Page 7 of Sour Brew Face

“Oh my God! Did you jack off while I told you my life story?” She screeches and I cringe knowing I did just that. “I could literally hear it hit the phone!”

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t—”

“Don’t apologize. That’s fucking awesome. Either you’re hard up or just me talking got you off and I’m choosing to believe it’s the latter. Damn…I’m good.” If she was on video chat, I bet I would see her strutting like a peacock.

“It’s you, Mo. It’s definitely you.” I breathe heavily as the euphoria of release ebbs. “You turn me on like nothing ever has before.”

“That’s useful information to have.” She says evenly, causing me to laugh.

I decide to take a chance, I mean, I’ve already masturbated on the phone with her, what do I have to lose? “What about you, Mo? Are you wet?”

“Nah, my life struggles don’t turn me on.” I close my eyes and smile. She’s one of a kind.

“I meant hearing me cum?”

“Sorry, I’m too knackered to be horny. Another time.” It could sound like a brushoff, but I know she means it.

“I look forward to it.”

Her yawn is loud. “Well, I’d rather look forward to actually doing those things in person. So, reassure me of our rescheduled date before I fall asleep.”

“Tuesday. Come hell or high water—”

“Or clumsy mom.”

“Or clumsy mom, I will see you Tuesday evening, Mo at 6:30 p.m.”

“Goodnight, Mr. Bar man.”

“Goodnight, beautiful.” I click the button to end our call, but don’t move otherwise. Staring at my ceiling, I replay our conversation, chuckling. I’m in awe of her. I really am. She’s got her shit together. And to grow up like she did, to make something of life, not for others to be proud of, but for herself.

She said that her love life has been grim…I hope I’m the man to turn it around.

Langston 7.

Dropping my chin to my chest and pinching the bridge of my nose, I surreptitiously take in a deep breath and exhale quietly. “Mom, I was just there earlier today, and I didn’t see anything.”

“Well, of course, you wouldn’t if they came after you left. They probably saw you leave and decided to mess with an innocent, sweet, old in years but young at heart, woman.”

“We should really work on your self-esteem.” I mutter. “Mom, it’s probably just the wind.”

“Where do you think I live? Tornado Alley? Langston Mayes, your mother’s life is in danger and you’re reasoning your way out of helping?”

“No, mom. I’m not. I have a date. A date I already had to reschedule because you twisted your ankle—”

“So, it’s my fault.”

I sigh, loud enough for her to hear this time. “No, it’s not your fault. These things happen. However, I am not going to cancel again on her. I really like her. And its frowned upon to reschedule dates.”

“Is it frowned upon for your mother to be bludgeoned to death by a vagrant psychopath while her son is out galivanting about town?”

“That’s an oddly specific scenario, mom. And I don’t galivant.” It’s useless to argue. I’m going over to check out the weird noises. She knows it. I know it. And she knows I know it. I check the time; I need to get going to pick up Mo.

“I will be over shortly to save you from the vagrant psychopath.”

She hums, knowing she’s won. “I only pray you’ll be in time to save me.” With that she ends the call and I rest my hands on the front door and bang my head on it. I give myself 20 seconds to wallow, then I’m out the door on my way to my first date with Mo, with only a brief stop at my mother’s.

I’ll be lucky if she even talks to me again after this.

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