Page 49 of What I've Tasted of Desire

He laughed. “No, what would we do for money? How would we p-pay our bills?”

Don’t you worry your pretty little head about money…

“We’d figure it out. We wouldn’t need much. Could get some chickens… sell some eggs.”

Sell some eggs?

“I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a country b-boy. I can’t even drive a car.”

“I can teach you how to drive a car, Alex. But what makes you think you would have to drive around all the time if we lived in the middle of the woods. It would be more like ATVs. Maybe a small tractor.

“A tractor,” he repeated incredulously.

“Well, yeah. Maybe.”

“I’ve never evenseena tractor in real life.”

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

I shrugged, “They aren’t terribly complicated. Wouldn't need a huge one or anything.”

Oh, for fuck’s sake.

“You’ve thought about this a lot.”

I nodded. “Yeah, that’s kind of my dream. Just to disappear with the guy I love into the middle of nowhere. Live off the land. Sounds like heaven.”

The food came out all at once, even the crêpe, but it all looked amazing.

“What do you want, Alex? What do you see for yourself?”

Alex swallowed a mouthful of strawberries and shook his head. “I guess I don’t really know.”

We paused our conversation to enjoy some of our meal. After a few minutes he spoke up. “But, if we were in a cabin all by ourselves in the middle of nowhere, who would cook amazing things like this for us?” Alex gestured to his eggs Benedict with his fork.

“I would cook for you. Or we could cook for each other. I’m pretty good in the kitchen.”

“How would we afford this cabin?”

I took another bite of my omelet. “I already have the cabin.”

His eyes widened. “Really?”

“I bought it last year. It needs some work, but it’s completely habitable. It runs on solar panels and gas. There’s even a generator for backup.”

“If it’s your dream, why aren't you there now?”

Because I’ve been waiting for you, baby.

“Well, first off, I don’t really want to be there all by myself. And I got an excellent deal on it.”

Liar. You paid well over market.

Alex went quiet for a moment, keeping his eyes low as he took a few more bites of his breakfast. He looked like he was deep in thought. I wondered fancifully if he was imagining what our lives would look like together, just the two of us.

I knew that he’d never been a particularly social person. Neither had I. There was good reason to believe that an isolated life would be as satisfying to him as it would be to me. I’d never had much use for most people, as I’d decided a long time ago they mostly brought disappointment. I would be willing to bet that Alex felt similarly.

I paid the check, and we headed back upstairs to pack up our things. It didn’t take very long to shove my clothes into my duffel bag and take one last look around the room. This space would always be sacred to me as the place where Alex and I consummated our love, so I made sure to commit every corner to memory before walking through the open door into Alex’s room.

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