Page 20 of The Twins

I don’t like the knowing expression that softens her face. “Whatever you say, Tov. I’ll be back later.”

In Arlo’s hospital room, I sit next to Tev and watch Arlo’s little chest rise and fall on its own. The room is silent except for the heart monitor beeping steadily. “Other than being my twin, Vandy and Arlo are the best things that have ever happened to you.” He grunts in acknowledgement. “Lock her down. You won’t get another chance at domestic bliss.”

“I’ve asked Mom for the ring.” A satisfied smile curls my lips. Our great-grandmother’s ring is beautiful. Flawless. And one of a few things they were able to keep a hold of during World War II before they emigrated to the United States. It is perfect for Vandy. He inhales through his nose. “I never thought…I didn’t know…”

“It ain’t so bad trusting someone else with your heart.” I feel his heavy gaze on mine, but I stay focused on my nephew.

“It’s not,” he finally concedes. “When are you gonna try it?”

I ignore his question and ask one of my own. “This can happen again.” He sucks in a harsh breath at my words. “Or it could be you next time. What are you gonna do to ensure this family you’re growing is protected?”

Tovah 14.

“Why am I here?” Moshe glares at me from across the conference table at the Goldman Girl’s Realty offices.

“Witness.”

I smirk at Seril. “Honey, the Kosher Nostra ain’t keen on witnesses…for anything.” I lick my lips and look her up and down. “Though, I can’t say I mind being watched now and then.” Moshe growls angrily and it delights me, but not more than Seril’s blush.

“Fuckin’ hell, Tovah. Stop using your demonic x-ray vision to look at my wife’s tits…through my son’s body!” Moshe puts his hands over his wife and son. Seril gasps and clutches Shon tighter to her, admittedly, decent rack. They’ve grown with pregnancy and breast-feeding and I won’t lie and say they aren’t nice.

Rolling my eyes at my cousin, I glance at Blanche seated at the head of the table. My pussy clenches at the sight of her in a position of power. She’s fucking delicious like crèmebrûlée, but best in moderation. She winks at me as the doors open.

“Kinky kitten,” I greet Ruthie, smirking when her entire face blushes bright red. “How’s Zeppo treating you and your kitty?”

“Her kitty is none of your fucking business, Tovahbub.” I love riling up my cousins, especially Ezra and Zeppo. It’s my own punishment for Zeppo waiting too long to claim Ruthie. I fucked Dottie, Ezra’s woman and Blanche’s sister, before she and Ezra met. I’ve fucked Blanche too. Tried my hand at the other two sisters, but they weren’t interested. No hard feelings. Sex is sex. But sex with Ezra’s sisters-in-law would irritate him for years and that makes me all tingly.

“Why don’t we begin,” Blanche states calmly, drawing our attention. She opens one of the folders in front of her, retrieving several pieces of paper and passing them to Moshe. He and Seril quickly read them over, nod, and sign. Blanche then gives them to Ruth and Zeppo.

“What’s this?” Ruth looks at her brother and sister-in-law, then down at the papers. A few seconds later, she gasps dramatically, her hands coming to her mouth, tears instantly falling down her full cheeks. “Seril—”

Seril stops her with her free hand raised. “I would love to take credit for this, but it was Moshe’s idea. And I don’t think he’s ever had a better one.”

“Marrying you.” Moshe and Seril share a look. My stomach flips, like it usually does when the couples I’m surrounded by do romantic couple-like things. Seril cups his face, kisses him sweetly, then looks back at Ruth as she switches Shon to the other shoulder.

“Moshe,” Ruth begins in a quiet voice. “I’ve forgiven you. You don’t have to—”

“Ruth, this isn’t about that.”

“Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on that I’m supposed to be witnessing?”

Zeppo, overcome with emotion of his own, clears his throat and answers me. “Moshe and Seril have appointed Ruth and I guardians of Shon and any future children in the event of their deaths.”

“And you’re all verklempt because of it? Do you not want the crotch goblins?”

“TOVAH!” I think the windows actually rattled. I don’t know if that’s a record, but 5 people screeching my name at once is certainly up there. Even Blanche is staring at me in shock. I wink, like she did earlier.

“Of course, I’ll take care of Shon…and any others. I just don’t understand…why?” Sweet, naive Ruth. She has no idea who she is to all of us.

“Ruth, Zeppo, I can never atone for what I did, my actions, the events I set in motion. But that’s not what this is about.” Moshe rubs Shon’s back, then kisses the side of his head. “You will protect his heart, Ruth. You will nurture him, nourish his soul, teach him compassion, trust, and humility. And Zeppo will protect you both. He will stand between you and anyone who seeks to harm you.”

“With my life,” Zeppo vows.

“This seems like a no-brainer. If I ever had the misfortune to reproduce, you can bet I wouldn’t need to die…I’d just give them to Ruth as soon as my vag expelled the cock snot boogers.”

“Moving on.” Blanche shakes her head at me, sliding a pen in front of Ruth and Zeppo. “Do you consent to guardianship of the Holofcener minors in the event of Moshe and Seril’s untimely deaths?”

“I love you, Mosh.” Ruth wipes under her eyes, her lips stretching into a smile. “Seril. I’m so happy that he found you.” Ruth’s eyes fall on her sleeping nephew. I think of my little man. Arlo’s been home for almost a week. Tevye was a different man. I have never seen him so...emotionally involved. “I am,” she snuggles into Zeppo’s side, “weare honored. But…um…don’t die, ok? Like not for many, many decades.”

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