Page 142 of Shâhzâdeh

Her toe made circles in the sand giving her a brief reprieve from her mind. “He was angry and we would fight. It would get physical. He wanted to marry one of the other girls in the faith. Not because he loved them, but he saw their whiteness as his… reward I guess. For being obedient. He saw being with me as a punishment and was angry that I didn’t worship the ground he walked on because he felt he was so much better than I was.”

“How old was he?”

“He’s two years older than me so he had a choice. He just didn’t exercise it. Everything he had was because of them. His house, the money he made. They were all things they’d provided him to keep him in line. And it worked. He had no issue with being a kept son even though he was basically an indentured servant. His dependence kept him in line.” Her arms were folded in front of us and I gave her body a brief squeeze to remind her that I was here.

“I couldn’t call myself a man if I sat around and allowed zhe vorks of my fazer to become zhe only thing I had to brag on. My fazer is a man who gave up riches in order to make himself into a man independent of his family. My mozer carries on the family business, but we always grow and expand it in ways zhat ensure we’ve all left our mark. Maman was one of the first to design high grade weaponry that was lighter weight so zhat zhe women in zheConsortiumhad more options in how zhey fulfilled zheir contracts. She developed zhe capsule at zhe end of our bullets to ensure zhat if zhe shot doesn’t take you out, zhe poison inside will.”

Her brows rose in delight, as it always did whenever anyone spoke about my mother. “That’s inventive.”

I chuckled because this couldn’t have been the same woman that thought we were all insane last summer. “She’s very thorough that Babette Cannon.”

“I like your mother. She’s the epitome of feminine but strong. It’s beautiful to see an example of how you can be both and one not override the other. It makes me feel hopeful.”

“My mozer might take it overboard. You can see amongst zhe mozers and even zhe wives of my friends zhat strengz comes in all forms. Yacouba’s mother was a librarian. A quiet woman who had her world flipped upside down one random night when she helped a stranger. And she became a mob wife. She’s still quiet, but all zhose books helped her carve out her space next to her husband. Exactly zhe way you will.”

“Thank you for your confidence. I didn’t have that before. My last wedding night was traumatizing. The wedding itself was something that seemed to be thrown together because it was like they knew I would run away. I was literally hustled in front of the Justice of the Peace and forced to sign. Our wedding night…Mr. Kennedy watched. Just stood there. Grunting and commanding, as though he had to ensure that we did the deed. It was humiliating to say the least. And then you factor in a husband that was disgusted to have to be there and yeah…I have issues I think.”

My heart stopped, and my vision blacked out from rage. Her ex was a piece of shit, but Mr. Kennedy was a monster. A man who wanted to believe he wasn’t a pervert because he had never touched his adoptive daughter. But this was an obsession with my wife that hadn’t abated and it made me wonder what he’d done to her that she just couldn’t remember.

“I will not put negative zhoughts into your head. But zheir deaths will be slow and torturous. We will have joy for a few weeks but zhen I will defeat every monster zhat ever dared to come for you.” I squeezed her as tightly as I could, crushing her to me. Feeling her was the only thing that gave me peace and she didn’t put up a fuss.

“I know. I knew that after the last encounter. I can’t stop you because they’re evil people and I see now there’s no saving them. I never wanted to save them, I just wanted them to leave me alone. Which again, they can’t seem to do.”

“I am shocked your ex didn’t stop him from staying.”

“It’s why I did what I did in our room. That’s how you’re supposed to be a good wife. You lay down and don’t move. You take direction and you don’t enjoy it. I think Jonathan switched it up because he was disgusted at being stuck with me.”

“He sounds like a bitch.” It slipped out and she whipped around with wide brown eyes.

“Did you just cuss? Finally. I was wondering if you would ever feel comfortable around me. You did it once before but I didn’t make a big deal out of it. But you’re right, he is a bitch.” Vanya’s delight at my cursing lessened my guilt of having done it.

“It is a matter of respect not to. And hearing zhey said ugly zhings to you makes me want to be even kinder.”

“Well, I’m giving you all my ugly and I know you don’t respect me any less. One little swear never hurt anything. I know you’re not cussin’ at me.”

“Fine. I will be better. So zhe ex—”

“Jada calls him mybrusband.”

I barked a laugh and Vanya joined in with me because as ridiculous as she was, Jada was on point. “Your brusband didn’t want to be married yet put up no fuss.”

“I think he felt like if he complained about me enough they’d let him out of it. He would run and complain to them and I received a lot of criticism for not being open to his affection. I was sure I hurt his feelings because I would cringe whenever he touched me. But nobody wants to be married to someone who openly hates them. And it was always so awkward. When I tried to have autonomy I started losing entire nights and that’s why I thought I was being drugged. It only happened a few times before I stopped fighting and just laid there.”

“Zhe number doesn’t matter. His behavior is disgusting. All of zheir behavior. Zhey hurt you. Wronged you and I wish I had done far more to zhem all than what I have. But zheir time is coming.”

She nodded and I was ready to end our honeymoon to be herBlarasian Avenger. None of this could stand.

“It’s the hypocrisy of their religion that always confused me and their actions. They will hold up these ideals of being better. Being pure. But they see people like me and you as dirty but they fall all over themselves to get closer. I guess because I was Black that I didn’t deserve the type of respect that other girls got. But even they were still not above being married off. The things I’ve seen… I’m jaded. About a lot. But my ex was worse. He couldn’t handle the fact that he was still seen as less than despite all he did.“

I let the silence settle between the two of us and didn’t want to interfere with however she was processing. My mind was running rampant on how I could completely destroy everything they held dear the same way they’d done to Vanya. They’d tried to strip her of her humanity and I would be happy to return the favor.

When the sun finally set I was drawn back to the present and my wife was completely relaxed in my arms. “How do you feel?”

“Better. I hate that my life has been a giant science experiment. I feel like I grew up in a zoo instead of a home. And his wife hated me.”

“Why?”

She sighed and I knew it was because she was worried how I would take her response. “Because of the attention he gave me. She thought it was unnatural but that I was the one asking for it. I wasn’t. I just wanted to have the family I thought I had when I was younger. Even when they were saying so much was wrong with me, at least out in public they were kind.”

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