Page 35 of Falling for Provence

Ellie swallowed hard. ‘Of course.’

‘I don’t want to take Theo. I know he was too young to remember being taken in to see his mother for the last time but just the smell of a hospital seems to be enough to scare him.’

He was already scared. Ellie didn’t know how much English Theo could speak or understand, but the way he was clinging to Julien’s legs made it seem as if he thought his only remaining parent was about to disappear forever, and it broke her heart.

She couldn’t do this.

But she couldn’tnotdo it, either. Julien needed her. He was asking for her help.

Ellie pushed a rising bubble of fear down as hard as she could. ‘I’ll look after him.’

This was another of those moments, wasn’t it?

Like the one when she had been caught by the stone mosaic flowers and knew that she needed to stay in France. When she’d opened her heart to caring for a little stray dog. And, only minutes ago, when she’d decided she might be brave enough to learn to drive on the wrong side of the road?

This was another challenge she might look back on as a crossroads that helped define the direction she was capable of taking for the rest of her life, but even though this one was so much bigger than any of the others – or possibly evenbecauseof that – Ellie wasn’t about to let herself back down.

‘I’ll keep him safe,’ she added quietly.

It was a promise to herself as well as Julien. Shecoulddo this.

The relief in his eyes was as palpable as a physical touch. There was admiration there as well, because he had to know that this wasn’t easy for her. He crouched to talk to Theo, and she could hear reassurance in the soft, rapid stream of French. ButTheo’s big brown eyes filled with tears, and his response was all too clear. He didn’t want to be left alone with Ellie.

‘Noo, Papa. Prends-moi aussi, Papa. Prends-moi…’

Julien’s tone in response was firmer this time, and Ellie’s heart broke all over again as she saw the way Theo bravely let go of his father to let him leave and stood there with his head down making no further protest.

‘I’ll get back as soon as I can, but I don’t know how long it will be,’ Julien told her quietly. ‘If it gets late or you need anything, take him back to our house, and he can go to bed. I’ll leave the kitchen door open.’

‘Okay.’

‘And…’ It was obvious Julien wanted to leave as quickly as possible. He’d probably be running as soon as he got to the terrace, to get through the orchard and paddock and back to where his mother was waiting for him, but he hesitated for a heartbeat longer. Long enough to touch Theo’s curls again. And then to touch Ellie’s cheek. A brush of his fingers that was as soft as his words as he turned away.

‘…merci mille fois. Thank you so much.’

So… here she was.

With the small boy who didn’t want to be here with her.

The first child she’d held in her arms since she’d lost her own son, that evening when she believed she was saving him from being trampled by the donkeys. The child who’d called her‘Maman’. And, while remembering that deepened the crack in her heart, it also gave Ellie strength, because making comparisons between Theo and Jack wasn’t going to happen.Jack had only been six months old when he died. He’d never called her ‘Mammy’.

He never would…

That sting would have been more than enough to reduce Ellie to a sobbing wreck not so long ago, but, right now, it felt as if she could simply step back from the thought. That she could pull a mental curtain so she wasn’t even tempted to peer through that particular window. She had a small boy in front of her who might be astonishingly brave for his age, but he was still too frightened to lift his head and look at her. Ellie wasn’t about to make this experience any worse for Theo by dissolving into tears herself.

‘Are you hungry, Theo?’

Theo didn’t move. Ellie opened the little fridge. He might not understand what she was saying but, if she showed him some food, perhaps he’d be interested? Pascal was certainly interested. Ellie smiled as her little dog trotted into the kitchen and sat down to watch what she was about to take out of the fridge. She knew he was hoping that cheese might be on the menu.

Theo’s head moved as he looked at Pascal. Pascal looked up at Theo and wagged his tail. He wriggled closer and licked the boy’s hand. Ellie heard Theo’s gasp as he pulled it away, but, watching out of the corner of her eye, she saw him slowly lower his hand a moment later so that Pascal could lick it again. She remembered what Julien had told her when she’d thanked him for looking after the donkeys.

‘Theo was very taken with the animals when we arrived and… and he needed something to be happy about…’

He needed something to be happy about again, didn’t he? Ellie bypassed the cheese in the fridge and took out a couple of carrots.

‘Shall we go and say “hullo” to Coquelicot and Marguerite? And give them a carrot?’

Theo finally looked up at her. His face was still very serious and his eyes wary, but he’d understood something.

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