Page 137 of Shâhzâdeh

“True. I must say the torture has been extensive but the culmination of seeing zhis zhrough will be more zhan pleasurable.”

I could only smile because I wasn’t exactly sure about that, but I hoped. “Only one way to find out.”

He met my smile before kissing the sense out of my head. I could only close my eyes and lose myself in the sensations he extracted from me. The way he created this feverish need within had me rubbing my body against his so that I could feel him more. In my flat feet, Xerxes had to bend slightly to reach my face. I wasn’t a short woman, but he still had me by eight inches. His hands moved from my hips, squeezed my ass firmly before bringing me into his hardness. It wasn’t the first time I’d felt it, but it was the first time I knew nothing would hold us back. I recognized the unfamiliar moisture I could feel forming between my thighs and I didn’t hesitate to rub myself more firmly against him. We mutually moaned in each other’s mouths and he pulled me even closer to him.

I broke the kiss unable to stand it any longer and walked back toward the bed. I laid down pulling the bottom of my nightgown up to my waist and stared at the ceiling. My leg bounced slightly from nerves and anticipation.

“Vanya?”

I sat up on my elbows to look at him wondering if there was something about my body that he didn’t like. My freckles were all over including my stomach and my legs. His dick was still hard, attempting to push through the boundaries of the fabric of his pants. But his face was filled with confusion. “Do you want me to turn over instead?”

“I am trying to understand—”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Should I…” I gestured toward the tent in his pajama pants before sitting up. It’d been so long but I should’ve known or at least should’ve asked if he wanted me to help him prepare. I crawled back toward him on the bed reaching for his waistband as he watched me with a mix of emotions on his face. “I know you won’t say mean things but…please don’t finish on my face. I don’t like it.”

My hands went to his waistband when his fingers wrapped around mine stopping me. I looked up and his eyes were hard and furious.

“Mean zhings? Vanya, stop.”

“What is it?” I leaned back resting my butt on my calves as I watched him watching me.

“You cannot say tings like zhis and expect me to proceed without having questions.” I blinked and then shook my head because I wasn’t trying to ruin our night together.

“But I don’t want them here.”

“I don’t eizer but you have hesitations and I need to know why. And I’m not going to let a situation that has clearly changed how you feel about being intimate go unaddressed. Zhat wouldn’t make me better zhan zhe person who caused you harm.”

“I’m fine, I just want to get through—”

He pointed at me in a way that was nonthreatening but I could tell would still leave me vulnerable. “And zhat is exactly why I won’t. Zhis is an experience. One I want to be pleasurable. But we cannot have ghosts of zhe past lingering, Vanya. Clean slate.”

“He would want me to prepare him for sex but sometimes he would finish on my face and call me a whore. Stupid.. really gross stuff.”

“Bâyad bemire(He must die)! I will cut out his lying tongue and shove it up his ass.”

The romance of the moment was gone his anger taking up all the space in the room.

“This is why I didn’t want to talk about this. It’s the past.” I went to put my hands on his shoulder but he stepped back, which crushed me.

“Zhat can influence us now. I won’t allow zhat to happen. I don’t want anyzing else tainted wiz zhem. You’ve got to let me in. Because not doing so, not sharing zhis is letting zhem win. Forgive me,eshgham, I need a minute. I hate for you to zhink my anger is directed at you, but I am rage-filled. Allow me a minute and we can talk when you’re ready.”

“That’s it? You’re going to leave?” I didn’t want him to leave but I didn’t want us to argue about them tonight. The hopes I’d been feeling about overcoming this were gone. The lust had abated and confusion that had never existed in our relationship was now thick between us.

“I will never touch my wife when I’m angry. Zhat links zhe pleasure I receive from you wiz zhe feeling of violence and I will never conflate zhe two. Your body is not a vessel I will ever use for anything other zhan our mutual pleasure. I love you, Vanya Mahdavi Cannon. Give me a minute and then we can talk.”

He bent down and kissed my cheek before he walked out of the bedroom.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Pagosha

XERXES

MY SECOND DAY being married and I was already questioning my ability to be a good husband.

Well, the ability to be to her what I wanted to be.

I had known for months that Vanya’s first marriage wasn’t a good one. I’d known there was some type of manipulation by their adoptive parents that basically forced them to get married. Having seen the way he behaved toward her, I assumed that he was eager to get her back out of some type of narcissistic, obsessive love.

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