Page 41 of Executive Benefits

“See, you have a far-off, whimsical look to your face.”

I laughed. “Do you hear yourself speak sometimes?”

“Yes, but you also thoroughly avoided my statement.”

“It’s a statement. You don’t have to respond.”

“Fine. Why is your face lit up like Rudolph's nose and why do you have a dopy expression?”

I swung my eyes to the ground and tried to find anything else to focus on except Mia’s eyes. When I couldn't, I looked up at her. “I think I like Nick.”

“Well, at least you're being honest with yourself now,” she snorted.

“Not because I want to be. But because you’re forcing me to be,” I whined.

“We both know you can’t be forced into anything.” I perked my brow, waiting for her to finish because I was forced to leave Buffalo to get away from the shitshow that was my professional undoing. “I already know what you’re thinking, so stuff it.” Mia put her hand up.

Then, she pointed a finger. “One: You chose to leave Buffalo.” She added a second finger. “Two: You are killing it here, with or without a guy on your arm.” She put another finger up. “Three: If you like someone, you can’t really help it sometimes. You might just want to see it through.”

She leaned into the couch. “But I’m not moving again if things go south. You’ll just have to figure out a different way to make it work.” Her eyes flicked to mine. “No pun intended, but I’m noting it because it’s clever.”

I rolled my eyes and smiled, turning my attention to the television.

Now I just had to figure out whether I was brave enough to take that step with Nick.

19

NICK

“You’ve been snapping at the staff for two days, Nick,” John said, dropping into the seat across from me. “What's going on?”

“It’s personal.” I cringed. I didn’t want to treat my team badly, and yet, I knew what John was saying was true. I’d had too much stress within the last few years, and this year wasn’t getting off to the fresh start I wanted, either.

I couldn’t believe I went to Julia’s place on New Year's Eve after she told me she already had plans. I was an idiot, which was why I deserved what I saw. I wiped my hand down my face. I couldn’t believe there was another guy there. With flowers.

Each time the memory played through my mind, I felt more and more like an idiot. We did only have sex. She wouldn’t even commit to going on a date with me. I thought she was afraid to start anything with me because she was still reeling from all the big changes in her life. Also, because she said what she was feeling for me was too much, too fast. But if she had another guy swimming around her, I didn’t want to be part of that. I’d been pissed when I saw him there, touching her, handing her flowers.My anger shot through me and was to the point where I almost jumped out of my truck and knocked him out.

But… I didn’t.

My reaction was proof that I probably wasn’t stable enough to even be in a committed relationship. And I probably was too old for her. Maybe I should just leave sex as sex.

David’s words came back to me, and I hated that he might be right. Although I’d never tell him that because he didn’t need the satisfaction. Plus, he wasn’t a relationship kind of guy. Even in his forties, he preferred to not be with another person so he didn’t have to change or compromise.

That said a lot about his character, but I did get married and I did change and compromise, and it got me back to the same place he was at, except he didn’t have commitment baggage, although he had a host of other kinds of baggage. If he didn’t have anyone to share it with, wasn’t that less selfish than pushing issues and worries onto another person?

Even though I didn’t want to be the guy who just had sex for the sake of sex. But maybe it was a way that gave both Julia and me permission to move forward.

I really did want to move forward with her, though.

John moved, reminding me that he was still there, and I got caught up in my thoughts again. “I’m sorry. I'll apologize to them after my meeting. I might need a bit of a break after this, though. I need to resituate my thoughts, headspace, and stress levels.”

“Not a problem. They all know you’re a good boss, and most of them are just concerned for you. Of course, there are a few who are afraid of you now.”

I scoffed at his comment and a slight smile popped onto the corner of my mouth. “Thanks,” I said.

A knock rapped over the door, and I scrunched my eyes closed. Having Julia here was going to make it harder for me to work through my feelings about her.

She came in without being invited, although it wasn’t a problem because she was used to just walking in. My attention snapped to her. “We’re in a meeting,” I clipped.

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