Page 26 of Silver Fox's Intern Dilemma

"Well, it's the right thing. I looked into it… went back and read the employee manual online. It turns out there's an allowance for two employees to date each other. They just have to declare the relationship and fill out the paperwork. There'd be some fuss about time off if we were both to request the same days too often, but in all, it's a pathway forward to the next step for us.” He smiled and pulled back so we could look each other in the eye.

"So, that's it? We just tell them and we're good?" I felt tense, my stomach rolling around inside my body the way it had been for days now. It had me a bit worried that our little oopsie seven weeks ago was more than an oopsie, but I hadn't said anything to Jack yet. Not until I was sure.

"Well, that's not all.” He grimaced and looked down, avoiding my eyes. "They'd end up moving you to a different department. You wouldn't be able to finish your residency with me. But we'd have each other. We could continue this." His hand touched under the bottom of my chin, and he met my gaze again, but I felt tears welling up.

I'd also been so emotional and tired the past few weeks too, which also wasn't a good sign. But I blinked back the tears this time because I didn’t want him to start asking questions.

"Jack, I can't do that." I shook my head and sat up, deciding that a shower wasn't going to happen. The close intimacy I felt was now clouded with fear. "My parents… They already think this is a bad idea. My dad knows too many people. If he findsout I was moved from one department to another, he'll ask questions. He'll figure out it's because I'm dating you. He'll force me to go to Maryland."

I started collecting my clothing from the various places on the carpet where they fell last night when Jack wrestled them off me, and I got dressed while Jack watched.

"Alright, I understand, but won't they have to find out about us sometime anyway?" He sounded hurt, and that wasn't my goal.

I turned and frowned at him. "I'm not trying to keep you a secret, Jack. I'm trying to keep my parents happy so I don't incur their wrath. You don’t know them. Honor is a huge thing in my dad's culture. Just by staying at Twin Peaks, I'm rebelling against his wishes. Being booted from the residency I've fought so hard to keep would destroy me.” My lip quivered, and I thought I'd throw up.

"Alright," he said, climbing back out of the bed. He came to me and gripped my neck softly with both hands, thumbs on my jaw. He kissed my lips tenderly, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. "I understand."

"I have to go. I need to stop somewhere on the way home before I get to work.” That somewhere was a place I had no intention of telling him about, but I knew it was time. I'd spent several mornings praying to the porcelain goddess, and my body was utterly exhausted by the schedule I had to keep.

"Sure, I'll see you there." Jack pulled away, and I picked up my purse and keys and headed out.

I felt sad. He was so ready to take that huge step and I just couldn’t do it. He was right. It was the best thing for us. HR would know we were together and we wouldn't have to hide things, but if Dad even got a whiff of it, I was dead to him. Okay, so I was being melodramatic, but I knew life would never be the same.

On the way to the hospital where I knew I had a change of clothes and a free shower, I stopped at the pharmacy. I got three pregnancy tests because I knew taking just one was a risk. Sometimes they were wrong, and with something this important, I couldn't afford to be wrong.

When I got to work, well ahead of the time Jack would arrive, I went to the female doctors' locker rooms. I only had a short time to get ready now, but the tests would only take a few minutes to process. So I tore all three of them open and locked myself into a shower and toilet stall. I peed on all of them and then jumped into the shower to scrub the saltiness and Jack's scent from my body.

When I was done I stepped out, dripping wet, and stood there staring at the results. All three of them had two very dark pink lines, declaring I was, in fact, pregnant. Very pregnant. Pregnant enough that all three of the tests matched and the solid lines were impossible to mistake.

I sat on the wooden bench in the stall for a moment and sighed. This was why I was so tired, which made sense. It relieved some of my mental stress because I knew if it wasn't pregnancy, then it was likely something more serious. Then it made me feel a little nervous because while Jack was ready to take a step into a deeper relationship with me, I wasn’t sure if this was something he'd want.

Then I felt happy. I smiled at myself and the situation and teared up with happy tears. Hanging out with Leah had been so wonderful. She was bright and funny and smart, and now I was going to have a baby of my own, not a borrowed child who'd never have the bond with me that a real mother-daughter relationship would have. I was going to be a mother.

"Someone in there?" I heard, and I knew I couldn't linger.

"Yeah, just a second." I had to rush to clean up, dry off, and dress, but in the back of my mind, I was less stressed than I had been in days.

I didn't know how or when to tell Jack, and I'd sit and think about that for a while, but when I did tell him, I hoped he felt as happy about this as I did. If not, I wasn't sure what to do. I'd never be able to explain it to my parents without a man to help me raise this baby.

20

JACK

"You've got to be kidding me, though. Howard, this isn't okay." I was fuming mad, so much so that I could've torn my hair out. "She can't just demand sole custody with no visitation and move out of state." I paced the expensive rug in his office and refused to be comforted.

What Dana was doing was outrageous. This was something she'd been planning for weeks or even months. I knew it. It was why she kept yelling at me for the slightest things and insisting she was going to sue. I never thought it would come to this because I didn't realize what she had going on behind the scenes. And after Leah told me she didn't like her mother's "friends", this was not going to happen. Not on my watch.

"Jack, please sit down." Howard's crinkled forehead didn't even convince me to calm down, but I did sit. This wasn't his fault, and I shouldn't be shouting in his office. "Now look, the judge has to sign off on this. What he's going to see is that you've had an agreement in place. He'll see she's living off your alimony and child support. He'll see how Dana wants to rip your child away from you to go to an environment that isn’t as stable as what she has here."

"Fuck's sake," I grumbled.

"And," Howard continued calmly, "he'll see that you're an amazing father with a steady income stream. You have a solid foundation. Leah has friends here, and family. And Dana wants to take her away from all of that. All you need to do is continue to provide that stable, steady environment, and there is no way the judge will side in favor of Dana."

My chest was so tight I thought I might be having a heart attack, but I trusted Howard. He'd been my lawyer since the divorce and he'd been with me through every custody hearing. He had never steered me wrong, even when we both knew it wasn't going to go in my favor. He'd been honest then and I knew he was being honest now.

"I need some air," I told him, standing. "I'll call you tomorrow.”

"Don't do anything rash, Jack. Just interact with her the same way you always would. Don't talk about this without me present!" Howard's words followed me into the hall, and I stomped all the way to my car.

---