Page 9 of Unmade

Yeah.

I let out a breath and felt some kind of boost of affection within me, and it was because this man had no idea I’d never known my dad. He probably thought I was used to seeing Jake come home every night, and we’d have dinner together as a family; he’d take me to games when he had time off… It was a nice dream. And then tragedy had struck.

Fuck.

I swallowed hard and blinked back grief for a life I’d never had.

“I should get going,” I muttered. “Thanks for talking to me.” I adjusted the straps on my backpack and started?—

“You know…I lost my big brother in Iraq,” he said. “I’m not saying it works for everyone, but it helped me feel closer to him by staying in the service.”

I chewed on the corner of my lip and eyed him warily. Was this just recruitment bullshit? Was he feeding me lies to get me to enlist? It would be their loss, honestly.

“Why don’t you come inside for a talk?” he suggested. “There’s more to the Army than shipping soldiers to the sandbox. We’re a big family, kid.”

A big family.

Family.

* * *

June 4th, 2018

“You didwhat?!” The shock was written all over her face.

I shifted uncomfortably on the couch and side-eyed Biter, the name I’d given the worst ferret alive. He better not come closer. The whole living room was decorated as a playground for those nasty little shits, and he had to sneak up on me right where I was sitting?

“Please tell me you’re joking, Leighton,” Aunt Laura pleaded.

I couldn’t tell her that. I wasn’t joking. I’d done the stupid thing. I’d struck a deal with the devil.

“You don’t get it,” I said. “I’m almost out of money. I go to bed tired, I wake up tired, I’m hungry… My whole life fucking blows, because I’m just going from one work shift to the next.”

“But that’s why I want you to livehere,” she implored. “You wouldn’t need a second job if you just took my guest room, Leighton. Your mom wanted you to follow your dreams.”

I didn’t know what to say. Any route I chose would hurt her. And fuck the ferrets, the shitty cooking, and the smell. When push came to shove, I just didn’t belong here. I had to figure out who I was—who I wanted to be, and…and I wanted to experience something that brought me closer to the dad I’d never gotten to meet. And yeah, I’d probably made the stupidest decision by picking infantry—when that should’ve been my last choice—but if I was going to do this, I wanted to do it properly.

“I’m sorry.” I cleared my throat. “I swear I didn’t jump into this. The first time they tried to recruit me, I walked away. But…” I blew out a breath and scrubbed my hands over my face. “I’m sure it’s gonna suck, but now I don’t have to worry about rent and school and bills and…whatever.”

Aunt Laura sighed and shook her head. “This is precisely what your mom didn’t want.”

I clenched my jaw, and I couldn’t help but get annoyed. “I didn’t want her to hide my dad’s history from me, but here we are.”

She had no response to that.

She rubbed her forehead and flicked me a glance filled with trepidation. “You’ve really made up your mind?”

I nodded. “I go for my enlistment processing in a few days. It’s just an overnight thing, and then I’ll wait for my ship date to basic.”

She deflated with a long breath. “Okay.”

* * *

June 18th, 2018

I could do this, I could do this, I could do this.

Maybe he wasn’t in today.

---