Page 105 of Unfolding Ethan

Ethan

The weather was bleak today. Dark gray clouds hovered over the sun. Everything felt gloomy and gray and . . .dull. Like sunshine was missing.

I chuckled weakly, shaking my head, and rolled up from my cold, empty bed. It was ironic howmysunshine was also missing.

Like a jolt, my brain yelled at me, scolded me to stop it. Stop thinking abouther.

Closing my eyes, I controlled my anger and when I opened my eyes, my cheeks were stained with tears. A rush of emotions surged through my body and I didn't know what to feel. It was hard to even breathe whenshe, my oxygen, wasn't with me. By my side.

If she were still here, she would be grinning at me, dimples poking her cheeks and pulling me back to bed just for five more minutes, which would turn to an hour.But she isn’t here. She’s gone.

"Ethan!"

A knock came from my door, making my heart jump.Is that her? Did she knock on the door?She'll be disappointed because my room wasn't organized as before, and I had removed our pictures because it hurt too much.

"Honey, are you awake?" And just like that, everything crumbled down to pieces.

Why do I do this to myself?She wasnotgoing to come back.

I opened the door after clearing my thoughts and wiping the tears. "Morning, Ma." I tried to smile but failed miserably.

Her wide, lovely brown eyes drowned into an emotion I’d been getting the last three months;sympathy. I fucking hated it. I wanted to scream.

“Love, you didn't sleep? This is not good for you.”

My hoarse voice hardened. "I don't care. I can't sleep. I'll be ready in ten. Can't miss the flight." I shut the door before she could say anything.

Swallowing the lump, I sighed and walked into the bathroom, ignoring my miserable dull face. I looked at the empty shelves where she used to keep her coconut body wash and shampoos. My unused razor she always used and flaunted her legs to me when she did, begging me to feel her baby soft skin. How I used to brush my hands on them and tickle the soles of her feet making her laugh—

Shit. Making her laugh was one of the best things I ever did.Why did she do it, then? Why did she leave me?

Growling, I punched the mirror, which broke into several pieces like a web of a spider under my fist as throbbing pain stung my knuckles. I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and finally opened my eyes, looking at my broken reflection.

Shaking my head, I wiped the stray tear with my bloodied hand and took a quick shower.She's not going to come back.

???

"Is Eve coming with us?" I asked, keeping my empty plate in the sink.

Mom smiled. "Yeah, she's still asleep, but you can kiss her goodbye."

I nodded, picking up my suitcases and luggage, placing them outside the apartment. My mothers walked out, locking the door and cradling sleeping Eveline.

I walked past the locked door of her home and looked away, clenching my fist and jaw. After reaching the parking lot, I packed all of my luggage in the car when Ma appeared beside me, keeping my duffle bag in the car.

"You know she won't come back, right? Shecan'tcome back."

"Yes."

I heard her sigh. "Then you have to move on. She's gone."

My voice broke. "I . . . I can't, Ma. When she—”

"Um, hey, Ethan."

I froze hearing that voice and every vein in my body scorched with anger when I looked over Ma's shoulder, meeting his gray eyes.

I felt Ma squeeze my hand. "Go and talk to him."