Page 27 of Saved By the SEAL

“So, it could have been Michelle. It could have been one of the Russian spies. Someone wanted me dead.” I huff sadly. My head is still spinning a bit too much to take this in easily, but I’m doing my best. “What did Michelle lie about?”

Max instantly looks uncomfortable. It seems he was fooled by her more than he wanted to let on. “Well, her father is a man in government. That’s information this so-called Kate gave to you. Although not as powerful as he once was…”

Ooh, do I remember that? I don’t remember this American spy woman, but it does feel more familiar than it should.

“As for the idea that Michelle is married, I can’t get any solid information about that either way. The guys back at the office are working day and night to see what they can discover, but it isn’t straightforward. It’s hard to crack Russian information, even with everything that we have available to us. Wewilldo it, though. You don’t need to worry about that.”

I nod slowly, trying to accept all of this, but it isn’t sinking in. It all feels all kinds of wrong. Even if I’m the one who clearly had suspicions about Michelle at first, I don’t feel the same way now. That part of my brain has been knocked out, and all I can recall are the good times we shared. I was falling for her, I was really falling hard and fast. I could have been in love with her, given half the chance, and now, I’m lying in a hospital bed with her God knows where, wondering whether she shot me.

“So, where do we go from here?” I ask Max a little helplessly. “What happens next? This is all… a lot.”

“Your main priority is to get yourself better,” he tells me firmly. “I don’t want you worrying about any of this. You need to leave it all to me. I’ll find out where Michelle is and what the Russians plan to do next.”

“I don’t think I can just lie here and do nothing, Max.” Even the concept of that idea feels overwhelming to me. “Can’t you tell them to let me out of here already? I’m frustrated as it is. Plus, aren’t I basically just waiting to be killed here?”

“Not with people watching you, no. And I can’t get you out of here, Jordan. You need to heal. It would also be very useful to us if you could try and remember everything while you’re in here. I know it’s a lot for me to ask you to try and recall who shot you, but that would make our lives a lot easier if we could know. It’ll help us move in the right direction.”

I dive into my mind once more but get nothing. “I’ll see what I can do, Max. But what if I remember nothing?”

“Then we will figure it out,” he replies with sheer determination in his voice. “One way or another, we will make this work. Now, I need to get back to the office in a moment, but I have someone else coming in to watch over you. Do you want them in here with you to make you feel more comfortable, or would you be happier with them outside the room by the door?”

I instantly know that I don’t have the emotional energy to talk to anyone else right now, especially since it might be someone I don’t know. “I think it might be better if I’m alone to try and get my thoughts together. Is that alright?”

Max pats my arm and agrees. “Of course. I’m sure you need your rest too. It isn’t easy being shot.”

As he exits my room, I fall under a deep, dark cloud. Leaving the Navy SEALs and moving into security was supposed to put me in a line of work that wasn’t so dangerous. I knew that I would face hardships. I wasn’t stacking shelves or some other line of work without enemies, but I’ve personally been hurt more doing this on my very first job than I ever was in the military. That never left me in the hospital with no chance of escape and murderous criminals after me. I don’t like the idea that this might not be the best line of work for me, but what if it isn’t? What if I keep making mistakes because I’m a fuck-up?

“Kate,” I whisper to myself, trying to drag her face out of my muddy memories. “Kate, who the fuck are you? Michelle, who the fuck are you too? Was anything that we shared real? Did you just seduce me as part of your end game?”

Urgh, if I think about her giving me those looks, making me feel so incredible, causing me to fall for her through the lens of someone who didn’t really give a shit, it makes me sick to my stomach. She couldn’treallydo that to me, could she? Although if she lied about who she is, then maybe she’s the best damn actress in the world. She should have an Oscar.

And if she’s married… well, that changes everything, doesn’t it? That turns the world on its ass in every possible way. That could be even more painful than the agony shooting through my body right now, although I suppose I’m probably on tons of pain relief for the physical issues. There isn’t any morphine for my heart, unfortunately.

“You are an idiot,” I scold myself angrily. “Thinking you’re ready for something serious at last. Clearly, not.”

I said to Michelle that I would give up the dangerous career if I ever found someone to love. Well, life clearly wants me in the firing line of bullets rather than with a woman I love in my arms. I guess I’ll have to accept that I had it right in the first place. Jobs can only cause physical pain. I can only lose my life. What Michelle has taught me is that love can cause me to lose so much more. Love can tear me apart from the inside out and leave me bleeding and exposed for everyone to see what a fool I am. Max must be able to see that, and I’m sure others will too. I’m about to be the fool who fell for the first woman he worked with and made a total wreck of his life in the process. Fucking wonderful.

22

MICHELLE

“So, yeah, this is my room for the… the night,” the man drunkenly hiccups as he lets me inside. I’ve worked so fucking hard for this invitation, it’s nearly destroyed me and this poor guy, who has now told me he only likes to be referred to as ‘Buck’, but we’re here. Buck might be drunk off his ass and still pretty unpleasant, but Katya can put her gun away. “It’s shitty, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know, it seems pretty nice to me.” I half-carry him in, still keeping the pretense up that I want to flirt with him. “I’ve never been somewhere so fancy before. You must be a very important man, Buck. That’s so exciting.”

“I’m ah… only here for a meeting.” He slumps back on the bed and belches loudly. It takes every bit of self-control I have not to screw up my face in utter disgust. What a pig. “My house is so much fucking better. Now that, you would love. But I got to go where I’m told to because these meetings all have to be very serious and, er, what’s the word? Private. No one can know.”

“Ooh, so you are important, then?” I perch on the bed beside him and rest my hand on his arm. I know that physical contact is keywhen establishing a connection with my target, but this is about all I can manage. “I love a powerful man.”

He has a briefcase over in the corner of the room. I spotted that the moment I came in. It’s hanging open, too, which means Buck wasn’t expecting guests tonight. He’s made my job just a little bit easier. Now, I just need to get through the whole seducing him part so Alexander doesn’t kill me for being so close and fucking things up for him. Much as I don’t want to be in the middle of this dangerous mess and I don’t want to get any paperwork for anyone, I also don’t want anyone to die.

Well, anyoneelse, that is, since it seems that I’ve already lost one of the most important people to me.

Don’t think about him, I scold myself. Think about getting this over and done with. Think about getting away.

I don’t just want to be free from this job. I want to be separated from my Russian ties completely. I almost had that. Max made it so I was as close to being an American citizen as I can be, and that’s what I need again. I don’t think that Alexander will ever make that so, but it might be something that I can achieve alone when the time is right.

“You love a powerful man, huh?” He tries to reach over to me. I think he wants to pull me on top of him, but he’s too drunk to do so. I’m ashamed to admit that for the briefest of seconds, I think about the blade in my bag before I push that thought away. No one needs to die here, not even this disgusting, gross man. “Come over here and I’ll show you a powerful man.”

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