Page 9 of The Twins

“Ok.” He leaves me lying on the floor of the hallway, entering the large conference room. Everyone’s eyes are on me from inside the room, as I roll to my side and then stand up. Deciding to push aside Vandy and the unwelcome feelings she invokes, I stride confidently into the room and take my seat.

Moshe smirks, “You good, buddy?”

“Start the fucking meeting.” I mutter; my eyes trained on the opposite wall.

“Yak, you called us in here. Go ahead.”

From next to me, Yak taps the tablet in his hand, activating the touch screen hanging on the wall. Everyone is now able to see what he’s doing. He pulls up an email thread. I’m apparently slow today, because before I’ve had a chance to get far, Ezra is already on his feet, roaring.

“Sit down.” In the blink of an eye, Moshe goes from playful to serious, the Avraham Avinu taking over. Ezra is steaming, but he sits back down in his chair. Uncle Aaron, his father, puts a consoling hand on Ezra’s tense shoulder. I observe their interaction, then look at my own father. Steven Frenkel is an imposing man, a few inches shorter than me, but we’re built similar. Broad shoulders, torso of solid muscle, resting asshole face. However, the stark difference between us is compassion, empathy, and selflessness. It’s not that I wouldn’t put myself in front of a bullet for any of these men, not to mention the women and children, it’s just…Dad gives not just his body in the protection of others, he gives his wisdom, his heart, his time and patience. I swallow hard at the reminder that I am not my father and will always fall short of his example.

He meets my eyes from across the table, and the hard look of a moment ago slips briefly as his eyes soften, and he smiles at me knowingly. He points to his watch, and I know he’s gonna make me talk to him. I don’t want to, don’t want to be vulnerable, even with my father. But I think I need more than Ruthie’s help if I want to be a better man and father. A man worthy of someone like Vandy.

“She’s mine!” Ezra is barely controlling himself.

Moshe dips his chin, “We know. And she’s Kosher Nostra. We’ll protect her, Ez.”

Yak, undisturbed by Ezra and Moshe, spells it out for everyone else, “In Florida, our friend in the Cuban mafia, Diaz has heard some rumblings recently regarding Hiram Goldman’s failed flesh market. His death has put a crimp in everyone’s plans. However, it is the man who expected Dorothy to be delivered to him, that has put a renewed bounty on her. Currently, we are unable to determine who that man is. Everything Diaz sent me is word of mouth.”

Moshe frowns, his eyes cold as he considers our next move. “Yak, Tev, track down who this fucker is, I want eyes and ears on him asap. Also, do your thing online to follow the bounty and neutralize anyone dumb enough to take the contract. Increase protection details for all the Goldman girls, I wouldn’t put it past anyone to use the other sisters as leverage to get to Dorothy. Add another guard or two to each of the BABs.”

Zilv groans, stupidly interrupting his brother, “Not you too! Fucking Tovah and herbadass bitches. Ridiculous!”

Uncle David leans forward to look at his son, “Membership application denied?”

Zilv lifts one shoulder, his eyes on the table. “Twice.” Everyone laughs at Zilv, even Ezra.

The moment of levity passes, Ez takes a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling with the effort. “I won’t lose her…I won’t survive.” That sentiment, the defeated tone of his voice hits me in the solar plexus. The devotion he feels for another human being, the way he truly believes their souls entwine…I’ve grown up listening to the older men of the family wax on poetically about their women and children. But to witness everything Moshe went through with Seril, Zeppo and Ruthie, Jonah and Harper, Ezra and Dorothy, it’s starting to click.

Perhaps Tov and I have missed out, unable or unwilling to trust our soft underbellies to someone else. I wouldn’t consider these men weak; in fact, if I look at it objectionably, they are stronger. They truly have something to live for. Would it be so bad?

Arlo. I must live for him. Like that woman said in the group, I am his protector, his advocate, his shield against the world. Vandy’s smile flashes through my mind, the way her face lit up when she held Arlo and played with him. I’m a big man, I can be her shield, too.

“The Kosher Nostra will stand in front of Dorothy.”

Ezra deflates slightly in his chair, “I know. But we can’t predict what this person will do, or how far his reach extends.”

Moshe nods in understanding, “Then we remain vigilant until we are able to eliminate the threat.”

We cover a little more business before Moshe dismisses us. My mom took Arlo when we got home to feed him, bathe him, and put him to bed for me. And after the day I’ve had, I’d like to pour myself some scotch and crawl into bed.

“You alright, son?” Dad asks once we’re out of earshot of everyone else. “Seems like you got a lot on your mind?”

“Hard to breathe.” I rub my chest, keeping my face blank as my father looks at me with concern.

“Does your chest hurt?”

“No. You know Tovah visits the underworld every full moon. The scent of sulfur she brings back with her gets stronger every trip.”

“I’m always up for a good Tovah is the devil joke, but don’t deflect. It’s cowardly.” I toss a glare his direction as we walk side by side to my suite. He sighs, “Tevye, your mother and I love you and your sister. And joking aside, we are proud of you both. You two always felt this need to stand apart, distance yourselves from others, and your mom and I didn’t try to stop you, knowing you did what you felt you had to do. But…it’s alright to let people in. People move away, they fall out of touch, romance fizzles away, and everyone dies eventually. It’s the impact they have on our lives that remains. You may not believe yourself capable of love, however, your actions would indicate otherwise.”

Several thoughts float through my mind. “And…if…I put myself out there…and I’m not enough?” Fuckin’ hell. Where did that come from?

Dad’s eyes open wide, shock overtaking his features instantly. He blinks at me several times, then schools his face to appear normal again. “Then they aren’t enough for you. You don’t have to settle. You and Tovah deserve to be loved and treasured just like anyone else.”

“Even Zilv?” I can’t help but joke, not a fan of the crawling sensation under my skin from the heavy discussion.

Dad chuckles, “Even Zilv. I love you, Tev.” He puts his hand on my shoulder just outside my door. “And I’ve seen the effort you’re making with Arlo, and I’m so damn proud of you. Your situation isn’t ideal, it isn’t easy. Not to be a cliché, but it isn’t how many times we get knocked down, it’s how many times we get back up.”

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