Page 23 of Guarded By the SEAL

“I see.” He doesn’t sound surprised. Fucking hell, did he believe me about the hat more than he let on? That’s going to wind me up because the paranoia is what sent me over the edge. If I had known that I had support, then I might not have left Petra alone to end up getting kidnapped. Kidnapped and God knows whatelse. I don’t even want to imagine what might be happening to her. “Right, well since we’re here, closer to where she’s likely to be taken, I will sort things. Jake is still here, so that makes sense.”

“And her father?” I demand. “Is he still around? I know you’re friends with him, but what if he’s betrayed her or something? What if we’ve been fucking fools in all of this? I can’t understand it.”

“Harry, you need to calm down.” Max’s considered tone of voice sets me on edge. “You’re acting like you’re more emotionally invested in this case than you need to be. You know what I always say, emotions lead to mistakes and bad decisions. We can’t change what has happened now,so we need to focus on making it right. That can’t be done without a clear head. Do you understand me?”

I should feel guilty at Max’s words, especially since the accusation is true. I am far too emotionally invested. I might even be more involved in this mentally than for someone who simply slept with Petra. The need to find her is unbearable, and it’s a lot to do with wanting to hold her again, not just wanting to know that she’s alive. But I don’t feel bad for feeling that way at all. I can’t help it. I need to see her again.

“Where is Jake?” I bark. “Have you got eyes on him now? You need to keep an eye out for suspicious behavior. And with her father as well. I don’t know why, but I don’t think we can trust him.”

I don’t know if I trust anyone when it comes to Petra. No one but myself. I am the only one who knows her enough and cares enough to find her, but there’s no point in upsetting Max withthat revelation. He’s my only ally in the area at the moment. I have to keep him on my side.

But no matter what happens, I can be sure that I won’t give up. Even if everyone else does.

“Jake, I know where he is,” Max admits, but I detect a slightly sheepish tone to his voice. My sharp ears pick up on every nuance, and there is definitely going to be something I don’t like coming up. “Her father, I spoke to earlier today, but I’ve been having a little trouble locating him more recently. I don’t know if this is something to worry about, though. It has been the case on more than one occasion.”

“I think you should start worrying about it now. Petra is gone too.” I feel like a fucking volcano with rage spilling violently out of me. “This has just become some red alert shit. We have to track Jake now at all turns, and you need to find the father as well. Someone is to blame here.”

Max doesn’t rise to my anger. I guess this is why he’s the boss, because he can keep his head in any situation, because he can tune out my panic. “I understand. We’re on it, Harry. You can trust us.”

“I’m on my way back. I’ll be there soon, Max. Then I will do whatever it takes to keep Petra safe.”

Much to his credit, Max accepts this. He doesn’t ask any questions about my intentions or anything like that. He confirms that he will do the same and hangs up the phone. But I suppose I should question my own intentions. I do need to work out why I’m so obsessed with Petra, because it will come up. If not from Max, then Benji, and eventually, maybe even Petra herself. Perhaps.

“I don’t like to lose,” I remind myself, even though I know that isn’t really it. “We share a connection. A bond. We’ve both been burned by love. We get one another, even if we didn’t like each other at first.”

But really, I know that it’s her beautiful smile, it’s the way that she manages to make me laugh, even if she’s very different to me and we come from opposite ends of the spectrum. It’s how gorgeous her face is contorted in ecstasy, how much she managed to get under my skin without even really trying. It’s the way she has been at the forefront of my mind ever since I met her. The woman has me churned up in ways that I was not expecting, and because of that, I’m addicted to her. I absolutely can’t get enough.

This might be feelings, real and scary feelings. Yet instead of running away from them, I’m racing toward them, driving faster than I’ve ever gone before. That speaks absolute volumes to me.

The office is chaotic. I’m glad to find so much activity, so many people working, doing many different things. I’m relieved that I can now trust Max for really being on the case. Everyone is doing what they can to find Petra, which is amazing. What sucks is that they haven’t done it yet. It shouldn’t take this long.

“Benji.” Immediately, I seek out my friend because I know I’ll get some honesty from him. Unfortunately, he’s in the middle of an important call so he holds up a finger to make me wait. I don’t have the patience for waiting. I bounce up and down on my feet until he eventually hangs up. “What’s going on?”

“Er, have you not seen Max yet?” I don’t like the look on his face. It freaks me out even more when I shake my head and all the color drains from his cheeks. “We’ve lost track of everyone. This hasn’t ever happened before, and it’s sent the whole place into a tailspin. We are paid too much for this.”

Benji continues talking, but I don’t hear him. My icy cold blood freezes my whole body. I already knew that we were fighting a new battle when I heard about Jake’s connections, but I didn’t think that it would be enough to outsmart Max. No one has ever done that. Someone has been on top of things all the time. No wonder Petra got kidnapped. Maybe the hat was planted on purpose. I guess they would have gotten to her eventually no matter what I did, but that doesn’t make me feel any less shitty. I’m a dumb idiot, that’s what.

We’re fucked. Petra is going to face a fate worse than death. I’m about to lose her. I can’t stand the idea of that. It creates an actual physical pain deep inside me. Like my heart is on the edge of exploding. Even during the worst time of my life, when I lost everything, it didn’t feel quite as intense as this.

“No,” I hiss as I stagger backward. “No, this can’t be happening. Are you joking me? Where is Max?”

“Max is in with the cops right now, filling them in on everything. He said that no one can disturb him.”

“Well, I’m not hanging around here. No way. I can’t wait for him, Benji. I have to get out there and find her.” My fingers curl around the gun in my pocket. “Tell him to find me using the chip if he needs me.”

The tracking device that I never wanted to be used is now going to be the only way that Max can stop me from doing this if heneeds me to. I don’t care if the cops are helping out. It isn’t enough. I’m not letting things get to a point where it’s too late. I can’t even begin to imagine what that will do to me.

“But Harry.” Benji spots the determined expression on my face and stops himself. “Be careful.”

“Yeah, I will. Maybe just… keep an eye on where I am. I don’t know what these assholes are capable of, so I don’t know what ocean they will toss my body in if they overpower me. Okay, Benji?”

I shoot him a smile to let him know that I’m really just joking, but he pales even more. That probably wasn’t the wisest shit I’ve ever said right before I’m heading out to face worse people than we have ever dealt with before, but if I can’t joke about it, then it’ll swallow me up whole.

“Sorry, just kidding around.” I wave my hand dismissively, but Benji still doesn’t seem impressed. “I will be back before you know it, and I’ll have Petra with me as well. Fuck that Mob guy.”

Benji parts his lips as if he wants to ask me something, which I’m pretty sure will end up being something about my feelings, but thankfully, he seems to realize that this isn’t the time. He snaps his mouth closed again and nods encouragingly in my direction.

Without another word, I head back to the car and speed off once more, all the while spinning back over every conversation I ever had with Petra to see if there are any clues to her whereabouts in them. She obviously isn’t in any of the expected places because I know Max will have checked them. This is where my knowledge of her and my listening skills will come into play. Thankfully, she always fascinated me so I could easily pay attention. I’m sure that she said a lot of things in relation to her husband…

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