber thoughts. Steam gathered around me, and the air felt as heavy as my heart when I drew it into my lungs.

Gavin was gone. Notgonegone, but gone enough that he left a gaping hole in my world. How had he become so essential to me in such a short period? He had turned my life upside down, reminding me of my true self. In so many ways, he had saved me. Even if I didn’t know him well, I trusted him, and more importantly, I respected him. In just a few days, he had proved his nobility to me time and again. He would always put our people first.

Instead of returning with me, Gavin chose to stay behind in that shifter dungeon with the other queens, to keep them alive. If he had left with me, they would’ve died, and that was unacceptable to him. It was as simple as that. And as much as it stung to know I wasn’t always his priority, I understood and respected his decision. Hell, I likely would have agreed it was theright thing to do in that situation if he had only had the time to explain. But he hadn’t had time, and now he was gone.

I could sense Bastian outside the bathroom, trying not to hover. It didn’t really matter if he was in here with me physically or not, his thoughts were zeroed in on me, all hesitancy and concern, which meant he was with me nonetheless. Still, I appreciated the gesture. I had been alone for so long that solitude was how I coped.

I sensed Ash as well, one of the few bright spots in the darkness surrounding my heart. He was with Thane, in their room, taking care of the man he loved by helping him take blood from several mortals without maiming or killing them. The shifters had been keeping Thane in better shape than Javier, but he had still been tortured and was malnourished, which, as I had experienced firsthand, turned him rather savage and brutish while feeding.

And, of course, I sensed Javier. His dark, heavy emotions did little to lighten my heart, though his presence in the Moon Sanctuary was probably the only reason I wasn’t huddled on the shower floor, sobbing. I had lost Gavin, but I had regained Javier. I could feel the long-neglected bond I shared with my first bound immortal, my Prime Consort, tugging on my heart, urging me to go to him. And yet, I continued to stand under the steaming stream of water, avoiding the impending interaction.

I didn’t know what we were, Javier and me. When he vanished two decades ago, he had been my caretaker, my provider, my mentor, my teacher, my companion, and sometimes my friend. But I had been young, and he had been very careful to shield me both from the truth of our world and from the reality of my role in it. We were bound, but would he be able to see me as a woman, rather than as the girl he used to know? Would he be able to look past our history to become a full, active consortin my harem? WouldI? Or would we continue to linger in this confusing limbo?

Sighing, I lathered soap in my hands and rubbed them over my body. I had been in the shower, wallowing for long enough. Javier had already fed from several mortals, with no desire involved, based on what I sensed through the bond, and he was waiting for me. It was time to stop delaying the inevitable.

I finished washing, then rinsed and turned off the shower. I stared at my pruney fingers, wondering just how long I had been standing under the water. My stomach rumbled. Long enough for hunger to make itself known. Looked like my lack of appetite from before the rescue mission was catching up to me.

I quickly dried, then wrapped the towel around myself and opened the bathroom door. Bastian sat on the edge of the hastily made bed, a tray like those used to bring breakfast in bed sitting on the comforter beside him, loaded up with a few sandwiches, some sliced fruit and cheese, and a carafe of coffee, based on the enticing aroma, along with a mini ceramic pitcher of what I assumed was milk and a tiny bowl of sugar. There was a second mini pitcher—the only item on the tray that baffled me.

I eyed the sandwiches, zeroing in on the line of promised deliciousness peeking out from between each pair of bread slices as I crossed to the dresser. “Peanut butter and honey?” I asked, my mouth already watering.

“Only the best for my lady,” Bastian said, a slight curve to his lips. There were some perks to him having spied on me as a cat for months. He knew all my guilty pleasures, the things I hid from the rest of the world. He knew what I liked to eat, to watch, to wear . . . even how I touched myself when I was alone. He had the secret playbook to pushing all of my buttons and scratching all of my itches, and I kind of loved it.

“You’re too good to me,” I told him. I pulled out some leggings, a flowy T-shirt, and a long, cozy cardigan. I choseundergarments for comfort—like that was anything new—and some fuzzy socks.

I dropped my towel, watching Bastian’s gaze roam over my curves. I sensed his rising desire, though he did an admirable job of feigning nonchalance. Once I was dressed, I sat on the edge of the mattress to pull on my socks.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked.

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