Page 79 of The Hero + Vegas = No Regrets

“Then what are we going to talk about?” I ask. “Because I don’t want to talk about me.”

He nods. “You know what the best thing about you is?”

I groan. I really don’t want to think about me or look inwards or celebrate my finer qualities. I just want to keep drinking to the point where I can’t feel anything anymore.

“The best thing about you is how selfless you are,” he says.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. I’m sick of hearing what a great guy I am.

“But that’s also the worst thing about you.”

I choke out a laugh. “Wow, thanks, friend.”

“I mean it. Sometimes you’re so worried about everyone else’s feelings, you don’t ask for what you want.”

I tip back another gulp of wine. “Well, this isn’t one of those times. I told her what I wanted. And you’re right, it’s one of the few times I’ve ever asked for something entirely for myself. And here I am. Alone. About to file divorce papers from the only woman I ever loved. The woman I still love.”

“Fuck,” he spits out. “That fucking sucks.”

“Too fucking true that fucking sucks.”

“She doesn’t feel the same?”

I nod to the bartender, asking him to top up my glass. Of course he pours me a fresh glass. At this point, I wouldn’t care if he gave me a straw and the bottle.

“I think she does, but she doesn’t trust herself. Doesn’t think she should fully trust me.”

“Can you prove to her you’re trustworthy?”

I tell him what her father did to her and her brothers and mom. How the truth has rocked her world, undermining her trust in her father and also her mother.

“She says she needs to work through it, but there’s no endpoint to that. It’s not that I wouldn’t wait—of course I would, I’m in love with the woman. But I think the wait might kill me. The next phase of my life is going to be about what I don’t have and can’t do a damn thing about it. When I was a kid and my dad died, I cooked my sisters dinner or cleaned the house—anything to keep our family together. Yes, I missed my dad, but his death gave me purpose. I channeled my grief into something positive. But with this? What the fuck do I do, Byron? I’ve never felt so fucking helpless in my life.”

“I feel like I’ve got to have an answer for this.” He presses his fingers on his temple, like he’s channeling the spirit world. As much as I know it’s futile, I will him to come up with an answer. “I’m trying to think. Bennett did that interview inForbes, but something like that’s not going to work.”

“That’s the fucking problem! It’s not like there’s something lacking between us that’s driven her away. Efa knew she couldn’t live the life Bennett was living, so he changed. For her.”

“Right,” Byron says. “And Jules needed Leo to fight for her. To show her that he wouldn’t abandon her, even when she pushed him away.”

“Exactly. But how do I prove to Sophia she can trust me? I’ve never done anything to make her think I can’t be trusted.”

“But her dad hid things her entire life.”

That’s the problem. Her father’s lie was so deeply buried, so completely a part of her reality, that its roots are part of whoSophia is. “There’s no solution,” I say, and take another swig of wine.

Byron takes the glass from my hand. “Drinking won’t help. It will just make you depressed. I’m going to stop by the brownstone tomorrow morning at six. We’re going for a run.”

“Fuck I am.”

“Worth, this isn’t going to take you down. I won’t allow it. I’m going to see you at six.”

“Make it eight,” I mumble.

That’s why I’m here tonight. Because I know my five best friends won’t let me go under. Whether or not I knew it before I got here, that’s my biggest fear—that after everything I’ve survived in this world, losing Sophia will finally break me.

TWENTY-EIGHT

Sophia

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