Page 10 of Guarded By the SEAL

“Not really,” I shoot back wryly. “This woman doesn’t understand how good she has it. She has no idea how lucky she is to be protected like she is. This is all just an inconvenience to her.”

“I suppose it’s pretty tough for her,” Benji declares, trying to be rational and see both sides. Does he not understand that I just need to rant right now? “It’s a fucked-up situation, isn’t it? I mean, from what we’ve seen from this end, it runs pretty deep. I don’t even think she knows how bad it is.”

“Hmm, yeah, I guess.” God, what I wouldn’t give to be on the other side of this, learning more about the dangers of everything and working in the middle of the excitement. “Well, it’s making her bratty. You know better than anyone how I feel about spoiled people. I don’t know how I can do this.”

“Uh-oh, sounds like trouble,” Benji teases me. “You know, there is a thin line between love and hate.”

“Will you stop that? Honestly, Benji, that is not going to happen here. Not a chance. I couldn’t imagine it.”

Okay, so she is beautiful, not that I’m going to express that to Benji, or he will leap on it and drive me insane, and I do think that there might be a nicer side to her there, but I’m not even thinking about anything romantic. I would like to simply be civil with her. I don’t even need friendship…

“Okay, okay, I know I’m getting on your nerves.”Benji laughs. “But how are you? Aside from dealing with a nightmare woman, you are all safe and everything? Not getting inside your own head?”

“Safe, yes. I don’t know about getting in my own head. It’s pretty quiet out here.”

He knows what I mean. Benji understands that I’ve been thinking about the past again and wondering what went wrong and how it all happened, but I can’t help it. Even if things have been over for a long time, it’s the damage done to me that my friend worries about. I will be okay, though. I have to be.

“I’m keeping busy, though,” I reassure him. “So, you don’t need to worry about that. I don’t exactly have a lot of time to think when I’m a babysitter as well as protection. It’s going to be okay.”

“It'd better be, buddy.” Benji sighs. “I hope you know that you can call me any time and I will help you out as much as I can. Even if you just need a friendly ear, I can help you out.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” I smile to myself. “Actually, there is something that you could do. Keep me up to date on the client’s father. Like, all the time, as much as you can. She is obsessed with asking me and doesn’t like it when I don’t have an answer for her. I know that you can’t give me any details over the phone or anything like that, but a simple ‘yeah, the guy is good’ will help me massively.”

Benji laughs. “I offer you all the help in the world and you want help for her. That says something, doesn’t it? He is perfectly well at the moment, and I will keep you up to date.”

I decide to ignore his little dig at me. “Thanks, Benji. I'd better get back, but I will call you later.”

We say our goodbyes, but I don’t head inside straight away. I pause in the peacefulness of outside before I go back inside. I’m pretty sure that this is going to be easier for me because I have the information that she wants now. The chip might fall off Petra’s shoulder for a while, which will be nice.

“I just heard that your dad is fine,” I call out, not waiting to hold that in any longer than I have to. “I don’t have any details again, but at least you know he’s still all good. I know you’ve been worried.”

My words trail off when I find Petra a sobbing mess. She was fine a moment ago, I could have sworn it. A little pissed off about her injury and everything, but not crying. We were talking about lunch. I was in the middle of making sandwiches. There certainly wasn’t an emotional outburst happening.

“What happened?” I ask as I rush over to her. Even if it’s going to be a nightmare to get medical treatment over here, I will do it if that’s what she needs. The pain must be worse than I thought.

“Nothing, I’m sorry.” She sniffs miserably. “I just keep trying my hardest not to think about it all, but I can’t help it. I can’t stop thinking about it, which sucks. It’s too much, you know?”

“Er… what… what do you mean?” I ask awkwardly. My Navy SEAL training didn’t exactly teach me how to deal with emotional situations quite like this one. The opposite, really. I know how to turn it off but not how to help someone else with it. “Sorry if I’ve missed something here. I just want to help.”

“Everything.” She shrugs helplessly. “It keeps hitting me. Like, how I thought I had the perfect life, and I didn’t. How I didn’t see who Jake really is, so I must be stupid. Although, how did I not see who he really is? That’s what I keep asking myself. I knew that his second cellphone wasn’t for an affair. I knew that his secret warehouse on the Old Bridge Lane industrial property wasn’t just for poker games. I knew that there was something a little shady about him, but I just chose not to see it. And look where that got me. I wasn’t just turning a blind eye. I was putting myself in the firing line of danger. The second cellphone is his criminal cellphone, the one that connects him to the fucking Mob or whatever. And God knows what goes on at his secret warehouse. Is it where he keeps stolen goods or illegal weapons? Does he kill people there? Is it somehow linked to the sex trafficking ring? I don’t know, and it scares me. I keep thinking of everything. I can’t stop myself. I can’t just forget it. Plus, there are other women, aren’t there? There have to be.”

“I don’t know how much this helps you, Petra, but my boss is looking into it as part of the protection. He will do whatever he can to make sure that you can go back to a safe life at the endof it. So, really, you might end up helping all those other women because the criminals could end up in jail.”

She shoots me a disbelieving look. “Do you really think that will happen? Because the more that I think about it, the crazier it seems, the more people are probably involved. This could be huge.”

“Huge criminal organizations do get taken down. It’s very possible. Especially with the right people working on it. You won’t get any better than my company. You will be fine.”

“I just don’t know if I will ever feel safe again, and that is a really scary thought.”

I watch her face fall into a place of real vulnerability, and it’s the first time I think I have really seen her since I first picked her up. She’s cracking. The façade is falling off. The woman isn’t angry but hurting now, letting all the pain in. I know that expression. I have worn it myself one too many times.

“Anything that threatens us is scary,” I reassure her. “And I get that you are afraid for your father as well, maybe even more so, but he is taking his own precautions to look after himself and I’m sure he knows what he’s doing. He doesn’t seem like he would be the sort of person to let himself get hurt.”

“If he did, it would be my fault.” She folds her arms over her chest and lets tears leak down her face. “I would never be able to trust myself again. I don’t think I will ever be able to put my trust in another person for the rest of my life.” She eyes me for a moment. “Except maybe you because I don’t have a choice.”

Her unexpected joke makes the pair of us laugh, which is a very weird feeling. We haven’t shared any positive communication so far. It’s all been combative, but I like this much better.

“Yeah, sorry that you’re stuck with only me to trust, but I won’t let you down,” I reassure her. “And I can also promise you that you are not the only person in the world to make a foolish mistake when it comes to love. You won’t be the first and you won’t be the last, so you can’t blame yourself for anything that goes wrong. You were manipulated in the worst possible way. So, really, don’t worry.”

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