Page 32 of Dangerous Vengeance

Natalie 5:47 PM: No. I can’t come back. Your brothers will kill me. You have the laptop. That’s all you need.

Matty 5:48 PM: They want you dead, and I’m the only one on your side at this point. If you keep digging, you’re going to be wearing cement boots.

A few minutes goes by, and I walk on pins and needles. This is a strange number, probably a burner cell. If I go to our police, contact or even Lenny to have this number traced Dominic will hear about it and Roman will be there before I get to her. He already knows I’m going to defy him. He may have given orders to the entire family to shoot her dead-on sight and not help me.

Matty 5:56 PM: Natalie, I’m your only option.

Natalie 5:57 PM: I can’t come back, Matty. I’m scared. I just want Hal’s killer to go down, and I intend to prove it. Please, just promise me you’ll get your brothers to lay off. I know it wasn’t you or them.

I am seething with rage now. No one tells me no. No one defies me or runs away from me. Doesn’t she see I’m trying to help her? Can’t she realize that if she’s out there on her own, they will find her? And they will kill her.

Matty 6:00 PM: Let me come get you. I’ll bring you in safely.

Natalie 6:01 PM: So, you can get my password and kill me? No thanks.

I try calling. It rings and rings and she never picks up. So, I try again, and again. I know she’s there. I know she sees my calls. I know she’s upset and scared, and fuck what I wouldn’t do to see the little minx’s face right now, stubborn and fighting me. I’d teach her a lesson she’d never forget. But she won’t pick up, and I’m at a loss right now.

Matty 6:07 PM: Pick up the fucking phone.

Matty 6:08 PM: I’m not letting them kill you, okay? I want you in my bed.

There’s more I’d say but this isn’t the time. For all I know they’re tracking my messages and calls and already know where she is because they ran a trace on the number, I’m in communication with. She has to know how stupid she’s being.

I send a smattering of message, at least fifteen, but she stops replying, and when I try to call the number, it goes straight to voicemail. She’s either removed the battery, turned the phone off, or they got her and destroyed it. I scream and kick a stone from the sidewalk. I have to get to her before Dominic or the Italians. Chances are they aren’t looking yet, but it’s only a matter of time. We’ve almost definitively proved that her source was L’ombra, thanks to Rome’s investigation.

I’m coming for you, Natalie, if it’s the very last thing I do. Because when I see something I want, I take it. And no one stops me. I don’t care if my brothers want you dead.

19

NATALIE

Ilean against the building staring down at Matty’s messages until I can’t stomach it anymore. I can’t go back. He doesn’t understand that I need justice for Hal. The only thing he is thinking about is how good I fuck him. Not only is that not enough for a real relationship with him, but his family will kill me. I know now that investigating the Bratva or the Italian Mob, or the Armenians or any other organized crime family in this city is the worst idea possible. Sheffield was right to warn me, and I hate myself that he paid with his life, that I had to learn the hard way.

I turn the phone off and shove it in my pocket. It’s cold, I’m shivering. I walk aimlessly for a while, checking over my shoulder every few seconds to make sure I’m not being followed. I don’t have enough money to get a room anywhere, but I do have enough to pay for a subway ticket. A ride to anywhere is only a few bucks, so I purchase my pass and head below ground.

It's warmer down here, heat from the massive engines that power the trains keeping it a sweltering temperature even as fall grips the city. I’m relieved for a short time that I’m not shivering so violently, but the atmosphere is cold in a different way. Too many people get mugged and killed in subway stations. I’ve read horror stories of women being raped and men being gutted all for a watch worth nothing. Still, it’s better than sleeping on a sidewalk where the rats will chase me.

I duck into a car, and I don’t even care that I don’t know where it’s headed. These trains run on a massive loop that runs twenty-four hours a day. And the car I’ve chosen is pretty empty. A few passengers sit spread out from each other, occupied with their phones or a book. One woman stands, holding the pole and staring into space. I take a spot near the front of the carriage and sit down. I feel so alone here, like I could drift on this train for days and no one would come looking.

I wonder if Lucy and the gang from work would have come looking if Matty had kept me longer? I wonder if my parents are worried yet, if anyone has called them to say I’m missing. It’s been weeks. I’d call them myself, except what would I say? I can’t come home to you because if I do, a madman and his family may kill you all… That’s not a very comforting thought for them. It may be better off if I never speak to them again. At least they’d be safe—heartbroken, but not dead.

The words scrolling across the LED sign hanging from the ceiling of the car tell me there are delays on the line. It doesn’t matter. I’m not even going anywhere. I just need a warm safe spot to sleep. The chances of a criminal targeting me on this particular train, at this exact moment, out of all the trains that are currently running in the city, and how many cars are in each train—it’s probably up there with winning the lottery, and I’ve never done that.

I lean against the wall and let my head rest back against the window and shut my eyes. It’s still early, just after seven, but I’m exhausted. I’ve been exhausted for months. Chasing leads to track down Hal’s killer has been emotionally draining. When I laid across Matty’s chest is when I felt the most comfortable, the most relaxed. But that moment wasn’t real. He isn’t my soul mate. I can’t return to him.

Men like Matty are trained soldiers who follow orders. By now his brother has already told him to off me. I know it. I can feel it in my gut. He is only being nice to me to hunt me down. There is no way he intends to keep me safe. My only way out of this is to expose the killer and leave town. I have no other choice. No matter how magical the moments between Matty and me were, they weren’t real. They were an illusion painted out of hormones and desperation.

I feel tears welling up and I don’t even stop them. I wanted Matty to be real, for him to actually feel something strong enough to love me, to protect me. But he can’t. He has to be loyal to his family. I know that. And I won’t try to stop him, but I do have to stay alive, even if only long enough to give my parents some closure over Hal.

Sleep pulls me into its depths, and I drown. Nightmares plague me, forcing me to jolt awake every twenty minutes or so. It’s tormenting to relive that day over and over, and the only thing I remember when I wake up each time is the blood. There was blood everywhere. I can’t unsee it, can’t do anything about it except move forward toward answers.

Until a dream of Matty brings comfort. He’s there, hands all over my body, words growling into my ear that I’m his. That he owns me. I yield to him too, desperate to belong somewhere now that the place I felt most at home has been torn away. Hal was like home, like my father, and he’s gone. But Matty is here, ready to be my fortress… If I only believed that were true.

I wake to the gentle nudge of a hand on my knee. My neck hurts craned back all night long. The lights are the same as they were when I nodded off. I have no way of knowing what time it is even, until I look at the LED sign that announces the seven a.m. train is running nine minutes behind. I blink hard and look around, rubbing the back of my neck and see a very dirty woman seated across from me. She has to have been the one who woke me. Her skin is so filthy I can’t tell what race she is other than the shape of her eyes—not of Asian descent at least.

“Hey, you can’t be sleeping on here. They’ll come and kick you off.” She says it like she has experience in it.

“Where are we?” I mumble, rubbing my eyes.

---