Page 13 of Sour Brew Face

“I’m familiar with the animal.”

“Not the animal. A bear is a burly man with maybe chest hair and is comfortable and soft. Many men and women like that type of body. And when you combine your squishiness with your intellect, kindness, and wit…it’s an enticing package.”

“And you believe I’ve enticed her?” I nod with a smile.

“I do, big guy.” He nods too, then pulls his phone out of his shirt pocket.

“Ok, so is that why she sent me this?” I make the mistake of looking at the screen and then howl as I shield my eyes.

“Dude, what the fuck?” I bat his hand away and only open my eyes when I hear the phone clatter to the ground. “If someone sends you a…risqué photo like that, you don’t go around showing it to other people. And if she sent you a photo of herself half-naked and begging for your hands, why didn’t you lead with that? And first of all, why are you talking to me and not at her place docking the skin boat in tuna town?”

He scrambles to grab his phone from the floor and stands up too quickly. He falls into the wall at his back and closes his eyes. “Shit. She sent this over an hour ago, should I still go over?”

I stand up and round my desk, turning him around and pushing him out of my office. “Yes!Run, Forest, Run.Like the wind, Bullseye!” I wince when he bumps into the table that houses my lab computer. “Dave, remember, no glove, no love! God speed, my child!” Pulling my cell out of my pocket, I send a quick text to Amelia.

Mo:Incoming.

Amelia:Thank you for helping, Mo. My teddy bear is too sweet for subtleties.

Mo:Absolutely nothing subtle about the photo you sent him.

Amelia:OMG! He showed you?

Mo:He did, your breasts are spectacularly perky, you should be proud.

Amelia:Awe, thanks, that’s so nice of you to say. Still on for drinks tomorrow?

Mo:I’m not sure if we should…after seeing your waxed honey pot, I’m reevaluating my sexual orientation.

Amelia:So, it doesn’t resemble a Bassett hound?

Mo:Yours reminds me of a pig’s cloven hooves.

Amelia:I’m not sure that’s better. Also, I don’t know that we should be friends anymore.

Mo:You shouldn’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answers to.

Amelia:Lucky for you, I just heard Dave pull into my driveway. Oh shit! He just fell out of the car because he forgot to unbuckle. Ahhh! I really like him!

Mo:Happy Humping!

Putting my phone away, I pop a squat at my lab chair and pull on a new glove, my safety goggles, and turn to my monitor. All in a day’s work.

Langston 12.

There’s a new thrum of excitement coursing through me as I pack up the last of our picnic lunch. It’s corny and cheesy I know, but I want to surprise Mary Opal, give her things she’s never had…show her how I feel without coming on too strong.

I’ve had a few relationships over the years, but they always fizzled out after a couple of months. And it’s not like I’ve been celibate; I do run a bar and have ample opportunity to meet women.

With Mo…instead of my immediate attraction waning as the days go by, it intensifies to a distracting degree. And each day, each hour is more difficult than the last to focus on anything but her.

My phone rings, thankfully, bringing me out of my head. I groan when I see it’s my mom.

“Hey, mom, I’m just heading out the door.” I answer, throwing the insulated bag over my shoulder. The blanket and other picnic paraphernalia are already in my trunk.

“Oh, good. I’ll get my shoes on and I’ll be ready when you get here.” My feet freeze on the spot. Did we have plans? No, I would have remembered. Or maybe Mo is more distracting than I thought.

“Uh…”

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