Page 79 of Unmade

But it wasn’t my world. I was just an anonymous account with no profile picture, no photos of my own, and I was sitting alone on a rooftop in Arlington, across the country.

Stop. Fucking. Settling.

Take a risk.

I swallowed nervously and shook my head to myself.

What would I even say?

What I really wanted, for more than one reason, was to ask Beckett to push me one tiny step at a time. Partly because it evidently got me hugged, and I’d almost lost my shit downstairs earlier. The moment his arms had wrapped around me, I’d wanted to beg for more and for him to never let me go.

He’d held me for over a minute.

Honestly, I was beginning to believe him too. He’d said life couldn’t be about chasing adrenaline rushes, and he might be right. Something had been about to unleash within me when he’d hugged me. I’d felt something bottled up starting to rattle, like pressure reaching the point where it needed to be released. Then his stupid phone had gone off.

I pulled up my knees a bit and rested my arms around them loosely, and I glanced around the terrace. It was a nice place, but people rarely came out here. One lounge area with low-slung furniture, and two round tables with chairs. Oh, and one of those pillar ashtrays in a corner. And up above, all clear skies.

The stars were out tonight.

The early fall was bringing cooler air too.

I took a deep breath and just sat there. Traffic was a faded background noise from seven floors below. Easy to tune out. I could only see one other building, a ten-story neighbor. The glass exterior was too high to look over.

If there hadn’t been surveillance in every public area in this building, I would’ve jerked off right here. I had too many new fantasies raging in the back of my mind.

Showering with Beckett had been fucking torture.

I fell back again and threw an arm over my face. Maybe I should sleep up here and avoid running into him more tonight. I didn’t even know how to ask him for a hug, much less twice.

The door was suddenly pushed open with too much force, and I saw Beckett coming out, looking like he wanted to murder someone. I sat up once more, my heart starting to race, and I wondered what was wrong.

I’d missed that he’d changed into his regular instructor outfit, utility pants and a Hillcroft tee.

“What happened?” I asked. “Did you get briefed?” Or updated or whatever. He’d said he was going to Operator Adler’s office. She was basically in charge of his assignment now.

He cursed and kicked at a chair.

My eyebrows flew up.

“Thatstupid…son of a—” He growled and punched the nearest wall. Legit punched it. I was on my feet before I knew it. “I fucking told you, you dumb motherfucker.”

“Whoa—let’s not…put the wall in a hospital, okay?” I approached him from behind and carefully put a hand on his arm, and I was ready for anything. In case he instinctively got defensive. “What’s wrong?”

He sucked in a breath and pinched the bridge of his nose, and he kept his back to me for the most part. Like, I could only see a bit of his front.

“I kinda wanna blame your uncle for this, but at least he was smart about it,” he gritted out.

Wait, who? What? My what? Ethan? No, wait. No, no, he hadn’t been employed here. So, um, Darius? Ryan?

“What’re you talking about?” I pressed.

He huffed and scrubbed his hands over his face.

I didn’t realize what I was doing until I watched my own hand and how it was rubbing his back soothingly. But I didn’t stop, because it seemed to be working.

“Back in the day, Darius Quinn was known for three things,” he bit out. “He was one hell of an operator. He hated people. And he used to add a discreet tattoo on his body after a particularly gruesome assignment. Real subtle—no one ever knew what the detail meant, he didn’t talk about it, and nothing could be traced back to a mission or give up sensitive information.” He inhaled deeply through his nose and let it out slowly. Then he turned around to face me, and his anger was clear as day. “From afar, it’s just some intricate design that covers a portion of his chest and rib cage. My dumbass brother I’ve idolized my whole goddamn life thought that was a cool idea.”

Uh-oh. Something told me Vince hadn’t been as smart about it, to use Beckett’s words.

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