Page 34 of The Twins

Yakov sits behind his desk, hand on the mouse of his computer. My steps stutter when I realize he has a visitor already.

“I can come back.”

“No, it’s alright. Come in.” He motions with his mouse hand to one of the chairs in front of his desk. His other hand runs up and down Sophia’s back as she sleeps in his lap. Yak is not as tall as me, but he is a big guy. And Sophia Goldman is not short like her sister Dot. Yet, curled up in his lap fast asleep, you’d think she was a child. And not in her mid-thirties.

“I do not wish to disturb her.”

Yakov glances down at the woman in his arms and smiles fondly. “Since the shooting…she hasn’t been sleeping well. For some reason, in my lap while I work is where she rests the best.”

Not forsomereason. He is the reason. I don’t mention that to him though. I don’t think he’s intentionally playing it off, but he’s an honorable man. He won’t touch her or act inappropriately when she’s vulnerable. And knowing him as I do, it probably hasn’t occurred to him that she’s liked him for quite a while. Or that he feels the same.

Security is his job. And he takes his job very seriously. The protection of the Kosher Nostra and its members is his top priority, often to the exclusion of his own wants and needs.

I’m familiar with that concept.

“I want to fuck my wife.” I blurt out, wincing when I realize how ridiculous that sounds out loud.

“Good for you,” he says chuckling. “Did you need instructions? You could ask Jonah…sex is kind of his business.”

I scowl at him and try to figure out what I want to say. “I do not wish to be broken. Iknowthat I have given those that hurt me…too much power. They took my youth, but I have given them the rest of my life on a silver platter. And now, I want to jam that platter down their throats and rejoice with my cock in my wife.” I point a finger at his face. “Do not laugh at me.”

“I’m not, I promise. I’ve just been waiting for you to figure it out.”

“Sex?”

“No, you schmuck. That you are the captain of your own life. It isn’t what is done to us, it is how we react. No one’s journey is wrong, it’s theirs alone. Everyone reaches a point when they realize enough is enough.”

“Yes. I’ve had enough. I don’t want pain and grief and anxiety and dry dick. I want my wife, and I want my life back.”

“Then take it.”

“How?”

He smirks, pointing to his phone, “Are you sure you don’t need Jonah?”

“Yak—”

“She’s lucky,” he cuts me off. “Most of the BABs are. They’ve lived in this world relatively untouched for so long. And Tovah especially. With that mouth, it’s a wonder someone hasn’t tried to kill her before.” He waves off my growl. “Someone shot her. She was less than an inch away from certain death. She can be taken from you at any moment. And you would have let her because you are afraid to touch her.” I drop my head ashamed, knowing he’s right. “You’ve had enough.” I nod in agreement without lifting my head. “Excellent.”

I finally look up at him to see him smiling at me. He’s been my only friend besides Tovah for so long. I’ve cut myself off from everyone, not just my wife. I’m done hiding. I’m done letting fear keep me from living.

“Yak, I need help. I don’t know what to do.”

He kisses the top of Sophia’s head absently. “I have some ideas.”

Tovah 24.

“I don’t think it’s as good as the first one.”

“Tovah, stop pouting.” I glare at a smug Ruthie.

“I’m not pouting. I don’t pout. I’m a grown ass woman—”

“Who is fucking pouting.” I stomp my foot at Zeppo, but he isn’t scared. I think I might be losing my touch. Everyone knows I’m married and capable of love and now they think I’m a big ol’ softie.

“I need to maim someone.”

“No, you don’t. You need to congratulate us.” Dammit, I am a big ol’ softie. I draw Ruthie into my arms and hug her tight.

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