If his hand drifted an inch lower, he’d be touching my breast. And I wanted him to. I want him to touch me. We were in our own little bubble as we talked. This close, it forced me to tilt my head up and meet his cerulean blue gaze. It would be so easy to lean in. To place my mouth upon his and see where it took us.
But I doubted Axel would appreciate my disregard for my safety. That, more than anything else, stayed my hand.
“It calms me. Cooking makes sense to me when the rest of life is chaotic and doesn’t. And I’ve always wanted a big family to cook for.” I didn’t know why I was being this honest with Chase. Perhaps it was because he was open and engaging. Maybe it was that I didn’t spy a hint of judgement in his eyes. He listened, like he was really interested in my answers.
“You don’t have a family?”
I shook my head. “I was taken from my parents when I was seven and put into foster care. My parents were meth addicts. To feed their addiction, they were cooking meth in a shed in the backyard and then selling it for a profit. They were caught in a drug raid when they were trying to sell it, only they were selling it to undercover DEA agents. For their manufacturing and distribution of meth, they were sent to prison for twenty years. So, they’ll get out in a few years. But to answer your question, no, I don’t have a family.”
And it was rather sad. In the short time they’d been with me, I began considering the four guys my family. It was why I cooked a family style meal for dinner each day. Because I yearned for a family of my own, even after the hell that was my marriage.
“Are you going to look them up when they get released from prison?”
The question surprised me. “No. Why would I? What I remember from that time of my life could fill a thimble, and none of it was good. Their focus was never on me, but on the next score, the next batch of drugs. They’d go out partying and wouldn’t return until the following day. Our house wasn’t in a friendly neighborhood. And I remember listening to the shouts, the gunfire, the partying, and the sirens on our street and being so frightened I would hide in my closet with my pillow and blanket. Being alone like that when I was five was terrifying.” There were many nights I cried myself to sleep. I had no use for my birth parents. “No, I won’t look them up. They’re nothing to me but the people who gave me life. I’ve had to rely on myself my whole life.”
He frowned. “That breaks my heart, beautiful.”
“I didn’t mean to do that, but you asked.” And much like Axel and Gideon, I trusted Chase. It was a level of comfort I didn’t experience with most people. I knew it was nothing more than an illusion, that I was paying them to have my back. But it didn’t deter the way they made me feel—like I finally had people supporting me, who wouldn’t fail me, who would be there even when the going got tough. And that was worth its weight in gold. I would much rather have these four men at my back for the rest of my life than the fortune my husband left me.
“Here we go.” Jenny waltzed back onto the sales floor, her arms laden with bags and boxes.
“I can get those.” Chase stepped in, hefting the packages from Jenny’s arms as if they were nothing.
“Oh thanks. Must be nice to have such a good helper.” Jenny winked at me and gave Chase an appreciative stare.
“It is. I think I’ll keep him.” I murmured low, like it was our secret, but still made sure Chase heard me.
But then I glanced his way. Chase cast a sensual smirk. Butterflies went berserk in my belly. A flush spread up through my chest and into my cheeks. I’d literally spent the night screwing his friends. I’d fucked Gideon in the shower a few short hours ago. Yet the way Chase looked at me, it was like he wanted to eat me up one giant spoonful at a time, and had fire spreading through my loins.
Seriously, it was like I’d been dosed with medicine that made people horny. Because since their arrival, I had turned into a slut. Or perhaps I had always been one, but with them I could relax enough to release my inner ho.
“We should go if we need to make all those other stops.” Chase nodded toward the door with his arms full of my purchases.
“Thanks, Jenny! It’s a pleasure, as always.”
“Anytime. And let me know how that pastry gadget works the next time you’re in.”
“Will do.” I held the door open for Chase as we exited the shop. He carried my purchases to the car and put them in the back. Before he jogged around to the driver’s side and spoke to Axel while I stood on the sidewalk by the front passenger door.
With the front windows lowered, Axel studied me, his eyes hidden behind shiny aviator sunglasses. One look at him and I wanted to be in his arms. I wanted the shelter his arms provided to wash away the fight I had with Gideon. I wanted to bask in the safety and security he made me feel.
“All right, beautiful, where to next?” Chase asked, placing a proprietary hand on my low back when he rejoined me on the sidewalk. I wasn’t prepared for the swath of heat radiating from his branding touch throughout my core.
I glanced at his face, trying to discern what was happening between us. And why I was so turned on by these men. It was like they entered my life and flipped a switch. It was insane how much I craved more than his hand on my back. I wanted to touch Chase. I wanted to yank him into a nearby alley, press him up against the building and kiss him.
Simply, I wanted him.
“I need to stop by The Lacey Closet two blocks up. And then we can hit the corner market on our way back to the car. They should have all the ingredients I need to make coq au vin for you guys.”
“I’m touched that you want to go to such lengths for me. Makes me want to eat you up one bite at a time,” he murmured in a husky voice.
“Is that a fact?” I teased, tendrils of heat coiling in my belly.
He leaned in, towering over me. “It is. I can’t wait to hear you moan as I fill you with my cock.”
My pussy thumped and quivered at his naughtiness. I didn’t understand why his bold words aroused me. I’d never been a woman who cared for dirty talk—until them. “You assume you’ll get a chance.”
He grazed a knuckle down my cheek. I felt his gentle touch clear into my toes. “Won’t I? I’ve seen the way you look at me, beautiful. And if I told you all the naughty, depraved things I want to do to your gorgeous body, you’d likely run away screaming.”