Page 6 of Guarded By the SEAL

5

PETRA

My growling stomach drags me from my sleep. To be honest, I can’t recall the last time that I ate something. It might not have been today at all, so I need to change that. I don’t know how much more I can cope without a decent meal in my system. The only issue is I’m not at home where I can make whatever I feel like. I’m in some strange safehouse on some goddamn island, so I don’t know what I can eat.

There really needs to be something here. I don’t think I can head to a store, so I’m hoping I can just find something in the cupboards to satisfy me for the time being.

I groan as I rise up, every part of me aching as I do so, and I glance at my disheveled reflection in the mirror. I look about as shitty as I feel, but I suppose I’m not here to impress anyone, so it doesn’t matter. Harry isn’t going to care what I look like. I don’t think he has even noticed me yet, which is a good thing. I don’t want anyone really looking at me at the moment. To be perfectly honest, if it weren’t for the whole protection thing, Iwould much prefer to be here alone. I don’t need the company of anyone.

I creep down the stairs on my tiptoes, not wanting to make any noise. I don’t know if Harry is sleeping, and if he is, I would prefer him to stay that way. Not only because of the long drive he took to get us here, plus a boat ride, but also so I don’t have to make small talk with him. I don’t think we’re going to have a lot to say to one another. I can’t picture us bonding over anything at all, so avoiding each other is better.

But he isn’t around. At least, I can’t see any sign of him, which allows me to relax somewhat. I head into the kitchen, ready to check everything out, but I find a wrapped-up plate with my name on it.

“Oh, wow.” I have to admit that I’m impressed. I don’t think cooking is in Harry’s job description, so he’s done this out of the goodness of his heart. I think I must still be pretty emotional because I find this very touching. He’s clearly a tough guy, but there must be a nice side to him as well. “Thank you, Harry. Wherever you may be. You have no idea how much this means to me right now.”

As I heat the food up, I actually spot him patrolling the area with his gun tightly in his hand. He has the appearance of an action hero, which would be awesome if only my life weren’t in danger. I suppose I could go and get his attention to let him know that I’m awake now if he wants to stop searching, but I don’t. I don’t really know what to say to the man, and it makes me feel kinda shy.

Since when am I shy? Quieter than others, maybe. I’m not always the most talkative person in the world, but I haven’t felt a coyness like this in a very long time. It has to be the crazinessof the day really getting to me now, changing me and making me feel all weird about everything.

“I will thank you later, Harry,” I whisper to him through the window. “When you come back inside.”

I don’t want to stand by the window watching him like a weirdo, so I grab the food, possibly before it’s really hot enough, and head over to the table with the plate. It’s only when I sit down that I realize how dry my mouth is. If I don’t have some water, I might dry the hell up.

The moment I’m pouring the cold water into the glass, I spot it. The thing I need more than anything else in the world right now. I wouldn’t have even thought about it had I not seen it, but now there is an intense craving deep within me. I need it or I might actually explode. The tension from the day might wash over me and crush me completely. I just need a little something to take the edge off…

“Fuck it.” I grab the bottle of wine and take it over to the table with me. “I deserve this.”

Any woman who has been through what I have today would want a drink as well, and I wouldn’t stop any one of them. No one should have their whole world fall apart without a drink if they want one. If for some reason I’m not allowed to have a drink while I’m here, then the wine wouldn’t be in the cupboard.

At least, that’s the excuse I’m using for myself and I’m sticking with it.

I pour myself a big glass, much larger than I would have ever allowed myself at a dinner party with Jake or my father, and I enjoy letting it flow through my body and calm me down at last. Fuck looking ladylike or doing what is expected of me. I don’tneed to worry about any of that here. It’s just me and Harry, who is outside doing his thing, so I can behave in whatever goddamn way I want.

“Cheers,” I giggle as I mock clinking my glass against someone else’s. “Cheers to fucking everything up.”

Not that I did anything wrong aside from fall in love with the wrong guy and let him ruin my life for me. Although I guess that’s a pretty big one. You know, what Harry said to me before was right. Everything is going to be massively different for me when I get back home to real life. Nothing will be the same again.

Uh-oh. I might be drunk. I don’t quite know when that happened, when I tipped over the edge from tipsy and amusing myself to blurry-eyed and messy, but it’s definitely happened. Probably the moment I drained the last of the wine bottle, if I’m going to be honest with myself.

Not that I’m upset about it. If anything, it’s a good thing. I’m actually enjoying myself on this godforsaken hell-hole of an island in the middle of nowhere. I’m making myself laugh rather than worrying about what the hell Harry is still doing out there, or if Jake has massively overreacted to my vanishing. I would much rather dance around in the kitchen to music that I can only hear in my head than cry.

“No more tears for me,” I sing loudly, knowing that no one can hear me. “I’m not crying for any fucker anymore.” I toss my head back and laugh noisily. “No one deserves my tears. In fact, I’m going to hunt myself down another bottle of this delicious wine to keep the party going.”

I open and close the cupboards, banging them around as if I want to wake up the neighbors. The funny thing is that we have no neighbors. There isn’t anyone here but me. Well, and Harry.

“Harry is here, looking after me.” I don’t even care that I’m out of tune and making a total fool out of myself. I like not being expected to behave like a lady. It’s fun. “I don’t know where he is, but he’s my savior. He is going to… to keep me alive and stuff. Without him, my husband might kill me.”

I can’t seem to find any more wine, which is annoying. I’m not done partying yet. If this isn’t an excuse to party the night away, then I don’t know what is. How many other women right now are in this situation, hiding from a husband who might kill or sell them? It’s insane.

“But Jake will be the one who has to worry if he does anything to my daddy.”

All of a sudden, it hits me hard that I haven’t had any information about my dad yet. Harry said that he would let me know as soon as he’s heard anything, but he’s been avoiding me. At least, I think he’s avoiding the insane drunk person dancing and singing in the kitchen. It makes sense for him to be doing so. But he has to have heard something from his boss by now. Otherwise, there could be real danger.

I can’t worry about my dad anymore. I need to know what’s going on. I’ve been patient for far too long. But how can I find anything out without actually talking to Harry? I don’t really want to get him because then it’ll lead to more conversation, and I have a feeling that he will want to kill my buzz.

“His bag.” Perhaps if I hadn’t drunk so much, this wouldn’t seem like the best idea, but because I’m all giddy and acting insane, itseems genius. I mean, Harry hasn’t been private with his bag or anything. It’s just sitting in the middle of the room without a lock on it or anything. If he’s all about security, then he must know that I can take a look if I want to… and I really want to. I can’t help myself. “Should I?”

Rationally, I still know that this is the worst idea of all time, yet the cheeky side of me yearns to act out. I mean, I’m not doing it for bad reasons, am I? I’m doing it to know what’s happening with my father. I’m not the only one in danger. Out here, I’m safer than my father. Jake could really get to him, so by doing this, I’m just checking in on him. I really don’t think that Harry can be mad about it.

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