Page 144 of Shâhzâdeh

“I’m only a man who sees zhe desires of his heart, mind and body in human form. So of course when zhe woman who supersedes all my senses could want is in front of me, I’m going to do what I can to claim her.”

“Can I touch you? I want to but then I get in my head thinking it might just be a tease and I don’t want—”

“I’m a grown ass man. I can more zhan handle zhe result of your touch wizout having to impose on you until you’re ready. I’ll take a zhousand cold showers and run a million miles. Zhere are solutions,eshgham.”

“So it isharamto masturbate.”

“It’s not in zheQuranso much of it is up for debate. Some say it is, others say it is onlymakrooh. Although I may not consider myself truly muslim, zhere are aspects of zhe religion zhat resonate with me because of my upbringing. My household was non denominational but one zhat paid respects to both Christianity and islam. To me, zhe issue is addiction. My mind cannot function zhe way I need to if I’m constantly chasing instant gratification zhrough masturbation. I want to be focused on the pleasure that can be derived from zhe one that He has set aside for me. Am I perfect? No. Am I virgin? No. But zhere are certain principles I adhere to. Zhat happens to be one.”

“Is it wrong if I do it?”

“You want to provide me a release,azizam?” I was enticed by the idea but she needed to verbalize how she was feeling.

“I mean in the future, I have looked up certain things and there’s too much that is conflicting.”

“I’m of the mindset zhat you do what you feel is right especially if it does not harm another. Like oral sex. I would never ask you to do somezing you would not want to. But zhe bond we have is one zhat has been blessed. Me providing you with oral pleasure exists within zhat blessing and isn’t forbidden. When allowed, I will take pleasure in tasting every inch of you. So think on what you truly want, Vanya. Your shyness will disappear once you open yourself up to me. Make no mistake about zhat.”

“I don’t want to wait.”

I took a step back and she took one forward keeping us pressed together. “We just talked about all zhis heavy—”

“But I feel lighter. I let it go. I don’t feel embarrassed with you. I guess that was why I blurted it out the way I did. I was okay with making that request to you because I knew you wouldn’t look at me funny.”

“I appreciate zhe comfort you have but are you sure?”

“Yeah. I didn’t taint the house with my words and their floating away on the water being cleansed. You make me feel beautiful—

I chuckled because I needed her to see herself through my eyes. “Zhat isn’t hard, Vanya, since you are.”

“See. I promise I will just feel all the goodness and shut off my mind. You would never lead me anywhere I wouldn’t want to go and you said we had a clean slate. I’m ready to fill it up and to be filled up.”

I ran a hand down my face because she was being flirtatious again and I didn’t want to make her feel unwanted, but I also didn’t want her to feel pressured to satisfy me. “You are really trying to get zhe dick.”

“It’s mine. I have papers on it. Now I would like to feel what I bound my soul to for the next few lifetimes.”

“Vanya—”

“You promised to build me a rocket so I could play among the stars. Tonight, I want your dick to be the rocket that launches me toward the heavens. Are you going to deny your wife,shâhzâdeh?”

I scooped her up as she laughed and made my way back toward the house. We paused at the outdoor shower so that we could cleanse our feet and not track sand inside. She slipped her hand back into mine, the trust filling her eyes again. I hated when I looked at her before, she looked hesitant. Guarded despite baring herself for me. But she looked happy now. Eager to explore with me the way I was eager to explore her. There wasn’t much more that I could ask for with all that had been revealed tonight. I led us through the house, the doors automatically locking behind us. I’d programmed her fingerprint in the morning we’d arrived so she never had to worry about being locked out.

We made our way through to the bedroom we’d been occupying and I tried not to hesitate but it was near impossible. I didn’t want her to feel pressured into anything, but she leaned over and kissed me as though to prove she was fine.

“Open your eyes for me,ziba.I need you to hear wiz your ears and see wiz your eyes zhat zhere is no one here to hurt you. To judge you. I only want to love you zhe way zhat will please every part of you. Your mind, your heart, your soul. I want to entice each of your senses to zhe point of madness until you find zhe release and relief zhat brings you comfort and peace. My only desire is to make you happy as I am charged by God and by man. Find comfort instead of fear in my desire, Vanya. I won’t ever do more zhan you want.”

“I’m not afraid, I’m nervous.” I could see the truth in her words when I looked into her eyes and I gave her my honesty so she understood we were on the same page.

“So am I.” I continued to kiss around her ankle, watching how her blush reached different portions of her body.

“Why are you nervous?”

“Did you not hear all zhe weight I carry in zhis moment? I have to keep you safe, to please you. It is my honor to be in this position but it is the culmination of many monzs of desires. Desires to win your heart, your trust. So yes, as momentous for you as zhis is, it is zhe same for me. I do not take any of my blessings for granted. Especially not zhe biggest one.”

I brushed the silk up her thighs knowing that she was completely bare beneath it. With braveness through her timidity, Vanya sat up and pulled her gown over her head before tossing it on the floor. Her curls bounced around her head like a river of molten lava burning at its highest temperature. Seeing the freckles that covered every part of her body from her ankles to the crown of her head made me smile at how perfect she was.

“I know you gave me your permission to touch you—”

“I did and I do. Do I have the same from you?”

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