Page 81 of Goalie Lessons

All pretenses of a teaching moment are gone. She’s not even trying to coach me anymore—even typical words likeharderandfasterseem out of her reach. Instead, we’re suspended above reality, every move right, every place our bodies touch the perfect pressure and friction.

“Grayson,” she whispers again, my name soft on her lips just before she comes, not hard and fast, but languidly, slowly, her walls tightening around me and holding me there so I slide over the edge too, releasing into the condom.

We hold onto each other like there are two of us and only one parachute.

When I pull back and look into Astrid’s eyes, I think it and think it, but don’t say it.

I am so fucking in love with her.

***

Later, when the room service dessert is gone and Astrid is cuddling into my side, I find myself talking.

“I got a call from the Welch family lawyer.”

She sits up a bit, eyes widening. “Is everything okay?”

I reach up and tuck her hair behind her ear. “Yeah—I mean, nobody is hurt. But Kayla Welch—their aunt—wants to take back custody of them.”

Astrid’s brow draws together. “I thought she was in jail?”

“I guess the charges were dropped, and she went into a rehabilitation facility, or something like that. But it doesn’t matter. She’s clearly not fit to take care of them—she couldn’t handle it the first time.”

Astrid’s jaw tics, and she sits up further, drawing her arms and legs in a bit closer to her body. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m obviously not a social worker or anything, but from what I understand, it’s best for children to be with their family.”

Something inside me is bristling, like what she’s really saying is that I’m not good enough to take care of Athena and Callie, and they might as well go back.

“Even when that family member is a druggie?”

“Come on, Grayson.” She shakes her head. “That’s harsh. Drug addiction is a mental health crisis. Just because Kayla has made some mistakes doesn’t mean she should be reduced to a word like that.”

I pause, take a deep breath. “I’m sorry. It’s just…what if the girls go back to her, and she hurts them again?”

Astrid pauses, looks up to the ceiling for a moment. “I think there’s a lot to be said about found family, Grayson. But there’s also something to be said aboutrealfamily. Kayla was there when those girls were born. They share blood. There’s something about that…in a lot of cases, it just feels invaluable.”

“I don’t know.” I pick at the duvet, running a loose thread between my fingers. “I have all sorts ofrealfamily, and I just don’t really feel like I fit in with them.”

The situation with my parents doesn’t feel like it fits in anywhere. There are some people I know who have great relationships with their parents—like Luca and Sloane—and some people who had horrible home lives—like Maverick or Callum.

It’s not like my parents were ever abusive or mean toward me. It’s also not like we’re best friends. My dad has always been a football guy, and when I chose hockey instead, it felt like the final tether between us broke. My mom loves me because I’m her son, but I didn’t stick around home, or go into the family business, so she doesn’t see me as much as she sees my brother. Essentially, I know my family loves me, but I’m not entirely sure they like me. I don’t think we would be friends without those ties.

But Josh Welch just met me, and loved me. He chose me out of all the guys on the team to be his best friend. And now I can return the favor by choosing his girls.

I tell Astrid all that, then add, “If Kayla didn’t choose them the first time, what’s to say that she’s going to choose them now?”

“Nothing,” Astrid admits, then she opens her mouth like she’s going to speak, but doesn’t. She closes it, then leans back down so we’re side by side on the bed again, then reaches over to turn off the lamp on her side of the bed, plunging us into darkness.

Outside, the night is inky black. I stare up at the ceiling, at the tiny blinking red light of the smoke alarm.

“There’s nothing to say Kayla will choose the girls this time,” Astrid says, her voice small. “But I’m a firm believer that you should try to spend as much time as you can with your family while you have the chance. Because at any moment, they could be gone.”

Astrid

Ihavenevertoldanyone about this before. Not like this, not the same way that I just open my mouth and start to speak, the words tumbling out of me so fast I couldn’t stop them if I wanted to.

In the dark of this hotel room, I lay next to Grayson and tell him about the worst thing that ever happened to me.

Growing up wealthy, you think nothing bad can ever really happen to you. Lots of people suffer because they don’t have money, and I recognized that, even as a kid. My parents were big into volunteering, working with the less fortunate. So, I saw how poverty—or even just having less—could fuck up your life. And I naively thought that I was safe.

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