Page 53 of Chomp's Challenge

“Mate, my heart is so full, I fear it might burst.”

A tender smile curls her lips. “Enjoy it. I know I am.”

Oh, we will. Me, Gator, and my pregnant mate. After all, our forever begins now.

My gaze collides with my mother’s, and the happy tears I see are all I need to feel complete.

Peanut

The hardest part of today is watching my brother celebrate his upcoming bundles of joy. It’s already hard enough with Kodiak having a son, but now Chomp and his mate are adding three babies to the mix. My heart stutters in my chest, nearly bringing me to my knees. I am happy for both of my brothers and their mates, but there’s an ache in my soul because of my past.

It’s not one that any of the brothers know since Spike never insisted that we share why we came to Yukon Bluff. Still, for all the years that I’ve been a member, with all the single brothers around, that ache was more like a dull throbbing. But now, with three more babies on the horizon, it’s as painful as it was the day it happened.

I can’t. I just… can’t. I walk toward Spike, words forming and rearranging themselves in my head as I try to figure out how to tell my president that I need to leave. I don’t know if I’ll ever come back, either, because I’m too broken to be able to keep up my facade of being happy for the little families. What if more brothers end up finding their mates? What then? Maybe it’s better if I just go off on my own and live a life of solitude. It’s not what I really want since the Shifted Misfits MC took me in and gave me a new family, but having to watch the kids grow up? It’s not something I can deal with now, if ever again.

“Spike? I need to go,” I state once we walk off to the side, away from the celebration.

“Why, Peanut? What’s going on?” he asks with concern.

As a dragon shifter, he’s prone to wanting to hoard things, and I feel as though the club gives him immense satisfaction since he’s brought together a group of misfit shifters who don’t belong anywhere else and created a family. He’s done the same with our businesses, constantly adding more to what we’re already handling, which, of course, increases our coffers.

None of us are hurting for money whatsoever. I can easily take what I’ve saved and quietly live off the grid for the rest of my life. While I’d miss my brothers and the friendships I’ve built, it’s probably safer for everyone.

“I just need to leave,” I insist, unwilling to share my private pain.

You’re going to have to let him in some time, my elephant whispers. Maybe he can help us.

“What if I send you out to start looking into that list we got from Jerry?” he asks. “We’ll cover the gym for you, so you won’t have to worry about that. It might be a long shot, but it would be great if we were able to help those women reclaim their lives, wouldn’t it?”

“Like a nomad?” I question.

“Yeah, although it won’t be a permanent thing, Peanut,” he warns. “And at some point, I’m going to want to know what’s going on with you.”

“I understand.”

Maybe I’ll just drive my bike over a cliff because exposing all the raw parts of my life that I’ve pushed down for so long isn’t something I want to do at all.

“And I think Sly needs to go with you,” he muses, stroking his beard. “He’s got the IT skills to help you track some of these people down so you’re able to formulate a plan.”

I shrug. As long as I have my bike and the open road, I’m fine with having someone along for the ride. At least if something happens to me, he can get word back to the club. With my decision made, I ask, “When can we leave?”

“As soon as you’re packed,” Spike replies. Reaching out, he places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. “Just remember, we’re here for you, Peanut. No matter what.”

I wish it was enough. Some pain just runs so deep, and it eats at you until it nearly consumes you.

I’m not sure there’s anything that will ever change that.

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