Page 99 of Shâhzâdeh

“Why is that?” Her question seemed to come from genuine curiosity to my thought process and now that she was defensive.

“Because…”

“Don’t do that. Don’t think of the right thing to say. I want to hear your thoughts.”

“Okay. Often I wonder how I’m coming off to you. You are not hard to read at all when you know what to look for, but there are moments where I wonder if I’m fooling myself. When you are knocked out of zhe frame of perfection you pour yourself into, I feel able to breaze.”

“You think I’m perfect.” I hated how she questioned the praise I gave her, but it reminded me to do it more often.

“No one is perfect, but I zhink you feel zhe need to be. As an atonement, but I’m not sure what for.” I didn’t want my perception of her to taint the enjoyment of our evening.

She worried her top lip with her teeth almost as though she needed a minute to review the reasons behind her actions. “Not atone, but I don’t want anyone to find fault in me. That makes me nervous that I’m failing.”

“Here is an ugly truz you have to face,azizam.”

“What does that mean?” I could admit my Vanya’s curiosity made me happy because I loved the interest she took in me and my cultures.

“Azizam? My beloved.”

“Oh.” Her blush deepened again but instead of letting her stay embarrassed I continued.

“Zhe zhing you need to understand is zhat people can and will always find fault in you. Especially if you are doing better than them. Silence zhe haters in your head and prohibit zhem from your space. And zhen you move on and live a beautiful life.”

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Maman

VANYA

“WONDERING WHAT YOU got yourself into?”

Her voice was soft. Her accent a mix of a southern drawl and French lilt. When I looked up I came to face a woman who exemplified a colorists dream woman. She had a softly rounded face that made her look far younger than I knew she was. Skin that was a similar hue to mine minus the freckles with long black hair that was loosely curled. She had deep brown eyes the shape of which she’d given her son, and extremely long lashes. Her jewelry was tasteful but this woman screamed expensive. Like the grand dames of the Black elites. Frankie had me watch A Different World and Fresh Prince of Bel Air and this woman was definitely Marion Gilbert vibes. In short, she was absolutely stunning.

“Mrs. Cannon.” I jumped up from the sofa in my office because I was so lost in thought I hadn’t heard her come in.

I glanced behind her and saw Navi smirking, which meant her ass wanted to catch me unawares.

Her smile was gracious as she walked further into my office and gave me a brief embrace I wasn’t expecting. “Mahdavi-Cannon. Gotta give respect to the exemplary man I married.” Her smile even seemed cultured and I felt so awkward.

“That’s very sweet.”

“You did not answer the question.” There was mild censure in her tone and in her eyes but the smile on her face was welcoming so I didn’t feel like she was angry.

I bit my lip, wanting to be brave with my words but not sound disrespectful. “I know what I got myself into. Well, as much as I could know at this point.”

Softly arched, perfectly groomed brows rose in surprise as a pleased smile crept across her face. “And yet you have not run away.”

“No. I haven’t.” The smile deepened and she gave me a slight nod. She smoothed her hands down the silk of her dress before motioning toward the spot next to where I’d been sitting on the sofa. I scoot over to make more room for her and she elegantly glided down onto the spot next to me. I’d been relaxing with my shoes off and scrambled to put my heels back on.

Not the best first impression, Vanya.

“I wonder, Vanya, if I speak to you directly, would you harbor ill will toward me?” Her face was still very soft, but there was an edge of seriousness to her tone.

Damn, here I thought we were getting somewhere. Was I wrong about her acceptance? “I don’t understand.”

She looked thoughtful as her eyes studied me, but she kept her smile. “Well, there is a choice I have to make. One where I tell you what I see or one where I try to ease your fears. The direction I take depends on you.”

“So… the two are not mutually exclusive.”

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