Page 45 of Dangerous Refuge

“Sven, wait up,” she calls, but I don’t even look at her. I can’t. When I see her face it makes me want her, and I thought she was a strength for me. It turns out, she’s my greatest weakness.

“Walk faster,” I snap again, picking up my pace. We’re only a block away from Sarah’s building, and that’s where I’ll leave her. Forever.

I hear rushed steps behind me and Allie jogs up to fall in step with me. I glance down at how she rubs her wrists; they’re raw and almost bleeding. I’ve seen far worse injuries than this—compound fractures, bullet holes, lacerations that would make a doctor cringe. This is nothing, just a little rope burn, so why do I even give a single fuck about it? Except I force myself to resist the urge to take her into my arms and kiss every wound she has.

“Thank you,” she mutters, sniffling. “He was going to kill me.”

“I told you, you’d be safe with me. You left. What did you think was going to happen?” I round the corner of the building and see the uniforms out front. I recognize them immediately as friendlies, people Monroe probably called to make sure the building was secure after Allie was taken. Allie doesn’t say anything else, though I sense she is hurt by my comment. She should have known better.

“Sven,” one of the cops calls out, “is that the girl?” His chin jerks upward in Allie’s direction. The younger cop is just naive enough to go along with anything the family says, which makes him perfect for grooming into a position of power with us.

“Yeah…” We stop and stand with the cops for a moment. Allie’s eyes flit nervously, scanning their faces then looking down. She stands closer to me than she ever has; she’s still afraid, or maybe it’s something else. It doesn’t matter. That part of the agreement ended the second she walked out of my house. I fulfilled my duties even though I didn’t have to. And that is how I have to think of this.

“Monroe is up there. I think he’s talking to CPS about the kid.” The other cop I know less about, but Dominic trusts him. I nod and look up at the third story where lights stream out the windows. It’s the only apartment still illuminated this time of night.

“I’m going up; watch for Tucker. He’ll be bringing my car around.” I gesture for Allie to follow me and open the door for her. I can tell there are unspoken words on her lips; her eyes are speaking volumes. It’s easy to avoid eye contact with her since she follows me, but the real problem will come when Rico sees me. That kid pulls my damn heart strings so badly sometimes.

At the top of the stairs, I head toward Allie’s apartment. Her shuffling footsteps are still there, trailing behind me. “Rico will be glad to see you back safe.” I don’t even knock on the door. If Monroe is here the door isn’t locked. It swings open freely and I see Rico lying on the old squeaky leather sofa sleeping. Monroe and Sarah are seated at the kitchen table talking quietly, and Sarah pops to her feet, eyes wide, as Allie enters.

“Oh my god,” she hisses and rushes around me. I turn to see Allie and Sarah hugging, Allie’s eyes full of tears. “My god he hit you.” Sarah lightly touches the wounds on Allie’s face. Wounds I should be touching, cleaning, putting salve on. I feel my throat constrict and I clench my jaw.

“What the hell happened?” Monroe asks in a low voice. I match his volume, which I assume is so they don’t wake the boy. I can see Allie’s phone clutched in Rico’s hand tightly. He snores softly, eyes darting beneath his eyelids.

“I used the address you gave me and I got to her before Vice. I’m pretty sure he’s dead, but if not the courts can have fun with him.” I look down at my shirt, soaked in his blood and clinging to my chest. “It got a little messy.”

“I can see that,” Monroe says, leaning in. “What the hell am I supposed to tell Vice?”

“Look, buddy, my cleaners are there. They’ll make it look good, probably like someone robbed him of his stash. Gun is untraceable, left there at the scene. Allie’s blood at the scene only proves she was taken by him, another count to add to his charges if he’s alive. Go ahead and write up the report that she burst in here.”

I eye Sarah and Allie harshly and they both look up at me. “She escaped from him before the robbery. And you go ahead and check her hands for gunshot residue. Prove she hasn’t fired a weapon which means she’s not the killer.”

“Sven, this is a lot of fixing.” Monroe mops his brow with his handkerchief and I notice Rico stirring on the couch. The boy turns over, mumbling something in his sleep. Allie’s eyes still flow with tears but she nods at me gratefully.

“Please stay a bit,” she whispers. “Rico will want to see you.”

“It’s better if I go.” I move back toward the door and Monroe huffs out a sigh. “Got a problem?” I ask him, turning over my shoulder.

“Nah, get out of here.” Monroe follows me to the door and shuts it. For a moment I stand outside the closed door thinking of what I am giving up. I invested a lot of energy and time into trying to make Allie mine, but I don’t think it’s a good fit anymore. My impulsivity and obsession with her make me think maybe I’m not cut out to have a partner like that. I head down the stairs with a hollow feeling in my chest and heavy feet. Each step thuds louder than the one before it until I’m on the sidewalk. I pass the uniforms and see Tucker with my car parked in the next block.

“Sven!”

Allie’s shout guts me. I know she’s just going to thank me politely for coming to save her. She made it clear that she won’t have her son around my family and the lifestyle I live, so I’m not sure I even want to turn around. I keep walking toward my car pretending I haven’t heard her when I hear her shoes slapping on the sidewalk.

“Sven, stop.” Her hand grips my elbow and I turn to see her.

“What is it?” It might be the first time I’ve used a soft tone with her since we met. She’s still crying, but this time it isn’t fear in her bruised swollen eyes.

“I thought I could do this. I thought maybe I could walk away and start over and just be okay. That you were only using me for sex and that I could use you for protection the same way. I thought I’d go through with some fake marriage if Paul stuck around that long, that you’d get rid of him by chasing him away, and then I could divorce you and leave. And I was totally wrong, Sven. I can’t leave you. And it’s not because I need protection. It’s because I love you.”

She stares up at me with a quivering lower lip. It shakes so badly she bites it and I don’t know what to say. No one besides Lacy has ever confessed to loving me. I’m an asshole. I’m a brute. I treat people like shit and capitalize on their willingness to submit to my authority and money. I’m not a lover, or compassionate.

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know. I just thought maybe you’d say. You love me too, that you feel something similar since we had all that time together.” She’s nervous, hesitating. I can see her withdrawing into herself again. She feels like a fool.

“What ever made you think that I am capable of love—the type of love you’re confessing to having for me?” I study her eyes, then watch her facial expression change.

“You came for me.” Allie steps closer to me, gingerly touching the blood on my chest. “You saved my life when you had no reason to.”

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