Page 75 of The Catalyst

“Nothing. Kennedy needed to be put back in his place,” I grumble under my breath before turning back to my room, but then out of nowhere, Charlie slams the door closed, leaning against it as if I can’t lift him by his hair and throw him into the next room.

I swear, I’m going to kill this fucker if he doesn’t get out of my goddamn way.

“You’re not escaping this. What the fuck do you think you’re doing withher? Nigel may not be here to defend himself, but I will.She doesn’t belong to you.”

You wouldn’t be saying that if you heard her declare the exact opposite sentiment last night.

I don’t say that though. I don’t need him causing more problems than he already is.

“Get out of my way.”

“What is he talking about? What did you do, Ollie?” Oisin asks and my head pounds from all the voices stabbing my brain.

“Look, this isn’t our business. This is between Ollie and Nigel,” Ro states.

“Like fuck it isn’t! Their business affects everyone in this house, including you,” Charlie presses, venom on his tongue. “Ollie has been screwing Beth behind Nigel’s back, sneaking off with her in the middle of the night. I caught them coming in this morning. They were all cozyandshe was covered in bruises. She didn’t get those from walking to his car!”

I’m on the edge of a psychosis and those are never pretty. I try to avoid them by managing my surroundings, taking time to cool down before dealing with more stress, but the last time I went through one, I killed the two kids I was rooming with in the psych ward. The rules were different there than they are here. I don’t have my “uncle” bailing me out anymore. If I kill someone outside of the warehouse, it will land meinthe warehouse.

I try to take deep, calming breaths, but they aren’t fucking working.

Nothing is fucking working. I need to get out of this fucking hall.

“Why would you do that, Ollie? Nigel is your best friend. Why would you stab him in the back like that?” Oisin presses, his voice the fucking tipping point.

Fuuuck.

“Just stop, okay!” I growl. “It’s none of your fucking business what I do with my life. She makes things easier which none of you fucking do ever. I don’t have to deal with this bullshit or being badgered for my motives. She makes things easy. She is easy!” I don’t know any other way to put it. I can’t say that I love her because I’m not sure if I’m capable of that emotion. She makes my life comfortable though. She makes the days and nights better. The chaos in my mind is manageable with her there. If that’s what someone would consider love, then yeah, I love her in that way.

All I need is to hold her and talk to her and she calms me, leaving me with the serene quiet in my mind. All that exists then is her fairy green eyes, freckles, and fire engine red hair.

All other problems just fade away.

“Really?” I look up at where the voice came from and see the one who plagues me day and night, standing at the end of the hall, looking like someone just suckerpunched her.

I have no idea how much of that she heard, but I know if she heard the whole thing, she wouldn’t be looking at me like that. She might even be moved to an extent.

The way she is looking at me is like I hurt her.

“Seriously, is that your fucking stance? I’measy?” She walks down the hall to me, a mixture of devastation and fury on her face. “Is that what you got to say? You were fine talking about me behind my back, but now you’re fucking silent.”

“Beth, that’s not–” Ronan starts and she immediately sends him a death glare.

“Stay out of it, Ro!”

She’s not easy in the way she is thinking. I thought she was when I first met her, but I’ve gotten to know her a little bit since then. She is the opposite and so much more than that. She’s everything I didn’t know I needed in my life.

“Is that it, Ollie? Is that how you see me? Just some easy slut?” she turns her dagger-like gaze back to me and I groan.

“No, that is not–”

Even she isn’t letting me speak, the one who is always so desperate to hear what I have to say if anything at all.

“Really? That’s not the tone you just fucking had while talking to your fucking friends. That’s not what I just heard you say about me when I wasn’t fucking here to defend myself. You said I was fucking easy!” I’ve never heard her say “fucking” so many times in less than a minute of speaking before. It would be impressive if my head wasn’t spinning. I’m barely hanging from hurting if not her than one of the others around me.

I just need it to fucking stop.

Freeze.

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