Page 18 of Silver Fox's Intern Dilemma

Dr. Briggs’s expression didn’t change, but I could almost hear the gears grinding in his head.

Sophia nodded, calm as ever. “I’m ready, Dr. Thornton.”

And for the first time, I didn’t doubt her.

I let Dr. Briggs head out while Sophia and I lingered for a moment in the doctors’ lounge. She stacked her notebook on her tablet and put her pen into her pocket and then hugged her things to her chest and started for the door, but I couldn't put my finger on what I found so uncomfortable with this shift in her demeanor.

"Dr. Chen, can we speak?" I turned over my shoulder in time to see her pause by the door and turn back to me.

"Of course," she said politely and hovered there. I glanced around the room and ensured we were alone and gestured with my head for her to come back.

Sophia walked over to me and stood over me, and I tried to keep myself composed. For the most part, I had been able to handle myself and push away my desire for her. At times, she was distracting in a good way, helping me stay not so serious that I took the job too personally, but not distracting enough to cause us issues. But after that sex in my office, she had changed. I didn't dislike it, but it was noticeable now.

"What's going on?" I asked, and she blinked rapidly.

"What do you mean?" Sophia looked around, and I noticed the way her bottom lip drew into her mouth between her teeth. My eyes fell there, and I had to fight the urge to stay fixed on her mouth. I wanted her again so badly I could taste it, but shewas too obvious. Her entire demeanor had shifted, and even Dr. Briggs was noticing.

"I mean, quiet, backward Sophia vanished and this.” I swept my hand up and down, gesturing from her head to her feet.

"I'm sorry, I just feel more confident, I guess." Her smile was brilliant, and I loved seeing this side of her. But she suddenly got a little flustered and her cheeks tinged pink.

I stood and sighed. "Because we had sex?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. I knew that was the case. She felt safer with me now, which meant she felt more confident in general, and that was contributing to her superior performance. While all of that was a good thing, the foundation of it wasn't. If that foundation crumbled—which it would the instant anyone found out and told the board we had sex—her confidence would plummet again.

"No, well… No.” She shook her head, and it drooped.

"Sophia, it can't happen.” I was tearing my own heart out by saying it, but it was the truth. We could not entertain the idea of a relationship or even a fling. Even the positive changes it could have between us were bad. They were affecting her performance at work and at times, they were distracting to me.

"I know," she said sadly, and she nodded her head at me. "I'm sorry.” I hated that she was a wilting flower, retreating inward into her mind where in her own eyes, she wasn't capable. I wished that I could make it different for her, somehow speak life into her in a way that was ethical and professional and gave her the same confidence boost—without breaking hospital policy.

"Look, I have some free time tonight. You and I should do some one-on-one. How does that sound? I'll order pizza." I intended this time to keep it fully professional and make sure we focused on education. I had a simulator on my laptop. I'd been dying to have her try it out.

"Yes, I have time," she said, but the zest was gone from her tone. "I better go do pre-op." Sophia threw a thumb over hershoulder and backed away, and I felt sorry for taking the wind out of her sails, but it was for the best.

The farther we got from the topic of our having sex, the better. The more space we put between ourselves, the more clearly we'd see that it would never work. Because of our age difference, because of my little girl and the custody issue, because of our job, and most importantly, because if I didn't get her out of my head, I was going to make a mistake that might really hurt someone on my surgical table.

15

SOPHIA

Ihad to admit the simulation software Jack had me working with was pretty cool. I had done an appendectomy, a cholecystectomy, a trauma surgery, and even a gastric bypass. The system had every surgery imaginable broken down into categories for everything from orthopedic, to internal medicine, to neurological and cardiac. I was fascinated with it even if I had to use a mouse for everything and the extension remotes that paired with it weren't available. Jack said they were too expensive.

"What's that?" Leah asked me, leaning on the coffee table where Jack's laptop sat. She had been "helping" me with my practice while Jack cooked dinner for us, and now that dinner was over and he was cleaning up, she was here at my side again, distracting me.

"Uh, that's a lung," I told her, trying to focus. Jack walked in with a towel in his hands, drying them, and I could hear his scowl as he spoke to her without even having to see his face.

"Leah, I asked you to leave Dr. Chen alone. She needs to do her studying." His shift from calling me Sophia back to calling me by my title and surname felt like a slap in the face, but after our conversation this afternoon, I knew why he was doing it.

What happened between us should never have happened and we never took time to talk about it. Maybe we should have, but that night, I knew he had left his daughter in the on-call room with a nurse who had a job to do. We didn't have time right then. Then we got bombarded by a very busy week and an even busier weekend last weekend. I had plans on Saturday and my family thing on Sunday while Jack was on call all weekend.

Now, Wednesday night, and an odd night for Jack to have his daughter, we'd finally squeezed in time to do more intensive studying together, but having that conversation in front of his seven-year-old wouldn't work. Not to mention the fact that the damage was done. I could tell he was affected by the sex too, whether he cared to admit it or not. He was nicer to me, harder on Dr. Briggs, and then there were the times he just sat and checked me out so obviously.

"But she's playing a game I like to watch," Leah said innocently. "It's my favorite."

"Your favorite, huh?" Jack asked her, flipping the towel so it hung over his shoulder. Then he picked her up and tickled her. "When do you play this game?" he asked as she giggled and squirmed. Then he dropped her on the couch next to me and she sighed.

"I play at Mommy's house all the time." Leah crossed her arms over her chest confidently, and my God, I wished I had half the confidence of this child who was clearly lying.

"Now, baby, what have I told you about lying?" Jack lowered himself onto the couch beside her, and I sat back and watched the interaction. He was such a good father, not scolding and harsh like mine. His gentle correction helped coax the lie right out of her.

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