Page 87 of Goalie Lessons

“What?”

I bite my tongue, trying to level my voice. “She just resigned as your nanny. She said the two of you didn’tmesh.So, I’m just wondering what happened to make her feel that way?”

“Of course.” Callie rolls her eyes, but I don’t miss the note of hurt in her voice. “Of course you just assume thatIdid something!”

I pause, knowing, just like I did the other day with Astrid, that I’m digging myself into a hole. And just like before, I can’t seem to stop myself from doing it anyway. “Well? Did you? Do you know how hard it’s going to be to find someone else on such short notice?”

“No,” Callie spits, grabbing the door. “It’s not my fault you don’t actually want us—you just want to pawn us off, like everyone else!”

With that, she slams the door in my face. I stand there, stunned, trying to figure out why in the world I thought that approach was going to work. Then, I turn toward the stairs, and catch a smaller, softer face peering up at me from the room next door.

“Athena—”

But she bursts into tears, closing her door on me, too.

***

“Obviously, Leo’s younger, and a boy, so I don’t know how much different things are,” Maverick says, his hand loose around his Gatorade. “But maybe you could have tried to be a little gentler with her?”

We’re in the practice facility, where Maverick and the other guys found me in front of the puck cannon, taking shot after shot, and cursing at myself for each one I miss. They got me off the ice, and now we’re sitting at a table in the cafeteria, their eyes on me.

“Yeah,” I sigh, letting my shoulders slump. “I realize that, now. I’m just afraid that them being with Ruby is going to make Callie feel even more like I’m pawning her off on someone else.”

Maverick waves his hand. “She loves having them, shopping for girls. It’s not pawning them off if she’s having the time of her life, right?”

It makes sense, but Callie doesn’t normally make sense to me.

“Is there…something else going on with you?” Luca asks, and for a second, I wonder if maybe, through Sloane, either he or Callum knows something about what’s going on with Astrid.

Whom I haven’t seen since she walked out of that hotel room.

A voice inside me says I should keep this to myself—that it’s none of their business, that I shouldn’t burden them with it, but honestly, it feels nice to let some of it out. At least I can do so without revealing who it is.

“I’ve been…seeing someone,” I admit, wrapping my hand around my water bottle, the smooth plastic grounding me to the moment. “And it’s kind of a mess right now.”

I tell them about what happened between Astrid and me without dropping her name. I tell them about me blurting out that I love her and her scrambling to leave. I omit the part about our arrangement, try to change any details that might lead them to her.

When I finish, Maverick sucks in a breath through his teeth, raising a hand to rub it along the back of his neck. “That’s rough. Saying you love her like that.”

“I think it’s confident,” Callum says, shaking his head, his curls rolling over his forehead when he does. “You’d be surprised how much damage you can do keeping something like that a secret.”

“But do you think she feels the same about you?” Luca asks, leaning in, his eyes intent on me, like my answer means something more than what it is.

I feel the weight of their gazes on me. “I…don’t know. She’s smart, she knows what she wants. But I’ve been getting hints that she might have feelings for me. I think, maybe she doesn’t want to admit her feelings to herself?”

Callum and Luca glance at one another, and I bite the inside of my cheek, hoping they’re not communicating silently with one another, agreeing that it's Astrid I’m talking about.

“I hate when they do that,” Maverick mutters, rolling his eyes, then fixing them on me. “You want my advice? Go to her. Tell her what you want. Get an answer.”

“No way.” Callum shakes his head. “You need to give her some space. Let her decide when to come back to you.”

I turn to Luca. Team captain. A natural leader. Plus, maybe three opinions will be enough for me to form my own, figure out what I’m going to do about this whole thing.

But Luca looks like he’s partially checked out of the conversation. Clearing his throat, he opens his mouth to speak, but before he can say anything, Maverick’s phone buzzes.

“Sorry,” he says, glancing up at us. “Have to take this—it’s Ruby.”

He stands, bringing the phone to his ear, but he’s still close enough that we can all clearly hear Ruby’s voice coming through the speaker, shriller and more panicked than I’ve ever heard it.

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