I was going to work it out for myself.
25
NICK
Iturned my back as she walked out the door. I didn’t want to watch her walk away. I rubbed my hand over my eyes and wiped it down my cheek. It was fucking poetic. I scoffed at the pun.
I didn’t know how I hadn’t seen it before, but now that the ache in my chest was there, I knew I loved her. “Fucking fool,” I told myself. I couldn’t let myself get down. There was still too much to do, and once the demo and reno and grand re-opening were over, I’d be able to get over it, get over her, easier.
I wasn’t going to go down that road again.
Even if it hurt.
Even if I wanted to.
I didn’t know why I was a glutton for punishment, but I needed to break that cycle now.
Not that she was like Kendra, but I wasn't going to have someone who didn't know what she wanted or who had someone else bringing her flowers.
It was better if we both found people our own ages anyway, even though I still thought I’d be able to have a family. I wasn't going to be looking for anyone else that young again. There was too much difference in life experience.
But what about the shared life experience you both have?Damn stupid voice. I swatted it away, cleaned myself up, and headed back into the dining area. When I looked around, the foreman pointed to the hardhats and I went to grab one.
“What do you know about Julia, your PR rep?” the foreman asked me. I flinched when I heard her name.
I checked him over, trying to figure out why he was asking. I couldn’t read anything in his eyes to gauge his interest. “Why?” I asked. The ache in my chest grew. I didn’t think I’d be able to talk about Julia with some other guy about dating her. Even though I was a sad sack of shit, I wasn’t that much of a sap to push another guy on her.
“She asked for permission to come into the construction area. She wanted to do pictures and a live video. I told her she had to sign a waiver and wear different shoes.” He huffed and smiled, like he was letting me in on a joke. I stared, waiting for him to move on. He cleared his throat when I didn’t give him anything and had the decency to look embarrassed.
“Are you okay with that?” he asked.
“Yes,” I said. Although I had no idea if I really was. I didn’t need the reminder that she wanted to be with someone else, even if she just had sex with me. I patted the foreman on the back and needed to go clear my head. “I’m leaving. Let John know when you’re done. He’ll close everything up,” I said.
I left the mess of a dining room and walked into the mess of my life.
I dropped into my car seat outside and thought for a minute. I wasn’t even sure where I wanted to go. I just knew I couldn’t stay in the office where I’d just had sex with the woman I loved and then sent her off to be with someone else.
I thought back to what David said months ago before I won The Bridge and before I started demolition, and pretty much every time in between that.
Maybe I should've just given Kendra the restaurant.
I could leave and start over fresh somewhere new.
I didn’t have the means to open a restaurant on my own, but I did know people. Hell, even the critic said people were talking about me in certain circles—saying good things about my food, not bad.
I went to start my car and looked down at my phone.
I had a voicemail.
It was from Julia.
Hope sprang into my chest thinking she’d gotten in touch with me to tell me something I wanted to hear. Not something related to business. Even though I just told her we should keep it business-related.
I didn’t listen to it right away.
Instead, I started my car and drove out to the lake.
I used to go there when I was a kid.