Page 65 of High Roller

“Don’t be sorry. Just tell me what’s going on.”

Victor steps back and shakes his head. “I’m getting carried away is what’s going on, and it ends now. I’ll have you transferred to one of the other owners.”

With that, he turns and walks out, and I stand in the center of his office shocked and without my panties.

What the fuck just happened?

I wait a few minutes before I step out of the room and head for the exit, not bothering to ask Victor about my underwear or checking on Lili.

In the car, I drive to my apartment and unlock the door. Sabrina is sitting on the couch watching TV. She mutes it when I sit next to her and offers me her box of Chinese food.

“No thanks. I just need to be quiet for a few minutes.”

“Need to talk about anything?”

I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes. “Maybe. Things are getting confusing for me where Victor is concerned.”

My roommate pats my shoulder. “I get that. I’ve seen the way you look at him, and I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking.”

My eyes widen and I shove her shoulder as I lean back to stare at her. “Why haven’t you ever said anything?”

She laughs. “Would you have listened?”

It’s a fair question. I don’t tell her that, though.

And then there are the feelings for Lili that I can’t even talk to Sabrina about because none of the other club members know who she is or that she’s staying at the club.

Still, Sabrina is a lot more experienced in complex relationships than I am. She’s polyamorous and in a web of open relationships with at least three other people I’m aware of, and those three people all have other partners besides her. It’s so confusing that they use a complex calendar to keep track of schedules.

“There’s also someone else I have feelings for that is confusing me. A woman.”

Sabrina puts her hand on her heart and flutters her lashes. “It’s about time you admitted to being into me.”

I laugh and roll my eyes. “I could never keep up with you.”

Sabrina chuckles and squeezes my arm. “OK. Being serious now. Who is she?”

“I just met her, and things are… complicated.”

“Is it the woman whose leash you had in your mouth the other night?”

My face flames. I did not realize Sabrina was in the room that night. I figured she was off playing with Tyson while he was in town.

“Yes, but part of what makes it complicated is I can’t talk about her. I’ve honestly already said too much. The other complicated part is that I think Victor is into her too.”

Sabrina nods. “I get it. No more questions about who she is. Just tell me about your feelings.”

“What are you, my therapist?”

“No. But you need one. Especially if you’re going to get into multiple relationships.”

“I said nothing about multiple relationships, woman. Been there, done that.”

Sabrina laughs. “Sorry. Not everyone is wired the way I am. Still, even just choosing which path to take can be easier with a therapist in your corner.”

She’s entirely right about this. I’ve always intended to be good about my mental health and find a therapist to help me process some things I’ve been through, but I’ve never found a good one that I vibe with, and that seems like an important part of the process. Not to mention therapy is expensive. Although health care laws are finally changing, and I may be able to get my insurance to cover part of the cost.

I point to the TV, eager to change the subject. “What are you watching?”

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