Page 25 of Protected By the SEAL

She nods silently, not really giving me anything, not even letting me know whether she needs any help or not, so I take a couple of giant strides across the room to close the gap between us. I can’t stand the distance between us, physically and emotionally, and I want to do whatever I can to change that. I hold her in my arms and press my lips to hers, kissing her gently.

But the usual sparks of joy that I experience when we’re kissing aren’t there this time. She’s too stiff, no longer responding to me. She’s basically giving me the cold shoulder. I know it might not be because of me, but rather the situation instead, but it still hurts. It sends me reeling back to a place where I’m single and alone, without Cassie, which will destroy me. I’ve been okay being single before, it hasn’t bothered me, I haven’t been worried about it. But now… now, I’ll be without her. Being without Cassie will kill me. I kinda knew that things were goingto get complicated from here on out, but I didn’t think that it would change so rapidly.

I step back, I almost fall away from her as humiliation comes racing through me. It hits me hard that this is some kind of harsh rejection, even if that isn’t the way Cassie sees it herself. She probably isn’t aware of her actions, but still, I’m stung.

“I’m just going to head outside for a second while I make a call,” I tell her rapidly. “I'd better contact Max.”

Cassie still gives me nothing. She barely even nods. I guess she isn’t too concerned with my feelings, so I grab the cellphone off the table and take myself outside the room to try and gather myself up. I suck in deep breaths of air, trying to cool my body down, before I hit the dial button and wait for Max to pick up and give me some good news.

“Hey, Benji, is everything okay?” Max sounds a little harassed as he speaks to me. “I’m just working on your ride now.”

“How is the weather?” I ask desperately as I rake my fingers through my hair, tugging on the ends to let some of the stress out. “Are the conditions any better? We really need to get out of here now.Ineed to get out of here now.”

My heart is already breaking. I can’t let Cassie see how much damage is happening inside my body right now. I don’t want her to know how hurt I am. She already has enough on her shoulders without me adding to it. On top of what she’s just been through, she also has her family and the video drama to deal with. I can cope with my broken heart alone.

“Things are improving,” Max confirms. “The plane will be leaving here soon. Then we need to work out what to do withCassie. I’m negotiating with her father right now, trying to work out whether we’re going to send her home to her family, where he wants her to be, or if she’s going to come back here so we can keep her safe and out of danger for a while. Either way, she’s going to need security, so I have to make sure that we do the best thing for everyone. Once I have details on all of that, I’ll be in touch.”

I kinda want to tell him about what happened with me and Cassie, just because I need some advice, even if I get yelled at, purely because I need a friendly ear to hear what’s going on, to care about things from my point of view, but I end up keeping my mouth shut. I don’t say a damn thing because as much as I want advice, I don’t want to hear it, either. I mean, there’s no way in hell that he’s going to tell me that I should keep fighting for her, is there? He will insist that I walk away.

“Right, thank you, Max,” I say instead. “I appreciate everything that you’re doing for me here. It’s great.”

“Well, I just apologize because it hasn’t been the smoothest of rides. I know it’s been challenging for you. We can discuss it all properly when you’re back here and it’s time for us to do the debriefing. We can talk about protocols and stuff…”

I slide my eyes closed and tune the rest of his words out because I don’t think I can handle the idea of normality right now. I can’t sit in that office and act like everything is normal when my life is falling apart around me, when I’m losing it all.

Eventually, we say our goodbyes and hang up the phone, but I don’t go back inside right away. I need a few more seconds to get myself in order before I face Cassie. I’m sure that she’s doing the same thing, getting her head straightened out. I do need to tellher about the plan, though. I need to give her the chance to make a decision on her own. Does she want to go back to her family or would she rather come with me? Max didn’t factor in Cassie’s opinion, did he?

Just face her,I tell myself angrily.Face her, it’s only Cassie. She hasn’t turned into a monster or something.

“Cassie?” I declare instantly as soon as I open the door. “I just wanted to discuss something with you, if you have a…”

I don’t get to finish that sentence because I find Cassie sitting in front of the TV, really close to the screen, watching the news report which features her kidnapping video in which she looks more terrified than I’ve ever seen her.

“My name is Cassie Jones,” she begins on the screen, her voice absolutely trembling. I can’t even see the Cassie sitting in front of me right now because all I can focus on is her. “Here’s today’s newspaper. I… I’ve been kidnapped and my life is in… in danger. I might be killed unless money is paid to keep me alive. Dad, I need you to pay so I can live.”

The man who I can only assume is one of the kidnappers under that mask makes his demands and stabs Cassie in the leg. Even though I already knew that part was going to happen, and I’ve made sure that she’s okay, it makes me wince to watch it.

“I… I… Dad, I want to get out of here. I’m scared and hurt. I can’t seem to escape this. Please, just pay him. Money isn’t worth my life. Keep me alive, please.” Uh-oh. Now I know what she was so worried about. Now it all makes so much sense.

“That sounds horrible, doesn’t it?” she gasps out in tears. “I hate how that makes me sound. How it makes my family sound. Iwish I could take it back, but I was desperate. I didn’t mean for that to happen, but… but…”

All I can do is comfort her, but I know it isn’t going to be enough. Even as I wrap my arms around her, I know that it won’t be enough, but I have to try. I can only do my best to make her feel a little less shitty. But it isn’t enough.

22

CASSIE

The whole world will be watching this. Or at least everyone that I know will be. I’ve shied away from the limelight for as long as I can, but there’s no keeping away from it now. Everyone is going to want a piece of me, and I won’t be able to keep away from it all. I won’t be able to avoid the cameras in my face at all times. It’s going to be a nightmare.

“Look at this,” I mutter as the news footage continues. “Look at how the press are acting outside my house.”

I know my parents aren’t there because Benji has already let me know about their lockdown in safety somewhere, but it doesn’t make it any easier. This is an interesting story, it’s a fascinating one, and the press won’t give it up easily. I wouldn’t be surprised if they remain camped outside my house for ages, just waiting for something to happen.

My chest feels tight. I don’t know if I can breathe. I lean forward and rest my palms on the floor, trying desperately to suck in air. Everything is out of my control. I don’t have the power to dictate anything anymore, but it’s too much.

“They won’t find your family.” Benji does his best to reassure me. “You don’t need to worry about that one. Max will have them somewhere safe and sound, out of sight so no one can get to them. It’s going to be fine, I promise you that much.”

I know what he’s saying to me, and I do get it, but I can’t form any kind of words right now. I don’t know how to say anything.

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