Page 14 of Got to be You

“Jax?” Of all the time that we’ve been hanging out together, he hasn’t ever met me from class before. Usually, because he’s too busy doing his own thing, and to be honest, when I come out of class, I’m normally still swimming in what I’ve just learned so I don’t need to see him anyway, but today is different.

Today is Friday. Of course it is. I can’t believe I’ve forgotten his first day of playing with the band.

“Lilly, oh, my God, Lilly.” He grabs me and kisses me before spinning me around in his excitement. I can only assume from this that everything went well, but I still want to hear it firsthand. “Oh, Lilly. Today was incredible. The best day of my life. It was absolutely amazing. The other guys, Spike and Harry, they’re so cool, and we sound so good together. I did a little video of us to show you.”

I’m touched that he was thinking of me while playing with his new band. That’s so sweet, but it also puts me in the dangerous position of falling a little deeper because right now, he seems tofeel the same way too… but soon enough, all of this will take him on a whirlwind and he’s bound to forget about me.

“Oh, wow.” I take the phone from him as I watch the band. He’s right, they’re amazing. They have a definite connection which comes through right away. I’m impressed. “I could imagine going to watch you guys play live somewhere. I bet you will end up taking LA and the world by storm.”

“Speaking of which,” he replies happily, “Will is arranging for us all to meet with a record label or two in Hollywood in the next couple of weeks. We might be signed within a month. Can you believe it?”

“This month?” Wow, that’s taken the air right out of my lungs. “But that’s so soon. What about college?”

“I thought of that. I’m only at college to end up making it in the music biz. Why put it off?” He shrugs his shoulders in a nonchalant way, showing me that he isn’t too bothered at all. He’s too thrilled with what’s coming next. Maybe if I were offered my dream job, I would feel the same way. “I know my father might not be best pleased, but he’ll soon see that this is what I want. The other guys in the band have skepticism with this, but we’re all going to show our families that we can do this. It’s going to be amazing.”

“Wow, so you might end up leaving this college before me, then?” This is supposed to be a joke, so I don’t know why it comes out so strangled. “Who would have ever thought that?”

“I know, crazy, huh?” He takes my hand lightly in his and we start walking. I don’t even know where we’re going. I don’t even look. I just follow him wherever the hell he’s going to learn what his plan is. “But isn’t this amazing? I feel like the luckiest guyin the world right now. Not many people get to live their dream fresh out of college… not even fresh out of college, but while I’m in the middle of it.”

“That’s wonderful. I’m so happy for you.” I need to sound happy. Why do I not sound happy at all? “So, we need to celebrate tonight, don’t we? Do you want another party? I don’t mind.”

“No way, just you and me, like we said before.” He leans over and kisses me. “I want to spend the night with you. I want to take you out, I want you to treat you to dinner. Please, you have to let me.”

My heart tears apart in my chest once more. I don’t know how to take this. It’s such a mind fuck, such a rollercoaster. One minute, I’m soaring and the next, I’m brought back down to earth with a thump. But this isn’t about me. This is about Jax and his success, so I can do whatever he needs me to do.

“Sure, that sounds lovely, Jax.” I grin, even though I don’t feel that way. “I’d love that.”

“We need to talk about us, don’t we?” He shoots me a wink. “Because despite what I said to you before, I don’t actually expect you to follow me anywhere I go, but if I’m in LA, we’ll have to make it work.”

“You want to still be with me?” I’m so shocked to hear him say that when I’m preparing for the end.

“Of course, silly.” He chuckles. “You don’t get this sort of connection every day, do you? I don’t want to lose that. I don’t want to lose you. I think you I and have something worth hanging onto.”

“I see,” I drawl slowly. “And you have a plan for that, do you? A way to work it out.”

“Hey, with technology, anything can be worked out. I have full faith in us.”

He takes me back to my room and kisses me at the door with promises to come and pick me up for our date later on, and by the time he goes, I don’t know where I’m at. All over the place, to be honest. I’m happy that good things are happening for Jax. I would have to be a monster not to want that for him, but it all seems to be happening at a scary pace. I’m not quite ready to say goodbye to him yet. Even with the knowledge that it’s only supposed to be a short-term thing, I’m not ready to say farewell.

“Are you okay?” Anna asks as soon as she sees me. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Er, yeah, I kinda feel like I have.” I have to take a seat. I can hardly remain standing upright any longer. “Jax might be signed to a record label and leaving college before graduation.”

“That’s wild.” Anna’s eyes light up in excitement. “That’s so good for him and will make him really happy. Adam, back when we didn’t hate each other, said that he was worried about Jax being miserable at college. Oh.” Realization hits her hard. “But it might upset Adam a lot.”

“Yeah, and I’m not too thrilled about it either.” I groan in agony. “I don’t know. It feels all wrong.”

“But… you guys are only having a bit of fun anyway, right?” Of course, I haven’t told Anna how much I’m falling for himbecause I don’t want it to get embarrassing, but now, I might have to. I need advice.

“It’s supposed to be a bit of fun.” My head falls into my hands as the weight of this situation crushes me. “But I don’t know if it is anymore. I feel like his leaving is going to break my heart.” There’s a beat of silence for far too long. I can tell that Anna doesn’t understand. She needs more from me. “Yes, I know I’m leaving soon, so it shouldn’t make any difference at all, but it does. I can’t help it.”

“Uh-oh. It sounds like you’re under Jax’s spell to me.” Anna sits beside me and rubs my shoulders sympathetically. “That must be really hard for you. But you don’t want it to ruin the remaining time that you guys have left, do you? You want this to end, if it’s going to have to anyway, with happy memories. So, why not focus on making this time amazing and deal with the heartbreak after? That way, it’ll always be the nice thing that you always wanted it to be. It won’t be something that you regret the end of.”

Even as I turn and weep into Anna’s chest, I know she’s right. That’s exactly what I need to do. There is only one outcome for all of this. There is no way that I can change what’s going to happen, so the only way I can make this okay is by enjoying every single moment that I have with him. Starting with tonight. This is going to be a celebration for him, and I’ll do whatever it takes to ensure that we have the best time. This could end up being the last date that we go on, and it needs to be our best.

“I need you to dress me,” I tell Anna through the tears. “We have a date tonight and I need your help.”

“Oh, I’ll make you so beautiful tonight that he’llneverbe able to forget you, no matter what happens. I can assure you of that much.” She runs her fingers through my hair. “You’re going to blow him away.”

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