Page 4 of Guarded By the SEAL

“But what about my speaking to him? I can’t go all this time without hearing his voice.”

“How do you think safehouses work?” Harry looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You have to be completely isolated. Clearly, you have chosen this route for a reason. There’s someone who’s threatening you, and you can’t risk it all for your cellphone. This is how it has to be until it’s safe.”

I pull out my cellphone, my lifeline, my link to back home, and I hold it sadly in my hands. I don’t know if I would have agreed to this had I thought I would have to leave everything behind, but at the same time, I know Harry’s right. There’s no point in going through all of this just to lead Jake right to me.

I hate doing this, but I hand my cellphone over to Harry because it’s the right direction to head in. He takes it from me and yanks out the battery before leaning out the car window and tossing it into the ocean.

“Hey!” I yell loudly. “Are you kidding me right now? That’s my phone. What are you doing?”

“You can’t have it,” he replies simply, as if it’s obvious. “You don’t need it at the moment.”

“No, but now I can’t get it again when we’re done here, can I? I will need it one day.”

“It’ll be better for you to get a new one anyway, to start fresh. I always recommend that. After an experience like this, you need to have a fresh beginning. You will feel it too, believe me.”

Why is he being such an uptight asshole about it? His attitude is really pissing me off. Does he not realize that this is pretty traumatic for me? That I’m already losing a lot and I don’t need to lose more? He doesn’t even have to know my situation, which I’m sure he does, to realize that I’m all confused and messed up.My life has simply vanished. I have nothing left, and now I have no cellphone.

A cellphone is like a freaking organ. People need one to live, and now I’m going to be in the middle of nowhere with nothing. I can’t stop myself from fucking fuming about the whole thing. Perhaps it’s making me act a little bratty, but I don’t give a shit. I can’t help raging like crazy. I might be giving the one person I have to spend all my time with for God knows how long a bad impression of me, but I don’t care.

“We will be there in a moment,” Harry repeats as if I need reminding. “It’ll be better then.”

The island is dark when we arrive. I can’t see a lot, but a small house stands out. It definitely isn’t the largest house I’ve ever seen. It’s probably going to be the tiniest place I’ve ever lived in, but there’s a beauty to it as well. Maybe because it’s so isolated, so remote, so sweet and different.

It kinda looks like a sweet little country cottage, surrounded by flowers and wildlife. The sort from a fairy tale, which surprises me. I don’t know what I thought a safehouse would look like, but it isn’t this.

“You want to go inside first and pick a bedroom?” Harry asks me. “I don’t mind where I sleep.”

I nod silently and head inside, grateful for this moment to check out the house by myself. I flick the light on in every single room and breathe each and every one in. Because I’m used to a lot more space, I can’t help but wonder how we are going to avoid one another. It seems like it’s going to take a lot of tiptoeing around each other. We’re strangers with absolutely nothing tosay to one another. I can’t imagine hanging out with him or anything like that. It’ll be much too weird.

“This room will do.” I toss my bags down onto the bedsheets and sigh heavily. “I don’t care.”

I don’t really care about anything at this moment. I’m numb, empty. I feel senseless and aimless. I don’t have any direction. I’m just stuck in this remote place with nowhere to go. At least, for the foreseeable future. And I won’t even be able to speak to my father to help get me through this.

I head back down the stairs to find Harry dragging in a bag behind him. Because he isn’t looking at me, I get to stare at him for a moment. He’s very muscular and strong-looking, which is good for protection, I suppose. Actually, he’s really a tall, dark, and handsome man, you know, if I were looking at him in that way. I’m not, though, since I’m a married woman. Well, married to a monster, sure, but still… definitely not looking for someone else. I kinda feel glad that he’s here, though. That I’m not alone.

“Have you heard anything from my dad yet?” I ask Harry, needing to know. “Or Max or whoever?”

“Not yet,” he tells me without even bothering to look at his phone. “As soon as I do, I will let you know.”

“Do you think you could check in with him? Because I’m really worried about Dad. I don’t like the idea of anything happening to him because of me. I’ll be honest, it’s freaking me out.”

“I will send a message, but I can’t promise that I’ll get a reply right away. As soon as I do, I’ll tell you.”

He doesn’t get it, does he? I can just tell. Harry is a practical man, not one who understands emotional bonds. He’s probablyhad a military job in the past in which focusing on what needs to be done is the only goal. He doesn’t think about anything else, and that includes my fucking desperation to know that Jake hasn’t done anything to my father. If he has, I might have to get off this goddamn island and kill him.

I fold my arms across my chest and stare at Harry while he sends off a text message. Like he predicted, there isn’t a response right away, which leaves me frustrated and upset. I just want to know what’s going on at home. I ran away in such a blur, in such a rush, that I forgot all the things I want to say.

Now, I might never get the chance. I can’t stand the idea that I don’t know what will happen next. It’s scary. I have always wanted to control what my destiny is, but now I’m helpless. Hopeless and standing here, just waiting for something to happen. Waiting for my father to contact me, to let me know that he’s alive. Harry has more control over my fucking life than I do at the moment, which I hate because I don’t even know the guy. He doesn’t know me either, not really, which makes it even worse.

I wait for a little while, but there is nothing, and I feel a bit weird just watching Harry settle in, so I stomp back up the stairs to hang out in my bedroom, which is my only private space and where I’m sure I will be spending a lot of time while we’re here, keeping out of his way. If Harry can’t understand why my heart is breaking, then what the fuck am I going to do? How can I even speak to him at all?

I lie my body, which is somehow still weary despite the fact that I’ve been asleep for hours, onto the bed and consider everything that has just happened. Today has been insane, one of the weirdest days of all time, and I don’t know how to process any of it. Tears roll hard and fast down my cheeks as it begins to washover me just a little bit. I mean, how fucked up is this? It’s a goddamn nightmare.

I curl up around myself, practically into the fetal position. I cling to my knees and wail. I don’t know if Harry can hear me, but I’m sure he wouldn’t give a shit even if he could. He isn’t that sort of man, is he? He would happily let me weep like a fucking baby. I could use a friend here to support me, to hug me… not that I have a lot of friends, actually. Now that I think about it, Jake has pushed all of them away as well.

Wow, I’m a fool. The more that I think about it, the more of an idiot I’ve been.

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