Page 16 of Silver Fox's Secret Baby

12

ETHAN

Istrolled into the pub a little later than normal for a Wednesday. I had a few patients to follow up with for release today before I could leave. I knew Lily was coming because Tina and Amber, both nurses on the pediatric floor, told me. They weren't spying for me, but I might have told them I'd like her to come out more often and given them a little financial incentive to befriend Lily and get her more active in the after-work crowd.

Jacob was here, but I hadn’t come to see him. My goal was to get down to brass tacks with Lily. I was so consumed with thoughts of her that it made focusing on work difficult. I’d pretty much withdrawn from any social contact with my work friends because I was so obsessed with rekindling our love.

Lily was seated at the end of the bar alone, and I felt bad. Tina and Amber both had solid relationships with other doctors and staff from Mountain View, and that left Lily alone. She probably felt uncomfortable just approaching them, and they only invited her at my behest, which left Lily to fend for herself. She had an empty glass in front of her, and I was surprised that none of the younger single male doctors were seated next to her. I headed her way.

The closer I got, the more I could see how agitated she was. Her face was screwed up into a scowl. She was staring at her phone and her thumbs were typing in a message that looked heated or flustered. I couldn't tell which. I pulled the stool out and sat down beside her, and she didn’t even look up. The message was to her mother. I noticed it as I leaned over her shoulder.

"Whatever you have on tap," I told the bartender, and then Lily looked up.

"Uh, Ethan…." She put her phone in her purse and slid off the stool. "I have to go." The crowd was rowdy this evening, a little louder than normal with the jukebox playing a hard rock song that made it even more challenging.

"What?" I asked, trying to lean closer, but she shook her head. she looked afraid or angry. It was hard to decide which. She scowled and started walking away, and the man next to me elbowed me. When I saw his gleeful expression over my rejection, it irritated me.

I planted my feet on the floor and went after her, finally catching up a few feet from the door. She was in a hurry for some reason, and for whatever reason, it seemed like it had to do with me. She bolted the instant I got here. But I thought our dinner last week had gone so well. She left that note saying she'd like to do it again, but now she was running away and all I did was sit beside her.

"Hey, what's going on?" I asked her, spinning her around. The same deep crevices in her forehead revealed an emotion she was trying to hide from me. She couldn't hide things from me. We'd been together long enough that I knew when she was lying.

"I have to go, Ethan," she said, but I wasn’t letting her go without an explanation. I wanted to spend time with her, and I had gotten those nurses to get her to this bar because when Iasked her to come she had "other plans". But she clearly had no other plans. If so, she'd have told them no also.

"What's so important?" I wasn't being overly pushy. I let the concern in my tone show, and when the music faded out at the end of the song, it was easier to hear her.

"It's not really something I want to talk about right now." Her eyes were shifty, darting to look at the door, then my face. She wrung her hands and acted flustered. She could tell me anything, but I didn’t think she understood that or felt as safe as she once had.

Maybe it had been too long, or maybe she didn’t trust me after what had happened. My apology was real, and I believed she had accepted it, but I could appreciate the fact that heartbreak couldn’t be fixed with "I'm sorry." It took a lot of time and patience to rebuild trust and intimacy. I was willing to do the work, I just wanted her to stop pulling back. We only just got started again.

"Please talk to me." I raised my hand and cupped her cheek, and she bit her lower lip. Tears brimmed in her eyes, which further confused me. It was something deeply emotional to her, something that touched her heart. I wanted into that spot, but I knew I couldn’t force my way in. She had to invite me in, and it didn’t appear she wanted to do that yet. I brushed my thumb over her cheekbone as I cupped her cheek.

"Stop, please." She huffed and shied away from me, backing up a step. "It's not really something I can talk about right now. I just have to go. It's important." Lily backed up another step, and I pursued her. She was almost to the wall next to the little coat rack area where we hung our coats in winter.

"Okay, that's alright, but can it wait just a little bit? I wanted to share a drink with you. I thought we'd get some time. Tina and Amber?—"

"You put them up to this? Asked them to invite me because I told you no?" Anger flashed in her eyes, then she scoffed. "I should have known. You can't take no for an answer."

My own temper started to rise, swelling in my chest. She had a way of making me feel insanely angry and irrational, but completely in love and devoted all at once. That sort of passion was the type I lived for, where we could throw down like professional boxers and then hug it out and tumble into bed for incredible makeup sex afterward. I didn't want anything less, and I didn’t want anyone else.

"I can take no for an answer. I just prefer an explanation with it." I moved forward again, and she bumped into the wall. Her eyes widened and her nostrils flared. The curls framing her face bounced as she shook her head in disbelief. We hadn't gone at it like this in years, but that didn't stop me from pursuing her. In the past, it always led to the steamiest sex, though that would be a longshot, given we were in public.

"Dr. Matthews, I would politely request you to back up. I do not have to explain myself to you or anyone else. My personal life is my business, not yours." She was so cute when she got angry. She'd get so flustered her cheeks would burn red and her lips would quiver. The tears dried up, and I felt her maneuver her purse between our bodies while my eyes were locked on her face.

"Dr. Carter, I'd politely request you to stop pushing me away when you told me you were pleased with me the other night and wanted to enjoy my presence again." I leaned hard on her, pinning her to the wall and boxing her in with an arm on either side of her. I was getting worked up just thinking of kissing her.

"Ethan," she whimpered, and I knew this time was different. Something was really wrong, but I was carried away. I thought if I just kissed her, calmed her down, she'd melt in my arms and tell me what was wrong. We'd done that too, a few times. I justhad to have enough discernment to know what she was feeling. I could see the pain in her eyes.

"Lily," I mumbled, but the train had left the station. I leaned in and kissed her, not as hard as I would have liked to, but she was vulnerable and I wasn't going to push her any further. The kiss was hot, sizzling my mouth, and I knew she felt it too. She was hesitant at first, then leaned into it and let me search her mouth with my tongue.

I groped her, but not too heavily. We were in public, after all, but my dick did start to swell. Just like the good old days, I felt her caving to me, desiring me, until the idiots at the bar made a mockery of our connection and started laughing. I paused and pressed my forehead to hers because it just wasn’t working. She was stiff and I was too needy, too hungry for her.

She sighed against my mouth and turned her head. "I'm sorry," I whispered into her ear. "I thought…." My pursuit of her had been misguided at best, damaging at worst. But she knew me. It wasn't like I had changed in the past five years. I didn’t know if I would ever change, but maybe she had.

Lily looked down and away as I gave her a few inches of space. Our bickering seemed to have gotten the attention of a few nearby patrons of the bar. They chuckled and threw jibes at me, and she looked up, horrified. The shame in her eyes was nothing short of gut-wrenching. I hated that she felt that way, that I had made her feel that way on top of what was already happening that made her worked up. I'd do anything to take that back.

Her body tensed, and as I took a step back to turn and tell the bozos off, she recoiled. Her arm drew back and her hand flew toward my face, connecting in a smack so hard spit flew from my lip. My hand touched the spot on my cheek that stung. I was shocked and dazed for a second as she rushed out. The guys at the bar laughed harder, but I didn't have time to waste on them.

I rushed out into the night to follow her, but her car was parked less than three spots from the door and she was already halfway there. Running would only frighten her so I called, "Lily, please. I'm sorry. You can tell me what it is." But before I had my comment out, she was in her car and it was started. She was running away from me and I couldn’t stop her, and I didn’t even know why she was running.

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