Page 16 of Merry Mix-Up

"Oh yeah. You're right. I told the DJ love songs, but we should probably have Christmas love songs. That Mariah one, maybe?"

"You've got to be kidding me," I groaned as if he were murdering me. "That song is hideous. Who even likes it?" I laughed, and he tickled my side.

"It's better than the one by Wham!" Newt started singing, "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart but the very next day–" I elbowed him and took his hand, forcing him to stand.

The parade was almost over and I wanted to beat the crowds. I led him down the stands and past the trash can where we tossed our empty cups. He held my hand, though I couldn’t feel the warmth of his hands because of the mittens I wore. We walked down the sidewalk away from the noisy crowd and into the dark side street where I'd parked my car.

"You know, I haven't had this much fun at a Christmas parade in years. Thank you for inviting me. I probably would have sat at home watching reruns of old sitcoms or something." Our arms dangled between us as we walked, and he kept in step with me. We passed Santa's workshop, closed for business since Santa was at the other end of the parade route right now.

"Aw, it was my pleasure. I know you and Nomie love the holidays so much. I was never much of a believer, but I loved the gifts." The way his dimple peeked through his stubble was so cute. I wanted to pinch his cheeks.

"You mean you never believed in Santa at all?" I gasped in feigned shock and pressed my other gloved hand to my chest.

Newt sucked in a deep breath and blew out a puff of frosty air. "No, can't say I did. My first encounter with Santa was when I was super young. I walked into the bathroom at a Macy's and saw a man dressed up like Santa fixing his beard. He barked something about privacy and I knew at that point that it was all a sham. His name was Bob and he worked for Honda. Found that out later that day when Dad invited him for steaks. Never forget that."

I laughed so hard I might have peed a little and found myself hugging his bicep and leaning on his shoulder. I didn't care if the story was made up or real. We were really bonding.

"I was a hardcore believer long after my sister stopped believing. I think I was eleven or twelve when the mirage cracked and I found out Mom and Dad were the ones playing Santa's elves." The memory was a fond one now, though at the time I was devastated.

"How'd you figure it out?" Newt asked, and he covered my gloved hands with his and patted them.

"Well, I happened upon Mom and Dad's gift-hiding spot in the garage and saw they bought me a sewing machine that year. My first one ever, and man, had I begged for one. I told Santa in my letter that it was all I wanted." I sighed. "Fast forward to Christmas morning, and I opened a package that saidFrom Santa, and it was the very machine I found in the garage.Kabam. That was it. Magic ruined."

The ice crunched under my feet as we stopped by my car, fixed thanks to Dad's handiness with a few tools, and I looked up at Newt's confused expression.

"Sewing machine, huh? That sounds more like your sister."

The lie snaked around my chest and squeezed me until I cleared my throat to avoid looking guilty. "Yeah, she and I were more alike back then. She went off the deep end into designing her own clothes and I… well…" I let my voice fade out as he reached up and cupped my face.

"Let me come home with you again. I really want to be with you tonight." The request was so sincere and heartfelt, I hated saying no, but I had to. It was bad enough that we were in public together, but going back to my place meant getting so much more wrapped up in this. I had to pump the breaks to protect him—and my sister's reputation.

"I'm sorry, Newt. I can't tonight." I gave no explanation or excuse, but I did rise up to peck him on the cheek.

He turned and caught my lips in a scorching kiss that took my breath for a moment. Then he said, "Alright, but if youchange your mind, call me. I'll come any time." Newt backed away, and I lowered to my flat feet. He walked backward for a few steps as I watched and felt the heat of his presence dissipate the farther he got. Eventually, he turned and continued with his back to me, but I stood there for a few more minutes feeling torn.

I hated myself.

I really liked him, like… I thought I might be falling in love with him. And Amber would kill me because everyone in this town who knew her knew she was with Derek. Neither of them were even home for the holidays yet, though. But if someone saw me kissing Newt like that and it got back to any of them, it would hurt a lot of people. I couldn't let that happen, which meant I had to deny myself. At least until Amber came home and cleared this up.

But it was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do in my life.

10

NEWT

December 11th

The tuxes Jared picked for us were nice. Nothing like my Armani, but Frank and Evan weren't loaded like me. And Jared had this chip on his shoulder about accepting help. It was good to see him wanting to be independent and do things on his own. I liked that quality about him because it meant he would take care of Naomi, and that was every big brother's standard.

"Looks like Newt's dressing down for a change." Evan chuckled, and he watched my reflection in the row of mirrors as I straightened the tie.

The cut was off, and the fit wasn't great either, but this was what Jared wanted. "Looks like Evan needs to use that bowtie to muffle the jokes." I eyed him, and they all laughed. "You can't even fill out the cummerbund. You have no room to joke about me."

Jared laughed and elbowed his college buddy. "Newt's right, man. We'll have to get you a Superman chest plate from the Halloween clearance if you're going to wear that suit like a real man."

That comment made Jared's uncle Frank—who was only a few years older than him but an uncle nonetheless—snort. Frank looked down his nose at the two and said, "As the eldest, I should point out that?—"

"Fact check," Jared interrupted. "Newt's the old man on campus. He's pushing forty."

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