Page 13 of Silver Fox's Twin Surprise

I made it to my office and locked myself in. The lights were off, and I left them off as I sank into my desk chair and raked both hands through my hair and then down over my face. Each day that passed brought more bad news from that front and more challenges as I faced surgeries with the fear that my tremors would be noticed and pointed out, or worse, that I would make a real mistake because of them and hurt someone.

I found a clinic in Kansas City, Missouri, that would do the testing and diagnostics for me discreetly. It was outside of the Premier Health network, and my records could be sealed there and not shared with any of my insurance providers or my bosses here, but it would mean taking a short trip from work. That would only raise questions, so I'd been hesitating.

I was just torn. I knew I needed to do the right thing, but with this threat of a lawsuit looming, it felt like the right thing was the hard thing and it would destroy my career. All of the back and forth felt like it was consuming my time and energy, and I felt frustrated and distracted.

Until I thought of Rose.

Each time she crossed my mind, I paused to take a deep breath and smile. Like a ray of sunshine in the middle of a storm, she brought me peace and stability in this chaos. Thinking of the way we connected and how she made me feel capable and in control again made me desire to speak with her and be around her, and it was a small comfort I needed.

I rose and walked out of my office deciding to go in search of her. But my brooding mood went with me. I walked through the oncology ward where she typically worked, but she wasn't around. So I breezed through pediatrics, where I'd also seen her. My mood was growing worse by the minute, but I held out hopethat if and when I did see her, she'd accept my invitation to join me for dinner again.

After twenty minutes of searching to no avail, I walked out to the employee break area outside and sat down, and moments later, Rose approached me. She carried a smoothie in her hand and her ponytail swung behind her.

"Hey, Cole," she said, and even though I wanted to see her and talk to her, her chipper tone grated on my bruised ego.

"Yeah," I grunted, not wanting to be grumpy with her but not knowing how to change my mood.

"Is everything okay?" she asked softly, and she sat down next to me. She smelled good and that softened my edge, but thoughts of the board meeting still burned my conscience.

"Uh, not really, but I'm just not in the mood to talk about it." Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her wince and her head dropped.

"Sorry, I just thought… Uh, it's okay." Rose stood and faced me. "I'll catch you later?"

She looked hurt, and I felt guilty.

"I'm sorry, this isn't your fault. It's something I'm dealing with right now." I stood next to her, and she smiled again.

"It's okay. I understand…"

"I was just thinking how well dinner went last week and maybe you'd want to do it again?" The comfort of her presence was what I was craving. I missed having someone to come home to and talk about my day. While I didn't think I could or should open up about what was going on, at least the distraction of her sweetsmile and conversation would help me get my mind off things for a while.

"I'd love that… Friday night?" she asked, and she tilted her head to the side.

"Sounds good. I really am sorry for being grumpy," I told her again, and she patted my arm.

"Go have a run. That's what I do when I'm down." Rose turned and walked away, and I wished it were Friday already. Hiding from my reality wasn't a good coping strategy, but at least it worked for a while.

Now I had to find a lawyer and figure out how to fight this giant, and I had to make a plan to get to Kansas city and get something to help with these tremors before I really did lose everything. Getting fired and being unemployable wasn't a good look, and no woman would want to date me then. Not even a powerhouse like Rose.

12

ROSE

Icarried the weight of that interaction with Cole on my shoulders as I walked back into the hospital after my break. I had never seen him that irritable before, but I knew everyone had bad days now and then. It felt a little off putting, but I didn’t know everything about him, only what little he had shared and what Kiki had told me. Now I wondered what sort of things could be happening in his life to make him so grumpy and if there was a way I could help.

I headed to the nurse's station to check back in and overheard them chatting about something. It piqued my interest and I felt bad, but I listened in a little.

"Well you know what's coming next. If that lawsuit goes through, they'll cut nursing. No way they go to cutting doctors. They’ll just expect us to work more hours for the same pay and have fewer hands to do the work." One of the nurses, a frumpy woman named Pam, looked upset. I didn’t know what lawsuit they were talking about, but hearing that bit about firing nurses caught my attention. I couldn’t just ignore that.

"What did you say?" I asked, turning to pick up a stack of charts I had to file. The nurse looked up at me, and so did the younger one. This was when I hated my own policy of not making friends with coworkers. I intentionally did not learn their names so I could feel less attached. Now I wish I knew them.

The younger nurse,Ginny, her nametag read, said, "Oh, some doctor screwed up and there's a malpractice suit out there. If Premier Health gets sued, there'll be hell to pay. I've never dealt with this, but Pam has and?—

"And it's not pretty," Pam said, cutting Ginny off. She scowled. "They have to come up with money somewhere, and you know they won't stop their research or expensive testing that's unnecessary. They'll just cut laborers. Doctors are too important so they cut nursing and techs, and that leaves us in a pinch." I wasn't fond of her negative attitude, but I was listening to her words.

"Wow, yeah. That doesn't sound good." I wanted to ask if they knew what happened, but I felt like that was bordering on gossip. If hospital administration wanted us to know, they would announce it. I grimaced and backed a step away. "Thanks… Uh, if that happens, who gets fired first?"

"Well, it's not like firing," Ginny said. "They call it reduction in force, and you're just laid off. You'd be free to work somewhere else, but you can't draw unemployment for a year." She sighed hard and shook her head.

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