Page 5 of Saved By the SEAL

“I don’t know if I can handle going out.” I fold my arms protectively across my chest. “I’m sorry. I’m starving, but I don’t know if I’ll be able to go to a restaurant or something like that. I don’t know if I can be out in public again…”

My breaths get caught in my throat. I begin panting desperately, unable to calm myself down. The idea of being outside again with cool air washing over me is too much. I keep seeing Alexander staring at me as he pulls the gun and kills me.

“Okay, it’s okay.” Jordan rests his hand on my shoulder to attempt to reassure me. “We don’t have to go out. We can order takeout. We can eat in here. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking when I made that offer. We will get food to eat here.”

It takes a while for the tight knot of anxiety to loosen. The idea of being out there in the world for another time today, even with Jordan protecting me, is too much for me. I can’t do it. I need to be locked away inside this place for as long as I can.

“Are you sure?” I finally gasp out as I lift up to reach his eyes. “I’m sorry, I know that’s an issue…”

“I’m sure. I don’t mind eating inside. I’m just hungry, that’s all.” He grins at me, showing dimples popping in his cheeks. “I’m willing to eat anywhere. Do you have anything in particular that you would like? I’m easy. I eat anything.”

I suggest Chinese food because as far as I can understand, everyone likes Chinese food. I do too, and if it’ll do anything to ease the tension between us, then I’m all for it. I just want this time to run smoothly with Jordan, that’s all.

“Right, well, I’ll give you time to unpack, and I’ll put in the call and order us some food, then.”

“You aren’t going to unpack your suitcase?” I nod toward the small bag he has with him. He talks about me not having a lot of stuff, but look at him. He doesn’t really have anything with him. But I suppose he isn’t going to be here forever, is he? I am. Hopefully, unless Alexander grabs onto me and ruins everything, of course. But I’m not planning for that. “There’s room.”

“I can live out of a case.” He grins back a little cheekily, if I’m honest. “You don’t need to worry about me. But don’t worry, if I’m sleeping on the couch, I won’t make any mess of your living room. I’ll look after this place as if it’s my own.”

Ooh, I like it when he’s cheeky with me. It sends a shiver of delight running down my spine.Notthat I can think of him in that way, especially not if we’re living together. Because he has me breathless, I can only nod and quickly make my escape into my room. I quickly close the door behind me and rest my weary body up against it to try and catch my breath as much as I can.

Wow. My head is spinning. I’m a mess. I’m feeling a little jittery being this close to Jordan in this enclosed space. Maybe we should have found a way to go out instead. Perhaps I should get over my fear… but I suppose I’m going to have to find a way to get used to being around him. I can’t not, can I? If we’re going to live together until I’m safe, which could be a long time.

Unpacking my case doesn’t help, looking at the negligee and the skimpy clothing. It all screams sex, which of course it’s supposed to, but it doesn’t help my current mood. I might as well have flames licking all over my skin. God, what is it about Jordan? Why does he have me all dizzy with far too many emotions I can’t explain well, even to myself?

“Why am I even bothering to hang all of this up?” I mutter to myself with a head shake. “I don’t want to wear any of it.”

I’m half looking forward to going clothes shopping so I can at least have something that I’m comfortable with, but I’m nervous about it too. Especially if I’ll be doing it with Jordan. It’s pretty… intimate, isn’t it? As an experience. Not that I’ve ever been shopping with a man before, but to me it seems like it’ll be deeper than touching one another. But maybe that’s just because I’ve been so trained to think of touch as a tool. Maybe that will change when I find a man I reallylike.

“But not Jordan,” I whisper quietly to myself. “Just because he’s good-looking, doesn’t mean he’s the one.”

Eventually, I drag myself out of the bedroom right at the moment the food arrives, which is great because I’m actually starving now. I don’t know what it’ll be like eating with Jordan, but I’m willing to give it a try. It might even be fun.

“I ordered some of everything, so there’s bound to be something you like here.” He spreads it out on the dining table which is thankfully here with the rest of the furniture. “I hope, anyway. But let me know if you don’t like anything.”

“No, there is plenty here. Thank you for all of this. It smells delicious. I appreciate it all. Wow, what a feast.”

We take our seats and start to eat, which unfortunately brings with it the awkward silence once more. Every so often, one of us will say something to try and start a conversation, but it doesn’t quite pan out at all. It’s almost as if we aren’t quite connecting, which is strange because I think we’ve done pretty well today. We’ve managed to survive it all with ease.

There’s still an element of distrust, too. I can feel it emanating from him. I think he might be trying to overcome it a little, but it remains there, clinging to the air. Even becoming his ‘wife’ for the day hasn’t done anything to dampen that. I guess it’s going to take more time. Eventually, I’ll show him that I’m everything I promise to be. I’m not a spy, I’m not someone who shouldn’t be trusted. I’m just trying to escape a shitty situation that I’ve been forced into.

“Wow, I think I might be stuffed,” I eventually declare with a giggle. I want him to see the warm-hearted side to me. I want him to know that I can be liked by him. “I don’t think I’ve eaten that much in a very long time. I’m so full, but honestly, that was delicious. The nicest Chinese meal that I’ve ever eaten. Thank you very much, Jordan. It was sweet of you.”

“Oh, well, you’re welcome.” He doesn’t know how to handle the kindness, the compliments. It makes him bashful, which is actually kind of cute. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. No, don’t pick up the plates. I’ll do the dishes. I don’t mind, before you argue.”

He’s going to insist, I can sense it, and I don’t have the strength to fight back right now, so I simply nod in agreement instead. It’s been… well, not the worst thing in the world hanging out with Jordan, but there is a definite unease that I want to get away from. I need to be back in the bedroom where I can be by myself and get my head in order.

5

JORDAN

What the hell?A scream so loud, so shrill it rockets through my brain, shocks me awake. I was in the middle of a really nice dream then, which makes this even more dramatic to me. It’s so shocking that my blood runs ice cold. I can’t take it. Instantly, I feel terrible for sleeping. I definitely shouldn’t have done that on my first night while protecting Michelle. I’ve fucked up really badly, and Max is going to absolutely kick my ass for this. I’ll deserve it too. I messed up so badly it hurts my chest.

Too many horrible scenarios encase my brain as I soak in that nasty sound. I hate the idea of anything happening to Michelle. Right now, any concept of her being the seductive spy who’s actually the bad guy vanishes into nothingness. She’s a poor, innocent woman who wants to escape a horrible situation, and I’ve failed in helping her. I’ve ruined her life.

I leap up and run into Michelle’s bedroom without even thinking that this might be inappropriate, bursting into her private space. I just need to save her, and I’ve become utterly convinced that someone has caught her already. The Russians whom I’ve beenwarned are terribly dangerous are already here, and they’ve caught Michelle already. She’s going to be killed…

“Michelle?” I swing the door open, but no light floods the room which means I can’t see what’s going on. I lean back and flick on the hallway light so I can at least see who I need to attack. Whoever is here, I’ll take them down, I’ll do whatever I need to. I’mnotlosing Michelle. I refuse to fuck up like this already. Especially listening to the blood-curdling, sickening scream, the one that’s actually making it challenging to keep the vomit inside. I might have been in hundreds of different terrible situations in my life, but none of them have felt quite as dramatic and painful as this one. “Michelle? What’s going on? What’s happening here?”

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