Page 40 of What I've Tasted of Desire

Alex didn’t respond right away. I wondered if he was actually going to answer. Did he even know? Did he have enough experience to be sure?

“More importantly,” I began again, trying to make the question easier to answer, “is there anything youdon’tlike?”

I never wanted to do anything Alex wasn’t going to enjoy. Starting a sexual relationship with him needed to be on his terms. It was forhispleasure. I was merely there to facilitate.

“I d-don’t think so.”

Okay. He wants you to take control and handle business like a man.

From his Grindr profile, I knew he was a pretty strict bottom. That’s also what he had told me by text. I literally didn’t care. If Alex wanted to fuck me, so be it. I’d let him top me every day. I didn’t think I’d love it, but the point was fulfilling Alex’s needs. His wants. His desires.

Help him out a little!

“Okay, well for example,” I started, “I’m pretty exclusively a top. You previously told me you prefer to bottom. Is that all okay?”

Talk, talk, talk. You are pathetic. Take that boy to bed and lay him down. He’s begging for it.

“Yes,” Alex agreed, giving me another coy smile.

“Good.”

As the elevator doors closed, I backed Alex into the corner and kissed his lips. Alex moaned around my tongue and hooked his arms around my waist. I kissed him deeply, lapping my tongue against his as my fingers wound through his curls. “I love your hair,” I told him as I broke the kiss when the elevator dinged.

I was still all over Alex when he glanced over my shoulder and gasped. I looked over my shoulder to see two old biddies dressed in their Sunday best and clutching their purses. They didn’t say anything, and neither did we. We all just stood there in shock, momentarily unmoving until the elevator doors eventually closed again, and we were right back at it.

Once we had gotten out on the correct floor, I stopped in front of my room. “Can I see your phone?”

He nodded and pulled it from his pocket before handing it to me. I pulled up the timer and set 10 minutes on the clock before handing the phone back. “I’m going to unlock my side of our adjoining doors. When the time goes off, I want you to come into the room, get undressed, and get under the blanket on the bed. Does that all sound okay?”

Alex’s face was already flushed. He nodded vigorously, and I kissed him in the hallway once more.

“I’ll see you soon, cutie.”

Chapter Seventeen

I hurried into my room, tossing the key card and my wallet onto the bed. The small table in the center of the room had been cleared of its previous adornment of a small decorative vase and a silk bouquet, and a dozen white candles in varying sizes and shapes now covered it.

I pulled my phone out and started an eight-minute timer to keep myself on track, then scooped up most of the candles as well as the small Bic lighter before diving into the bathroom.

I dumped the candles on the counter and opened the tap for the bathtub as hot as it would go. I made quick work of swishing some water around the bottom and sides of the tub to clear away any dirt before engaging the plug and letting the basin begin to fill.

I placed the candles all around the tub basin, a few taller ones on the counter, and began lighting them one by one.

I cursed as the metal on the pocket-sized lighter became hot enough to burn me after lighting several of them. I tossed the lighter aside and grabbed one of the taller candles I’d already lit and used it to finish the rest of them.Work smarter, not harder.That was something my Dad used to say.

I jogged back into the main area, shedding my coat and pulling the sweater I was wearing over my head as I moved. I unbuttoned my pants and hooked my thumbs inside my briefs, taking both layers off at once. I threw open the empty closet and threw the clothes inside.

You should not be naked until it’s… time.

I grabbed my duffel bag and pulled out a pair of gray sweatpants and the box of condoms I’d purchased. After my unfortunate encounter with cheap condoms at the bathhouse, I’d done some research and realized that they made condoms specifically for… larger men. I couldn't imagine it would make me like it any more than I had previously, but I at least hoped it wouldn’t feel like I was being castrated the entire time.

You fuck whores with condoms, not your soulmate. There should be nothing between you when your bodies combine.

“Alex and I haven't talked about it yet, and I need to get tested after… the incident,” I told the empty room.

My heart was beating like a jackrabbit, and I was running around the room like a mad man with no direction. I glanced over at my phone. Three minutes and 27 seconds.

“Fuck!”

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