Page 35 of Executive Benefits

Her walls instantly went up and the warmth in her eyes dashed away. “I–I don’t know if I’m ready for that,” she said and ran her hand across my chest. “I don’t want to have to start all over again if things go south for us. This is fun. Can’t we do this for a little while longer?”

I let go of her and rolled to my back, placing a hand on my forehead, and she snuggled up next to me. “I don’t understand. You said you were falling for me.” I looked back over at her. “Doesn’t that seem like it’s worth exploring?”

“I don’t have a response to that,” she said, scooting back from me. “I–I’m confused, and I can’t give you what you want.” She looked around the room, placing her hand on her head. “Maybe I should go.” She moved before I could say anything.

“Julia,” I started, watching her pick up her clothes. “Dammit, Julia,” I said, raising my voice and trying to get her to look at me.

She stopped, covering herself up with her dress. She tucked her hair behind her ear and looked at me. I watched her, saw her fear through her eyes and realized I couldn’t force her to want to be with me.

I shifted from the bed and walked over to her. I pulled her to me, and she let me hug her even though she was hesitant to hug me back. “I’m sorry. You said you were feeling things for me. I got excited and wanted to jump in feet first because my feelings are developing for you too.” She pulled back and tipped her chin up to look me in the eyes.

Her red lips were only stained with the remnant of the color, but even that on her skin looked wonderful. I ran my thumb over her lips and waited for her to say something. But she seemed at a loss for words.

“Come back to bed. We can talk in the morning, and I’ll make you breakfast.” I tugged her closer to me, and she laid her head over my heart. This time, her hand came around my back and she dropped her clothes, holding me to her with both arms. “You said you had to help me get my car, remember?”

I could feel her smile over my skin and was happy to get some kind of reaction that wasn’t fear and running away.

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about,” she said to my chest. “I’m not being fair to you. You deserve better than what I can give you right now.”

“Well, that’s a load of bullshit right there,” I said. She moved, looking up at me. Her mahogany eyes were large, and a sense of awe swept through them. “You don’t get to tell me what I do and don’t deserve. That’s up to me to decide. I get why you’re hesitant to step into something serious with me. I get that I’m a client, but I hope that one day, you’ll see that even if you dated a hundred clients—don’t do that, by the way. I’m the only client you should date.” Her smile was worth the thought of her being with someone else, even if it was a hypothetical.

“You’d still be you. You’d still be good at your job and creative, kind, hardworking, and intelligent when it comes to business. No matter what happens with us, I hope you’ll never forget that,” I finished, surprised at how fluidly those words came out.

I really must have meant it.

I might be into the non-relationship with Julia deeper than even I realized.

As I looked Julia over and tried to piece together what she was going through, the realization that we did have sixteen years between us sank in a little more. I’d gone through all the mistakes I’d made. Most of that time was with Kendra. But I’d learned and grown with those mistakes.

Forcing Julia to think like a forty-four-year old was pretty unfair.

I’d probably have to take a few steps back to make sure she could figure out for herself what she really wanted.

“It’s okay. I can wait until you’re ready,” I said. “Come back to bed. We'll get everything sorted out soon.”

Relief that she was staying washed through me as she nodded and turned back to the bed, but I wasn’t sure if I could wait until she was ready. I wanted to be, but I didn’t know if being so much older than she was would start to cause more issues. I didn’t want to hurt her and I didn’t want to get hurt.

16

JULIA

Ihadn’t seen Nick for a few days.

He’d asked me to go to a New Year’s Eve party with him after we had sex again, but I couldn’t bring myself to say yes, even though I wanted to. That was still days away. We had a meeting at The Bridge in the morning on New Year's Eve, but I was hoping if I stayed away, maybe he would find someone else to go with.

There was just too much history I still had to sort out. Plus, he probably deserved someone his own age who wasn’t… Well, who wasn’t me.

I looked at my laptop screen, trying to pull together some new ideas for a client Mia landed. She and I were in talks to make her a partner instead of assistant, which would be amazing and would mean that my business was growing—in the right direction—and we’d have to find a new assistant. But for now, this client wanted a social media package for a full year.

We’d gotten a few more bites that looked like they were going to turn into long-term clients, which was promising. I proppedmy forehead up with my hand and started writing out ideas for the client when a bell rang. “Shoot,” I muttered, looking over my shoulder. I thought I’d locked the door.

I stood up and walked around the corner, only to stop short. “Jared, what are you doing here?” I placed my hand on the wall to stop myself from falling over.

“You need to fix what you broke,” he snapped.

“What?” My brain caught on the word. “What?” I walked forward, scrubbing the spot between my brows. “It’s been almost a year.” I stopped short of coming within arm's length of him. He was never abusive, but he was manipulative, and the gleam in his eyes told me that nothing good was going to come from this visit.

“What does that have to do with anything? You told me you were going to fix things.” He took a step toward me. I crossed my arms but stood my ground. I wasn’t going to back down from him.

---